Father’s Day
Posted on 4/16/2008 by Kathy McManus
Responsibility encompasses a lot of inevitable territory: family, friends, job, and country. But should responsibility extend to forgiveness? Giving second chances? Seizing the moment before it’s lost forever? Read full article
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Forgive when there is nothing left to give
This movie brought many emotions to the surface that I had buried deep inside for years. My father left us when we were only 3, 2 and 1. He was a drunk and died that way when I was 17 years old. I never had the chance to meet him, or tell him how I felt. I guess I still hold on to some of that anger even now, or maybe it’s jealousy that I didn’t have a father to raise me. There is one thing I can give him now: my forgiveness. After all, he is the man who gave me life, and he is my Dad.
Maybe he’s not around to hear me say it, but I believe he watches over me and my sister. So, this is for him … I forgive you, Daddy.
S. Wade | 1 year, 11 months ago
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Love is always the answer
Every time I read, hear or see something regarding our inability to forgive, it hurts my heart. In my own writing, I believe love and forgiveness are my driving points and inspiration. I once read, “Forgiving frees the forgiver”
My friend,
“I Wish You Enough”
Bob
Bob Perks | 1 year, 11 months ago
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A tough one to crack
I think this girl told herself that her father was dead so many times it unfortunately became her truth. What a fabulous job of directing. I loved this film. I have a similar past and could really relate to this. The art direction and the editing is wonderfully haunting. The ending perfectly restrained. Life is indeed a messy affair but this film rightfully suggests that with a bit of humility forgiveness can push back the shadows of bitterness enough for love to grow once again.
Jeff Payne | 1 year, 10 months ago
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Forgive and Forget
This was truly an emotional film. Having grown up with a loving father, I can’t imagine my childhood without him. The daughter was fortunate that she had the chance to talk with her father before he died. We should all take advantage of opportunities to forgive the ones that hurt us, as well as ask for forgiveness from the ones we have hurt. Forgiveness puts an end to painful memories. It helps you to bring about closure so you can move on with your life.
Brenda Mays | 1 year, 10 months ago
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Lost a Child
I can speak to this from the fathers perspective. I have lost my daughter due to something similar to this. I couldn’t stay with her mother. She blew our money and partied all night, and slept every day. She lied to me, assaulted me, stole from me, and cheated on me. Eventually, I had to go. It’s funny, I see this from many different angles as it applies to my life. But I miss my baby. I can’t watch this video…it kills me.
Dan England | 1 year, 10 months ago
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Lost a Child -- Go 'Find'Her
Interestingly enough, I was forced to leave my home with my son because his father blew our money and partied all night, would come home and harass me all night when I had to go to work the next day, and then he would sleep all day — and would not keep a job. He lied to me, assaulted me, stole from me, and cheated on me. Like you, I had to find the strength to go …so my baby could have the good life I always intended for him. It sounds like you have left your daughter with a mother who does not put your baby’s best interest first … or she would not have mistreated you that way. Since you say that you ‘lost’ your daughter, maybe it would be good now to take the responsibility and go find your daughter and assert your parental rights. It sounds to me like she deserves to have a loving father on her side. Sure, you may not be able to stay with the mother, but you could sure be in close proximity and keep the watchful eye over your daughter. Of course, it will probably take forgiving her mother to be able to take this major step, but I bet your life will be renewed by doing so.
vickie | 1 year, 10 months ago
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Complications
I find it interesting, and very poignant that the cause of the father’s departure is not clearly defined in the film. Is it because he was asked to leave, or because he had to leave for his own sanity? Did the hero of the story (the mother) turn out as she did because of the influences of her mother? Were her impressions of her fathers drinking (which are not substantiated by the later interview with Melissa) a result of her filtered view of history, with the blanks filled in by her mother? Or did she only see her own mother’s view of the story because she was unwilling to see the other side because of her own feelings of abandonment (as the film implies)…
How much of this situation led to her current relationship failures (as is clearly evident in the film)?
I believe that to cope with situations that are complex, sometimes the wrong message is communicated by adults. They attach themselves to their children, as they are unending sources of love and adoration, and forget that children, no matter how young, understand their parents’ relationships. They observe that’s how they learn.
The greatest heartbreak in my life was when my 1 1/2 year old was trying to get my and her mother to kiss when we were having a “restrained” disagreement. She kept pressing our heads together saying “Kiss…Kiss”…She could sense the relationship ending…
But, with a court system that sides with mothers, and a social services system that enables them, and a society that without error believes in the one-sidedness of any relationship dispute…what recourse is there but to leave?
I will always be there for my daughter. But, should I risk a woman who assaulted me, run the risk that she learned her lesson about admitting she assaulted me to the police…and next time she’ll lay to the police so I sit in jail?
I am by far against physical or emotional abuse of any sort, but what would you tell me if she was a he, and I was a? Get away from him…that’s what you would say. Yet, as a father, I am seen as a downcast…a lowlife…I pay my support and then some…I didn’t run out. I just couldn’t stay around.
Will the mother in this story end up being my daughter? Will I not know my own child and my own grandchild? Likely…thanks to the judicial system and our social prejudices.
I can’t go on…as before…this video kills me…
So, I ask…what is the responsible thing to do?
Dan England | 1 year, 9 months ago
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Dan, You Can Enjoy Life Again.
The roots of those deep heart tearing pains can be pulled out and replaced by love of living. I am not a counselor but a veteran of 12 years of depression and severe anxiety. My spouse displayed none of the faults cited. We have 4 beautiful adult children, but I for one had unconscious pains tied to every interaction and have discovered what they were, examined them and flown them into the wind like a frisbee. Please seek out help. Life really is worth it. I was totally taken by surprise by what I discovered but once discovered my reasons for acting the way I had were obvious. Finding out how to stay in each present moment as it occurred started me on a path of healing. Your path may be totally different. Good Luck.
Beth Prenot | 1 year, 9 months ago
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Grief process
A while back I saw a behavioral therapist for a short fifteen minute session. She changed my life forever. She explained to me the steps of the grief process: 1. Shock 2. Denial 3. Sadness 4. Anger 5. Healing
She said that to get through any loss, all five steps must be worked through. Look up the definitions of each in a dictionary sometime for clarity. This is an example of someone stuck in 1 and 2 to avoid the sad and angry. Someone that is never able to heal. Here’s one for you that I’ll just give away though: forgiveness – to let go of angry feelings.
Wow. Think about that! That’s deep. You can’t heal from any loss – job, person, or item – ANYTHING without forgiveness. As a Christian that speaks volumes. It is food for thought. One of my favorite sayings: “It’s not about the years in your life. It’s about the LIFE in your years.” Love this. What wonderful directing! Well done.
Carrie | 1 year, 9 months ago
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Remember Dad
The Story was really great i lost my father 11 years ago to cancer. And I could have done so many things different. thank you. I had the BEST FATHER in the world.
Barbara Trettner_Balog | 1 year, 9 months ago
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