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1. Thinking for one's self

   All people and that includes mature children should be taught to deal with situations according to conscience. Granted, society passes laws but can you or anyone honestly claim that all such laws are reasonable, fair, or even Constitutional? Our government is torturing people in our name, which is patently illegal but they do it any way. Any law that is unreasonable can and should be ignored. Black people didn't gain their civil rights because whites willing granted them. They began by refusing to sit in the back of the bus and by demanding equality in the face of official racism. White people of conscience joined in the struggle and the civil rights movement was born. Roe v Wade and the environmental movement didn't begin with our political leaders either. Politicians are always behind the curve and they respond to public pressure for change. I believe in selective non-violent disobedience to stupid and silly laws that do more harm then good and I have always encouraged my children not to be afraid to stand up for what they believe in. And I agree completely that parents should begin teaching their children socially responsible behavior when they are quite young. Any parent who believes they can do nothing for 18 years and then expect their children to know proper behavior is delusional.

   3 months, 1 week ago In response to Should You Drink With Your Kids?

2. Additional thought on using alcohol

   American society maintains a belief that children will grow up and behave responsibly irrespective of what they are exposed to during their formative, developmental years. Society does not expressly make this claim but our policies and our collective actions negate anything we might say to the contrary. We expect children will become responsible parents and citizens, use alcohol, motor vehicles, and guns responsibly, and, vote rationally and intelligently. Yet, honestly, what does our society (and culture) proactively do to ensure that children grow into socially responsible adults? When children and young adults misbehave, society is ready and willing to throw them in jail or ostracize them in some other way for antisocial behavior. Children mimic the adult world but they often act contrary to the manner adults wish them to...a contradiction for sure. Raising children therefore isn't easy and sadly most people are unprepared for the job by temperament and experience. My heart goes out to any single mother because bearing all of the burdens of child rearing must be a heavy and terrible weight (not without its rewards but still a tremendously difficult task). If we wish children to grow into responsible adults then we ought to consider developing laws that reflect life's realities and human nature not what society thinks they ought to be. Our drug, alcohol, and tobacco laws are teleological in nature and hence patently unworkable, and, therefore, they should be rewritten to reflect what is. At the very least, these laws ought to reflect consistency...today, a person may smoke when they're 18 but not drink...why is that? The same person may drive a car, buy a rifle or shotgun, or enlist in the military yet be denied a drink....because he's "underage?" We have no problem sending an 18 year old boy to fight and perhaps die but we have the termerity to tell the same boy he isn't responsible enough to have a drink? We wouldn't have a drinking problem if American society accepted the reality that our kids will follow the general path we lay out for them. If we wish them to drink responsibly then we should begin teaching them how to do it when they are impressionable and willing to listen not attempt to force an unworkable hope down their throats when they reach a rebellious age (and lock them up when they don't obey society's arbitrary dictums). Beyond basic academic education, it isn't society's job to teach children how to do drink or behave in a socially acceptable fashion; traditionally, that's the roll of parents. From what I have seen, parents haven't been fulfilling their job for quite some time but I don't blame parents entirely for this breakdown. Society hasn't troubled itself to support parents in any meaningful way for perhaps 30 years; yet, it makes considerable demands on parents, including de facto requiring families to have two working adults to stay above the national poverty level; society rarely bothers to concern itself whether its demands are reasonable or even achievable. Government passes laws, our leaders thump their chests over how responsible society has become under their tutelage, and then they point a finger when public policy fails to work. Failure is blamed on the influence of Hollywood and/or television, the education system (i.e., teacher's unions&), homosexuals, women's liberation, liberal social values...whatever. Rarely is public policy reconsidered as a cause for failure and it is almost never faulted for being poorly conceived or simply wrong-headed. As far as I can tell, the last time this county formally reconsidered a social agenda was the repeal of the Volstead Act and Prohibition. The alcohol, drug, and tobacco problems we have today are partly caused by poor parental example but the greatest impediment to improving what many perceive as socially irresponsible behavior is failed public policy and our political leadership's unwilling to accept that it has in fact failed miserably. Nothing in this country will change until we own up to these failures and find a different path to follow.

   3 months, 1 week ago In response to Should You Drink With Your Kids?

3. What's absurd is "That's Absurd"

   The illegality of a parent providing alcohol to a child varies from state to state and it is not always illegal. If you want to know what's absurd, it's America's puritanical attitudes that permits people to carry guns and join the military to kill people yet prohibits them from having a beer on a hot day. Children abuse alcohol because society encourages them to do so by its silly prohibition. We have four children over the age of 20. Each child was exposed to responsible alcohol use beginning at age 15 and none have ever had an interest in excessive use of alcohol in large part because we removed its prohibitive mystique. It never occurred to us to worry about the legality of what we were doing with our children because the only thing that matters was/is their welfare, which remains a parental not a societal responsibility. Further, what society or our neighbors thought of our child rearing capabilities never mattered. Public stupidity and hypocrisy were and remain frequent topics in our home and our children were encouraged to ask questions and think beginning at a very young age not mindlessly follow orders. Your views on alcohol use reflect you’re very negative experiences in life just as our experiences created different less extreme views. I do regret that your experiences were so negative and sympathize with your feelings but have you considered the possibility that your parents drinking in front of you may have had little to do with your prohibitive attitudes, which may have been influenced their abuse of the substance? Most European nations have liberal laws governing the use of alcohol and they have lower rates of abuse than the US but then parents often introduce their children to wine at a young age thereby taking the mystery out of drinking. Prohibition and puritanical attitudes have never had much of an impact on American drug or alcohol use; in fact, they have had quite the opposite effect. Elimination of substance abuse requires education and rational policy and presently, the US has very little of either.

   3 months, 2 weeks ago In response to Should You Drink With Your Kids?

Define what responsibility means to you.