The Nanny Diaries
On a hot afternoon in New York City, my friend Miriam was sitting at a grassy public venue, watching her child play alongside other kids in the care of various moms and nannies.
A long-time New York resident, Miriam is fully aware of the city’s urban imperative: mind your own business.
But she couldn’t help but notice the crying of a nearby baby, approximately nine months old, strapped in his stroller facing the sun, while his nanny ignored him and chatted with another nanny.
The minutes passed…5…10…15…the baby’s skin got redder, the crying persisted, and the nanny’s only response was to periodically bark, “Shh! Be quiet!” while brusquely shaking the baby’s stroller.
And that is when Miriam decided she had to do something: she had to stop minding her own business.
In New York, where the number of scary nanny stories surpasses the number of scary subway stories, an increasing number of citizens are posting reports about bad nanny behavior on a blog called I Saw Your Nanny.
The posts—complete with date, time, location, physical descriptions of nanny and child, and sometimes a cell phone photo—will stop the heart of any parent who recognizes his or her nanny or child: I saw your nanny …grabbing your boy by the ear and twisting him…mistreating and roughly handling your 3-5 year old girl…fell asleep right on the bench where she was sitting with her back to your son.
Launched in August 2006, the blog has sparked a debate about the obligations—and limits—of personal responsibility. Critics contend that it’s potentially libelous for strangers to publicly attack a nanny’s professional performance.
But that didn’t stop Miriam from confronting the nanny about the neglected baby. “She told me to mind my own business. Then she started yanking the baby in the stroller. That’s when I told her I was calling 911.”
Aware that NYPD was on its way, the nanny bolted to leave the location, still yelling, “Mind your own business!” Miriam ran ahead of the woman and snapped her picture with her cell phone. But by the time the police arrived, the nanny was gone.
Tell us what you think: When is it right to stop minding your own business and start minding someone else’s? How far would you go in reporting disturbing behavior by a nanny or anyone else?
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The Nanny Diaries
I’m sorry I thought children were angels from heaven. From what I’ve read so far I’m appalled at the actions of some nannies, parents and adults as a whole. Mother’s no longer hold their children’s hands, cell phones receive more attention than children and big cities rules are allowing basic human consideration and compassion take over for rudeness and mind your own business attitude. I applaud your efforts. The animal kingdom have better child rearing skills than us.
lillie durden | 11 months, 4 weeks ago
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Not right
I don’t think this is right. I think she should have gone sooner and called 911 sooner. She did not tell the girl she was calling 911 so she would not leave. I hate when I see kids like that. I have gone though times seeing moms and dads beating their little kids. I even know a mom and dad the killed there 3 month old kid.
amber marie braun | 11 months, 2 weeks ago
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Rude
I think that is unacceptable. If you do that to a child the child will probably suffer serious skin damage. A child has to be watched and feel secure. If you are rude and disrespectful like that you are not cut out to be a nanny. If the parents trust you with there child you should be respectful about there wishes. I think the parents should sue her for being mean, rude, disrupting, damaging, and untrustworthy. YOU SHOULD SERVE JAIL TIME.
mariah scott | 11 months, 1 week ago
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hero
Why would someone being a mother allow another individual to treat a child in that kind of way. I don’t think that any mom would want to deal with the fact that her child is being neglected by someone that isn’t their mom. I know one thing for sure is that I would appreciate the fact that someone else would take consideration in a child of someone else to be safe. I know that if I ever was to be put in that situation I would have done the exact same thing just for the simple fact that I’m against child abusers.
Jeanna | 10 months, 3 weeks ago
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hey
good job!!!
jose | 10 months, 2 weeks ago
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Wow!
This is horrifying to my eyes! How can someone do something so bad to someone so little and fragile! It’s a baby for God sakes not a mutt! If you don’t want to babysit kids, or feed them, change diaper, or rock them to sleep, then why do you even take the job to be a nanny! There are a lot of other jobs out there that are actually suitable for you! Those kinds of people should be locked up for a VERY LONG TIME! It makes me sick just to know that somewhere right now there is a baby, toddler, child, and even a teenager that is being neglected! It breaks my heart to know that someone would want to abuse a helpless and innocent kid! I pray to God that all of those people are giving the choice they deserve!! This is all I have to say!
faith rankin | 9 months, 1 week ago
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Perspective from a Nanny
As a nanny I do not agree with what Miriam did, she might have had a lot going on in her own life and her own kids and she was thinking about that, she might have not spoke English and had no clue what was going on. I think your friend should have not screamed at her but came up to her when she had cooled down cause lets face it she was probably steaming mad, and told the nanny in a calmer tone and come down to her level and offer to help instead of calling the police. If you have ever been to a different country it is a scary thing when someone says police, it does not have the same meaning as America we are free and they are not, but that is kind of besides the point. anyway
Sandra Hyne | 8 months, 3 weeks ago
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the nanny dairais
That’s just crazy. A nanny doesn’t need to do that to a child, especially, a baby.
maddy minson kimberson | 8 months, 2 weeks ago
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a comment
You should never let an adult or anybody mistreat a child. If the child is in danger then you shouldn’t just stand there and let it continue. Only a monster would do that and if you don’t tell them right away, then it would kinda be your fault if anything happened to the baby because you had a perfect opportunity to tell the police or anybody else close, but you didn’t, so it’s your fault. Always tell if you see someone abusing or just mistreating a child. Never ignore it. I don;t care who they are or what they say, like, “mind your own business”. It is your business if the child is being mistreated.
khristal whitaker | 7 months, 3 weeks ago
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Nanny
You would think that the parent would be the best choice, but not always. I love being a Nanny. I have been taken care of children for 20 years. I had a Day Care in my home for 6 years, been a Nanny for 3 families, and tutor children (6-12 year olds), watched all the neighbor’s children, watched all my friend’s and family’s children and my own child (now 10). After watching all these children, close to 200, it still sickens me to the stomach at how the parents (most of them) “raise” their children. Children have repeatedly been given to me wet and leaking (stinky’s too), starving, sleep deprived, bruised all over from beatings, covered in throw up, spit up, sticky food, from head to toe in dirt left from the day before, and crying from being neglected so long their sick. From the three Nanny positions I took I had to report 2 of them to DSS. Children need all of us to protect them. I love every child I have watched and would NEVER hurt them in any way. Just think if these poor children had been left with their SAHM all day instead of having me to give them a break? Some of them would possibly be dead today.
Growing up as a young girl, just about every girl wants to grow up and get married and have children. It’s not till after the children are born that some realize they can’t deal with the pressure all day. It’s not for everyone! Each person has a gift, something they are really good at. Being a Nanny is what I am good at, my gift. If you have a child and know it’s not your gift, but love your child, then there is nothing wrong with having someone else help with the child care. It is wise to seek what is needed for the child then to let it overcome you, till you explode.
If a parent chooses to hire a Nanny I would recommend them having web cams or some kind of video recorder throughout the house that they are being watched in. If you are wise you wouldn’t let the Nanny know about them if they are in your house. Watch them everyday even if you feel the children are safe. Nannies can feel overwhelmed at times too. Also, if at all possible, when your babies are sick, stay home and help the Nanny. This will keep down the stress when a baby seems to need extra attention and cries all day.
One more thing, why is it assumed that the women with the baby in the stroller was a Nanny? She may be the mother! Either way, I think intervening in any way is better then a turned back from those who don’t care. It’s not funny when a Nanny needs help deciding if the parent is lying about the child having a hard fall or if it looks like abuse and everyone around you says they will not even look! It may take only one mother and a father to raise a child in one family, but not all families, MOST need a village of people to watch out for the interest of the children’s safety. We all need to do what ever it takes to protect the children/babies we see in danger. If a person is going to let that poor baby sit in that stroller crying (in broad daylight) instead of picking the baby up and giving him/her love and comforting, there is no chance for that baby when behind closed doors. I think we all need to pray for that baby, who got away.
Nanny Dee | 6 months ago
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