The Nanny Diaries
On a hot afternoon in New York City, my friend Miriam was sitting at a grassy public venue, watching her child play alongside other kids in the care of various moms and nannies.
A long-time New York resident, Miriam is fully aware of the city’s urban imperative: mind your own business.
But she couldn’t help but notice the crying of a nearby baby, approximately nine months old, strapped in his stroller facing the sun, while his nanny ignored him and chatted with another nanny.
The minutes passed…5…10…15…the baby’s skin got redder, the crying persisted, and the nanny’s only response was to periodically bark, “Shh! Be quiet!” while brusquely shaking the baby’s stroller.
And that is when Miriam decided she had to do something: she had to stop minding her own business.
In New York, where the number of scary nanny stories surpasses the number of scary subway stories, an increasing number of citizens are posting reports about bad nanny behavior on a blog called I Saw Your Nanny.
The posts—complete with date, time, location, physical descriptions of nanny and child, and sometimes a cell phone photo—will stop the heart of any parent who recognizes his or her nanny or child: I saw your nanny …grabbing your boy by the ear and twisting him…mistreating and roughly handling your 3-5 year old girl…fell asleep right on the bench where she was sitting with her back to your son.
Launched in August 2006, the blog has sparked a debate about the obligations—and limits—of personal responsibility. Critics contend that it’s potentially libelous for strangers to publicly attack a nanny’s professional performance.
But that didn’t stop Miriam from confronting the nanny about the neglected baby. “She told me to mind my own business. Then she started yanking the baby in the stroller. That’s when I told her I was calling 911.”
Aware that NYPD was on its way, the nanny bolted to leave the location, still yelling, “Mind your own business!” Miriam ran ahead of the woman and snapped her picture with her cell phone. But by the time the police arrived, the nanny was gone.
Tell us what you think: When is it right to stop minding your own business and start minding someone else’s? How far would you go in reporting disturbing behavior by a nanny or anyone else?
Add Comment Share This
Comments
Let's Not Judge
I am a nanny and my husband and I plan to start a family, of our own, in the next two years. I hope to stay home, with our children, but will probably have to care for other children, in our home. As we all know, our economy is weak right now and finances are stretched. Not all families can afford to have a parent (Mom or Dad) stay home or maybe both parents like to work. I have a friend who LOVES her child and LOVES her work. Why shouldn’t she be able to love both? That doesn’t make a stay-at-home parent any better than her or love their child more. I think it is WONDERFUL when a parent can stay home and raise their child but it is not up to you and me to make that decision or to judge them.
Heather | 1 year, 4 months ago
Add Comment | Post Reply
As a nanny...
I am a nanny and I like to think that I treat the children, in my care, as if they were my own. Everyone has their own style of child raising and you might not always agree with what you are witnessing. I think you should mind your own business unless the safety, health, or welfare of the child is in jeopardy. In this case, I think the baby was in jeopordy! As a nanny, I would hope someone would come up to me and make a suggestion, not confront me. I think the nanny, in this case, was being selfish and irresponsible!
Heather | 1 year, 4 months ago
Add Comment | Post Reply
Child neglect/child removal
How long does the guardian have before receiving their children back and what process does it take concerned father of separated family looking for custody of a child neglect and removal case (2) will they give the children back to her? She doesn’t use drugs?
Anonymous | 1 year, 2 months ago
Add Comment | Post Reply
wow
Wow last night I went a child abuse site; it was scary seeing all of those kids. It was very, very sad well, bye
Anonymous | 1 year, 2 months ago
Add Comment | Post Reply
Report
Do you recommend this for a middle school report?
Anonymous | 1 year, 2 months ago
Add Comment | Post Reply
Comment On The Nannies Dairies
So, true to come up to the child abuser with a calm voice and concern over the child(ren). Ask them politely if they can remove the child away from the sun. If they feel you’re interfering with the child(ren’s) businesses. Call a witness and try to stay calm in that type of situation. Criminals love to hide. Like the saying goes “they can run but they can’t hide”. They are cowards in my opinion. Knowing they can take responsibility to be a parent. If something goes wrong they should meet with their consequences when hurting a child. There are no excuses!!
Anonymous | 1 year, 1 month ago
Add Comment | Post Reply
I agree with Miriam
I’m a nanny and the behavior of this nanny was unacceptable. Miriam did the right thing.
Anonymous | 1 year, 1 month ago
Add Comment | Post Reply
How i really would have loved being there
What I really hate about nannies is that when I hear stories about what some of the nannies do, it just tears me up really bad. When and if I ever have a child, I would really have just my family that I know I could trust to watch my kids. I would have really loved to have been there to help that lady tell that nanny she is wrong for not paying attention to that little one.
Anonymous | 1 year, 1 month ago
Add Comment | Post Reply
Society norms
I have three kids. I’ve worked. I’ve stayed at home. I’ve worked from home. It’s all hard. We’ve got it backwards: childrearing isn’t meant to be something done by one tired mom or even one tired nanny. It really does take a village. Women and men should have choices about what they do with their lives. It’s unfair to say if a woman wants a career she’d better use birth control. What about the man? Why does he get both? We shouldn’t be beating each other up for the choice to work inside or outside the home; we should be making sure our kids are safe, happy and protected. We need to do this as a society and together – as families. It’s just too much to expect from one person all the time. And, that’s not really in the caregiver, or the child’s best interest. Unfortunately, our society just isn’t structured for the kind of “village” mindset that is best for us and our children – maybe someday. In the meantime, stop fighting. There are many ways to be a great mom, and many ways to give kids a safe and happy life. Good for Miriam for stepping up to the plate. Maybe she could have handled it better, maybe not. I don’t know as I wasn’t there. At least she did something to speak for the defenseless.
kimberly | 1 year, 1 month ago
Add Comment | Post Reply
BRAVO KINA AND AMY!!!!
My husband and I made the choice for me to stay at home and raise our “OWN” children. When they were school aged, I returned to work at their schools to help with finances. After adopting two more children (older siblings), mom went back home to be a full-time WONDER WOMAN! I applaud all those wonderful parents who are courageous enough to tighten their belts and set their PRIDE and SELF aside, to fully dedicate their time and devotion to home and hearth! Look at the condition of our country?! The number one reason for the downslide in the quality of life and all the crime and terrible statistics that we hear about daily, is the breakup of the traditional home, and moms being away or unavailable to their little ones, whatever their age may be! Keep up the good work fellow stay at home parents, of sacrificing for the most precious gifts on earth, our children! This is the one true way to change our world!
Patty Dowling | 1 year ago
Add Comment | Post Reply
« First < 4 5 6 7 8 > Last » (10 pages)