stories
Military Life
My wife and I came through a long 15 month deployment in Iraq, While she was home I worried more each day about our marriage because of other relationships I have seen become destroyed while gone for so long. I have seen close friends of mine go through some terrible times. These things made me doubt things in my marriage and start to worry much more. Some of my friends have told me that being married in the military, especially deployed was a BAD idea, and I should think about ending it. They all told me that my wife was probably home cheating on me anyway and there is no room for heartache in the army. Even though I was filled with fear and much more I gutted through the remaining months and returned home to my wife. I still to this day think about all those relationships that were torn apart because of the deployment. I still want to help my friends, but it takes until these soldiers commit suicide until the army gets involved or even knows that there is a problem. By doing what I thought was right I gave the names of some soldiers whom were going through rough times in marriage and relationships to the post family readiness center and to the chaplains mailbox. Sometimes I wonder is what I am doing going to make their situation worse? But I am just doing what I know the right thing is.
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Bob Robert | 6 months, 1 week ago
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I believe you have done the right thing
I’m not married, but I’ve had a long distance relationship for 3 years and it annoys me that everyone seems to have an opinion on long distance relationships and why they’re doomed to fail. It annoys me even more that people automatically assume that the ones who stay home are inevitably cheating. Sure it happens and sadly, more often than I’d like to believe and sure it’s difficult but my boyfriend and I, though we miss each other terribly, we are still strong. It is possible to make it work, even in deployment, and you are living proof of that. I belive you did the right thing by trying to get your friends some professional help, these things are very difficult, even more so when it comes to a returning soldier. It will be up to them to make it work, but sometimes we are too stubborn to reach out for help. However, the most important thing is (I believe) to share your story of success with those dealing with similar issues, it is always a lot more inspiring when you talk to someone who went through the same dilemma and prevailed. Congratulations.
Maria Stillman | 4 months, 2 weeks ago
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Spouse of deployed soldier
Hey I understand what you are talking about, my husband first deployment was for 15 month and it was hard on me he cheated and verbally abused me and compared me to other females. I tried to make it work because of where he was at and understanding that people do talk and that he see and hears things that I do not. He came home and it was rough he pulled away from me and then was nice again before his next deployment and then I get an email he wants a divorce. I think counseling needs to be arrange and men and women soldier do not need to be around each other with out being supervise. I have tried to hold on to marriage Lord knows I have. Now I have a man who is dealing with stress in another country threating me to take his car away from me and not sending me child support. I respect you and your wife for sticking together. Again soldiers need people to reach out to them and let them know that what happens in other people marriages does not mean it would happen to you.
Tawana | 3 months, 2 weeks ago
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Mrs.
My husband is retired military. Our first two children were born in Germany, the next was three months old when he came back from Thialand where he spent a year. He then was sent to Michigan and we went with him. Then the gov. wanted to send him to Korea 6 months later because of the Pueblo (sp) crissis. Again it would leave me and the three boys behind. He to had concern about our relationship. We still have problems because of the one year separation while he worked as a Jet aircraft mechanic and I stayed back and had the third child while he was fighting for his country in support of the Vietnam war. Things happen that should not happen between using alcohol to get thru each evening alone as a G.I. , etc. We will now be married about 56 years but that separation caused a lot of hardship, etc. Yes give all the support you can to those who are separated and not only the man but the woman left behind too. Or what ever the case may be.. Only military families really understand the sacrifice each makes to protect their country. I don’t even believe those in Washington,,D.C. understand unless they have been in the military or have there own children in the military in the danger zones. Believe me I have. Why my children and husband came back alive and others do not……………..I will never know.
Margaret E. Mandeville | 3 months, 1 week ago
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MS
I was the living with a soldier when he was deployed to Iraq and he didn’t even wait until he left the USA to cheat he began with the woman sent to visit the troops for support from Catholic Charities. The affair continued on since he is still in the reserves, when he went away for the Army she would meet him, he would add days to the time needed away. I never once thought of cheating while he was gone, but my intuition told me something was going on and when I questioned him, of course I got the usual response, nothing is going on. Well I finally found the smoking gun and he is out of my home and my life. I don’t see this is any stats on soldiers in relationships that have failed after deployment.Where and when do we get support?
Lanie | 3 months ago
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Military Marriage
I was in the military a few years ago. I was a single soldier on deployment, but I have seen many marriages get torn apart during the year I was overseas. Most of the marriages that I had seen get torn apart were of men who committed adultery, and their wives doing the same. Some might say ‘what comes around goes around’. This isn’t to say that some military wives do not commit adulterous acts simply because their husbands do…
…most military wives who cheat on their husbands do so out of loneliness. It IS deployment that breaks the families apart, not only how strong the marriage is. Many good women fall victim to feelings of passion and lust when their husbands are out. I do not blame women for this, I blame romance movies like “Catch and Release” and “Notting Hill” and “Definitely Maybe”. Without movies like that women wouldn’t be sitting around thinking “some guy is going to save me from my boredom”. I think women needs hobbies. Too many women sit around going stir crazy because they don’t play enough video games or make model airplanes. If your woman doesn’t have a good hobby like kicking rocks or playing basketball, she is probably at a club getting drunk right now getting one-eightied by two dudes right now.
Anyway, I hope this helps.
-James MAdison
James Madison | 2 months, 2 weeks ago
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message.
hello Andrew.yes it must be soo soo hard away from your wife,& like you said,your gone,for long time,and its not easy for her,& for you,yours is much more harder Andrew, your in the army,and your fighting for our contry..God blee you..Andrew.and your worryeing about your wife might be doeing,because of gone for soo long,you said that some of your friend told you,that your wife is cheating on you..but Andrew you cant belive what some of your friends is telling you.maybe its not even throught.you know some people like to make up stories too you know.but anyway Andrew,did you quiet,the Army? if you did,well thats good,then its better for you,like any other people there gone to work out west,for months and months they leave there wife and kids,or single man,they leave for awhile.its the same thing.as you in away.when you have a wife and children,they shouldnt aply to go in the army..yes theres a lot off couples that separates,because,the husband is never home,or a wife too thats in the army,have to leave her husband and her kids to go and fight for our contry.God bless you Andrew.you already have your place in heaven you,just because you went to fight for our contry..but i will pray for you too.tonight so you can save your mariage..yours truley. Claudette Robichaud..good luck in your future.Andrew…And May God Be With YOU Everyday,and Night..
CLAUDETTE ROBICHAUD. | 1 month, 4 weeks ago
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cheating
My husband is currently deployed, and we have a little girl who is 6 months old my husband cheated on me while he was home and I was pregnant so of course I worry he would do it while he is away…Im not saying I never cheated on someone but I take marriage seriously and would never do it now…I guess my question is how do you know if there cheating on you while they are deployed? Do you just have to assume or guess, I hate to do this but because of his track record I do worry, since he cheated he has tried to be a good husband but he found out about this deployment and it hasnt even been a full year since he cheated last….any tips? God bless anyone else who is going through a deployment right now.
Clarissa | 1 month, 3 weeks ago
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Captain of Fire
I see so many of our people in the fire service, detailing out to serve our country in the military. They have families and many of them have done more than 1 tour.
I am grateful to them and to you for sacrificing so much. The horrors of war is just that. War is hell. So now i hope and pray that you can find peace with your loved ones, this life and yourself.
Thank you
Anthony Perez | 1 month ago
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amazing
wow you must be in alot of tense and drama am sorry but the same thing happend to my dad am 16 years old and my mom left my dad becuse he was gone for to long and i havent met my dad since this day but hopes are out there just belive in them.:)
santiago cisneros | 1 week, 3 days ago
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