Comments

1. Note to Dude

   I think to blame or hold the parents responsible we need more information. I must admit that my children have done things that I have actively taught and reinforced them not to do. They have always, yes always, done these thing when they thought I wouldn't find out. It takes a village to raise a child. I would find out because someone else finally reported to me. All of my children are now 18 and older and only one has continued to be self destructive. The others have become soldiers, nurses, teachers. Should I be blamed because in spit of my efforts the one child has basically failed in society? I believe we as a society are to quick to blame parents and teachers because we don't want to look at the structure we are struggling against. If our kids were expected to help the family with basic home skills, do their homework, and contribute to the community. They wouldn't have time to hold grudges and plot attacks.

   7 months, 2 weeks ago In response to Attack of the 3rd-Graders?

2. We don't respect kids

   I so agree with Rori. We all have failed and the society we have created is making it impossible to change. The education system is broke. It is not in tune with our new world. The system was set to provide workers for assembly lines. That type of work hardly exists any more. We don't need to demonize TV, teacher, games, or violent movies. We need to be on top of what is happening with our loved ones and the guy down the street. The answer is, yes, we are our brother's keeper. It's wrong to respond to a report of misbehavior of our children by saying "OH, no my son/daughter wouldn't do that." Oh, yes they would unless we teach them other wise. Our society needs to make it possible for one parent to stay home and if that one is the male member he shouldn't have to feel ridiculed. If it's the female she shouldn't have to feel financially in jeopardy. How to do that? I have some ideas but to even try to implement them would have almost 100% of the affected people screaming in protest. Along with working with children, I have learned to work with animals, specifically dogs and horses. You have three seconds to correct their behavior and no more. Once it's over it's over. If we treated other human beings like that the anger management people would probably go out of business. We encourage grudges when we over discipline or if we don't discipline consistently and carefully. When I was growing up, if the teacher said I'd done something wrong I faced the music at home. Now days mom and dad run out and get a lawyer. That's part of the problem in many schools today. Any one interested in how populations react when they are crowded should talk to social psychologists who can direct you to a study of rats. We pack to many children together in a small space and expect them to perform under extreme environmental stress while they try to learn. That might make me stand on a chair too.

   7 months, 2 weeks ago In response to Attack of the 3rd-Graders?

3. Start where you are, do what you can

   Over the years I keep saying those words. They're not mine. they belong to some script writer for the TV show "In the heat of the night." They were spoken by the Chief of detectives wife in answer to the white sheriff's question on how to help poor blacks in the south. They have been an excellent comfort when I see so much wrong and want to run right out and do something. I would repeat Natalie's statement. This is what should be on the nightly news and not as a condescending way. We need people receiving 'Friend of Humanity' Medals.

   7 months, 2 weeks ago In response to Going Postal

Changing the subject doesn't change the stated sit

We need to step back and look at this situation calmly. It doesn't require fast action and I respect all of the opinions I've read so far. The problem, again, is no one knows what the facts are behind the abandonment of this child. A pertinent point is the fact that if you are accused of a crime by a 'dirty cop' and are forced to defend yourself against that authority you haven't committed a crime. People need facts. This girl, no matter the situation, has proven she cannot make good choices and if I were in a position to do so I would end her rights to this child. The fact she gave up the child in the first place says she can't or won't take care of it if she is reunited with her son. But should that end her life as a citizen of the USA? We are innocent until proven guilty and when we serve a sentence handed down by a judge we are considered good to go. Finding and holding this girl responsible for her actions is not and never should be persecution. And she has a right to defend herself. Again I wonder where the other people in her life are. If she is alone in the world then maybe the foster care system itself has either failed her or made her a victim. Directly to Steph, I agree with you, but there is the letter of the law and the spirit of the law. And even if the laws we enact by our agreement of lack of opposition don't work the way we expect we need to make them work or void them by taking political action. Another point I'd like to make is that I work with all ages of children and I'm often impressed by them. I know sixteen year olds that can hold conversations about Greek and Roman history and have opinions on fashion and politics alike. We can't say this sixteen year old girl didn't know what she was doing. The only thing we can guess at was she felt cornered or was selfish and we won't know until she is found and interviewed.

7 months, 2 weeks ago In response to Gone Baby Gone

Reply to 'What?'

If you believe in spirits inhabiting a physical body then the baby has some idea of what is going on in its short life. I find that a little horrifying to be helpless and not know what's coming next, but every person in the world has to face it at some level. The child is innocent and we know his/her story. We know all of it. Hopefully wiser heads will give this baby the life it deserves and honesty about what happened. I agree, where are this girl's parents? AND where is the father of this baby. Especially if we are going to cry for blood why should the father be given a pass? This girl didn't have sex by herself and getting pregnant still requires two people. So let's also hold the father, the four grandparents and the mother criminally responsible. Will that solve the problem? Unfortunately not. I think we need to face the fact that we can't save all the babies, starving people, sick animals,etc. in the world and concentrate on doing the best we can. Some words I remember from a TV series many years ago when a black woman was asked 'where do we start and what do we do?' Her answer was: 'We start where we are and do what we can. Let's make sure the baby gets a good home and grows up strong and confident and loved. The people who failed this baby will get theirs when its time.

7 months, 3 weeks ago In response to Gone Baby Gone

Gone baby gone

My only information is the above article and I am writing this right after the Texas debacle. This girl needs to be found for many reasons. She is old enough and I would assume that she can read and understand the English language. I live in Wisconsin and I've heard of the safe harbor law in California. And as many people have found out the hard way, ignorance of the law is no excuse. Handing a child to a stranger is just plain criminal. However, if this girl was that desperate there may be extenuating circumstances. She needs counseling and then some kind of appropriate discipline. There is the letter of the law and the spirit of the law. The proper authorities need to hear her side of the story. This child should be placed in a safe and stable environment. However I also have misgivings about placing a child in any foster care in any state of this union. I've heard enough horror stories to wonder if that stranger wouldn't be a better choice for the safety of this particular baby.

7 months, 3 weeks ago In response to Gone Baby Gone

Define what responsibility means to you.