Comments

1. Really?

   You don't think that gently stepping in to make sure that the kid is removed from the sun and the nanny is informed in a way that she will receive...is preferable to making a scene that will humiliate a complete stranger who WILL get defensive and turn off to anything you have to say? I'm sorry, Justin, but if you do it my way, the kid gets protected from the sun and his irresponsible caregiver is not provoked to retaliate against the child. Your way...you get to feel like a righteous hero, but you've further endangered the baby, who is still in the care of the irresponsible nanny...who you have now enraged. I completely disagree with you, and my solution to the problem had nothing to do with insulting a Samaritan; it had to do with entering a situation that you don't know everything about with caution and respect for all parties involved. Flying off in a righteous hero-frenzy without all the facts is never the best response, even if it comes from the best intentions.

   7 months, 2 weeks ago In response to The Nanny Diaries

2. See...that's not the point

   It's not about helping the mothers. It's about what is good for the kids. People have completely lost sight of the fact that parental responsibility isn't about the PARENTS and their choices/desires/dreams. It's about raising the kids in an environment best suited to them. Staying at home does not preclude making your own money and pursuing your own dreams. It simply changes the field of choices you have during those first few developmental years. I still contend that this entire "debate" is about selfishness and materialism. It has everything to do with women, mothers, fathers, and their financial/personal desires...but all it SHOULD be about is the children and the fact that people don't seem to think they need to be raised by parents anymore. It doesn't take a village. It takes responsible parents. Hiring a nanny to do the "job" who has good enough references, the right value system, and the requisite first aid skills has never, does not, and never will be a substitute for the security of a caring home with a mother and father who are there to parent. It preserves the mother's freedom and the father's ability to live in a two-income situation, but it doesn't serve anyone else. You can talk about what women deserve all you like, but this is supposed to be about what the kids deserve and are not getting.

   7 months, 4 weeks ago In response to The Nanny Diaries

3. Indeed

   I am a stay-home mom. I left a blooming career to take care of my daughter and my family, and it was a decision made out of recognition that vows and parenthood demand sacrifice and personal humility to be done correctly. It's not about me. What IS about me is the volunteer work, hobby pastimes, and from-home continuing education I pursue. I am hardly a shut-in with an apron over my clothes and dark circles under my eyes as I scrub and iron under the oppression of a family that doesn't appreciate me. Seriously...that's what women who choose work over their responsibilities to the family seem to think of when they picture staying home. The image they paint if a SAHM's life stops just short of shackles and illiteracy. I don't "drill ABC's" or anything else all day. I play with my child. I teach her. I cook with her. I read with her. I study my own interests while she naps or does her own thing. I contribute through volunteer work, and I maintain friendships and a social life. I'm not to be applauded. What I'm doing is to be expected. It's what moms are for. It's what a mother is supposed to do. If you don't want to be the one raising your kids...then please explain to me why on earth you would choose to have any.

   7 months, 4 weeks ago In response to The Nanny Diaries

It's not the same

If you feel that caring for children is oppressive...then don't have them. It most certainly is NOT the same or equally responsible of you to have a nanny raising your kids...and you know that, which is why you got defensive and started throwing "oppression" and "little life outside the family" in. Children are not an accessory to "complete" their parents' happy adult picture. There is NOTHING wrong with being a career woman and finding your fulfillment in your accomplishments outside the home. Nothing at all. There IS a problem with abdicating your responsibility as a parent for your own fulfillment. 6 years at home and another 12 being there when your kids are home from school is the job description. If you don't want to do that job...don't apply.

7 months, 4 weeks ago In response to The Nanny Diaries

Intervene by being Helpful...not Hurtful

No one can stop all these self-centered brats who choose to have children to "complete" themselves from giving birth and then outsourcing for someone else to parent them. Since that is the case, if you REALLY want to help a child, in a case like the example here, the correct method is not to start by getting in the woman's face and accusing her of being horrid. Look, I have a child. Some days, I'm a Stepford Mom, and some days, my nerves are worn a little thin. This woman could have been dealing with colic all morning and...being frustrated...not realized that the child was crying about something tangible this time. We don't KNOW that's not the case, and so it's wrong and--I think--horrendously arrogant to approach her without giving benefit of doubt. Saying with a smaile, "Excuse me, Ma'am, but I think she's crying because the sun is in her face," and then gently pulling the visor on the stroller down to shield the baby is a MUCH better way to deal with that situation than accusing the woman of criminal neglect, calling 911, and making a scene. It's also more EFFECTIVE in helping the child. People deserve benefit of doubt...especially those caring for small kids.

8 months ago In response to The Nanny Diaries

Define what responsibility means to you.