Comments

1. I Never Said That It Is Impossible

   First of all, I don't know you in real life, so I'm somewhat skeptical when you say that you have three children. It's all too easy for a person to claim something over the internet that just isn't true. That said, I agree that a caregiver or a parent is supposed to be a voice for a child that can't speak for themselves. However, caregiver burnout is a very real condition. (You can google it). It's due to caregiver burnout that respite caregivers were created. A responsible parent/child looks for caregiver burnout in their child/adult dependent caregiver. A caring spouse looks for caregiver burnout in their husband/wife. A caregiver that is suffering from burnout is not going to be as responsive to a child's needs as a caregiver that has the proper amount of rest and social interaction within their peer group.

   4 months, 2 weeks ago In response to The Nanny Diaries

2. You've Got To Be Kidding Me!

   When I was a kid, I was picked last for kickball, last for relay races. . . . But when it came to dodgeball, it was another story. Parents need to help their kids focus less on what they CAN'T do and help them to focus more on what they CAN do. Parents need to help them focus LESS on the kids that DON'T want them around and to VALUE the kids that do. Taking away recess because some kids might feel ridiculed or left out takes away the responsibility of the parent to build their child's self-esteem by pointing out their child's positive attributes and helping them to make healthy friendships with their peers.

   4 months, 2 weeks ago In response to Not It

3. Oh PUH-LEEZE!!!!

   I started reading the newspaper when I was in the third grade. If you think that Sesame Street is bad, what do you think of reading about serial killers and child abductions?! The world is an imperfect place rife with the possibility of making wrong choices. What helps safeguard against the possibility of wrong choices are responsible parents that are willing to speak to their children about inappropriate behaviors (drug usage, alcoholism, smoking, and premarital sex,) and are willing to listen and respond when their children open up to them about how they feel about those inappropriate behaviors.

   4 months, 2 weeks ago In response to Seen on the Street

This Is A Toughy

While what this young girl did was clearly irresponsible (she had no idea that this stranger would not harm her child,) at the same time, we don't know her situation or state of mind. This young girl could very possibly have been worried that she might hurt the baby if she didn't pass the child off right when she did. More over, where was the biological father in all of this? Why is he not sharing in the responsibility for caring for this infant? Do I think this girl should be held responsible for her actions? Yes. But do I think she should be punished severely? No.

4 months, 2 weeks ago In response to Gone Baby Gone

My Two Cents

When I was four, my Mom, a single Mother, took up work as a Cocktail Artist at a local drinking establishment. Most of the time, my Mom was able to have my Grandma sit for me, but there were times when that just was not possible. As my Father had custody of my brother, my Mom was not awarded Child Support, so she could NOT afford to miss work. Days spent away from work meant days ahead that we would be going without eating. So my Mom took me to the local pub. And you know what? I only have GOOD memories of the place. No one fought when I was around. To the contrary, the patrons usually came over and talked to me. Some would even buy neat things for me like a giant teddy bear that was bigger than I was. Others would challenge me to a game of darts. I had fun. Did I become an Alcoholic? No. In fact, I never acquired a taste for alcohol. When I go to a bar, I usually order a lemon-lime soda. Do I think going to the bar turned me off of alcohol? No. Any kind of alcohol, wine, liqueurs, hard licquor, even beer all leave a funny after-taste on my palette. That said, years later, when I had my own kids, I chose to be a SAHM. It was important to me to be sure that my children were cared for by a reliable, responsible, caring person that will uphold my values. I know my Mom and MIL well enough to know that not all of my rules for my children will be respected and I've heard enough scary stories from friends that sent their kids to sitters or daycare to know that none of those options were an option for me. Unfortunately, nothing prepared me for the isolation that I would feel as a SAHM. When my husband gets home from work, I'm desperate to have a conversation that has NOTHING TO DO WITH Pokemon or Dora The Explorer! One Saturday afternoon, after weeks of being cooped up in the house, I begged my husband to take me out. My husband chose to take us to a local Sports bar & grill. (And before we have the second-hand smoke police screaming at me, allow me to point out that it is ILLEGAL to smoke inside ANY bar in my state.) While we were there, no one was arguing/fighting. In fact, there weren't even any loud conversations. One lady was even doing work on her laptop. Hardly anyone had anything but a glass of beer to drink, no one was visibly intoxicated, the establishment even had its own kids menu and before we left, a father and Grandfather came in with their children. Granted, I understand that there are people that look down on this sort of behavior, but it's not my job to please those people. My job is to raise my children to become mentally/emotionally stable contributors to our society. I can't do that if I'm ready to scream every time I hear the Pokemon theme song.

4 months, 2 weeks ago In response to Babies in the Bar

If It Were My Kid

First of all, I'd ask him/her what the teacher had done that was so upsetting to him/her. Next, I would acknowledge his/her feelings. Then, I would try to explain how the teacher was feeling during the situation. After that, I would ask my child to write an essay detailing every reason that his/her behavior was unacceptable. More over, I would strip my child's room down to nothing but a bed without sheets and a pillow without a pillowcase and I would ground him/her to her room for three days, only allowing him/her out to bathe, get ready for school, to eat meals with the family and a one hour sanity break to do whatever. No tv, no telephone and no friends until further notice.

4 months, 2 weeks ago In response to Attack of the 3rd-Graders?

Poor Corey

It had to be hard for him to turn his Dad in, but the longer he would have waited, the longer his road to recovery might have been. Maybe while Corey's Dad is in the pen, he'll be able to get the psychological help he needs to help him be a better Dad.

4 months, 2 weeks ago In response to Shot Through the Heart

Caregiving Is HARD work.

Caregiving is hard work. Seriously. You'd be surprised at the number of people that think that teaching a kid to not eat things off of the ground, to walk, to talk, to use the toilet, to read and to self-soothe is easy. It's not. It's hours on end of missed heartbeats because even though you thought the floor was clean, the little nipper managed to find and swallow THE ONE THING you couldn't see on the floor. It's not easy. It's your heart jumping in your throat every time that precious little baby stumbles to the floor while trying to walk on his/her own for the first time. Knowing that the floor is soft has never made it any easier for me. It's not easy. It's frustration raising like bile at the back of the throat because kiddo will say "Dada" over and over but his/her version of "Mama" sounds like "Guy-ng guy-ng". It's not easy. It's wanting to cry after the kid has had their third diaper blow-out in a ROW and there are no outfits clean enough to clothe him/her. It's not easy. It's the aggravation of trying to read the child a book while struggling to keep them from turning the page. It's not easy. It's the minutes that feel like hours as you listen to a kid scream when it's time to go to bed. It's not easy. It can wear on the nerves. While I don't condone that nanny's actions, it's definitely possible that Miriam caught that nanny on a bad day. Granted, someone DEFINITELY should have stepped up on behalf of that baby, I definitely feel that opening a dialogue would have been preferable to confronting the nanny in such a way that it ticked her off to the point that she started yanking the baby around. Who knows how that baby was treated after the nanny's encounter w/Miriam?

4 months, 2 weeks ago In response to The Nanny Diaries

Define what responsibility means to you.