White Lies: When do they start to yellow?
Do these pants make me look fat?
We all tell white lies, but when we do, are we being irresponsible?
And when we tell white lies as parents—I’ll leave work early for your soccer game—are we harming our kids?
“Don’t feel bad,” says psychologist Alan Hilfer. “We all tend to lie to our children on a regular basis.” Santa Claus. The Tooth Fairy. Those kinds of little white lies, which stoke kids’ imaginations and make for happy memories, are apparently pretty benign.
In fact, our ability to tell white lies actually starts when we are young children and our parents and other adults coax us to spare the feelings of others—Tell grandma how much you love the book she sent you.
According to Professor Victoria Talwar at McGill University, not only are junior’s white lies OK, they’re actually a positive developmental milestone that all children need to achieve.
Such “pro-social” lying shows that kids have developed sympathy and empathy, which are important aspects of social communication, says Professor Talwar. Her revealing hidden-camera tests with children show that fibbing is part of normal brain development.
So if lying starts as normal, when are white lies no longer white? Is the current political trend of “misspeaking” something less than lying? Is bluffing OK? White lies have no place on the reality game show Moment of Truth but wouldn’t one be preferable to admitting the truth on national television that you’d prefer to be married to someone other than your spouse?
Tell us what you think: At what point do white lies start to yellow? Can lying ever be responsible? Do we need to go cold turkey on white lies and learn to value the truth?
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little whit lies
i do not agree with telling little white ies, they lead to bigger lies that can ultimately damage the integrity of the teller and the one it is told to.
shirley a. scott walker | 6 months ago
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How I tell my children the truth about santa & oth
I feel it is very healthy indeed for children to have their own beilfs. and when they ask me, I tell them just that. “If you beileve it will be real to you, and that’s ok” I tend to let them decide for themselves. When they ask me if I think he’s real, or any others, I tell them what I think. For me that’s the best way to deal with that, cause I’m not lying, and I’m not taking away from their imagination, or their rights to believe in what they want, rather it’s God, santa or the toothfairy. I only know what’s real for me not for them. and thats the truth.
Jessie | 5 months, 1 week ago
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ms.
Telling a white lie to cover for another is not right. When a person tells you that is not going though with what his intentions were and then goes back on this word and tells you something to cover his lie what is that
tania zubchenok | 4 months, 3 weeks ago
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now i know the truth
i always knew santa was fake, but this just prooves it thanx
dfhbjzdjhb | 4 months, 2 weeks ago
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beccasmom4321
Lies ARE NEVER OK “White” or not! Don’t you know that in the Bible(the ninth commandment) it clearly says,“Thou Shalt NOT lie” and Ex.20:16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
It is clear in black and white. No if ands or buts about it. You shouldn’t lie period. A lie is a lie is a lie. “white” or not it’s STILL lie.
Deuteronomy 10:4, Exodus 35:1 and “do not lie” Leviticus 19:11
No one is perfect. We ALL have fall short of the glory of God,(Romans 3:23) but if we ask for forgiveness he WILL forgive us!(1 John1:9)
If we lie we should ask God to simply forgive us and NEVER do it again.
For even a small lie can grow big and hurt someone even more.
Holly | 4 months, 2 weeks ago
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White Lies
I think it’s rediculous that anyone would consider Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, etc. to be a lie! Why do we feel we have to analyze everything regarding children? Is it so wrong to continue with an age-old tradition simply for the fun of having the tradition rather than making everything out to be so black and white? When I was a kid, my mother was adament about not allowing my siblings and I to talk to strangers. Back then, child abduction was not as easy as it is today. Maybe teaching parents the importance of enforcing that rule is a bit more important than worrying about whether or not the Santa Claus fantasy is harmful.
Bridget Whitely | 3 months, 3 weeks ago
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santa is not real
Santa is a mith so do not bleave it.People just whant us to bleave so thay can get mony.
jade wineglass | 3 months, 2 weeks ago
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The Christmas Holiday
Once upon a time theire was a santa clause and he always went around at night going inside peoples houses and gave kids presents and sometimes some people for Christmas have to get cole because they are bad some times and santa clause and God does not apprishiate that so people better start being good
Skylhar Kyrene Batchelor Pickett | 3 months, 1 week ago
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LIAR
LIAR
mikhaela lumingkit | 3 months, 1 week ago
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why?
why do you say this i mean just beacuase we are grown ups dos,nt mean we cant beleive in santa
haitia | 3 months, 1 week ago
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