Posted on September 1, 2008 by Kathy McManus in All, Children, Ethics, Parenting Comments (7)
Summer Camp: Parents Gone Wild?
What do you call someone who’s immersed in summer sleep-away camp, is lonely and annoying, and demands attention from camp personnel almost every day?
A parent.
Worse than poison ivy, today’s camp parents are itching to control every aspect of their children’s daily lives at camp very place meant to teach independence and responsibility away from Mom and Dad.
“It kills them not to know that Johnny’s on the basketball court right now, or in the bathroom, or changing his shirt,” says a camp association executive. “Parents expect a totally different kind of communication than they did years ago.”
And at so-called “high end” sleep-away camps—which charge $10,000 summer “tuition”—parents get special treatment from a “parent coordinator,” one of whom describes her job as “almost like a hotel concierge listening to a client’s needs.”
Those needs often include parents’ demands for instant access to their kids, through webcams, cell phones, texting and email. Some parents try to bypass camp directors entirely by smuggling cell phones to their children in hollowed-out books or sewn into stuffed animals. Camp counselors and administrators—in addition to their primary job of looking after their young charges—spend hours each day taking and posting pictures of kids for their high-maintenance parents.
“I have parents calling and saying they saw their child in the background of a picture of other children and he didn’t look happy, or his face looked red, has he been putting on enough suntan lotion, or I haven’t seen my child and I have seen a lot of other children, is my child so depressed he doesn’t want to be in a picture?” says a long-time camp director.
Why the increase in parents-gone-wild? “Nobody goes to school for how to send your child away from you,” explains a parent liaison, noting that in a post-9/11 world, parents need help to “become independent.” In fact, says another camp director, homesick campers aren’t nearly as big a problem as “kid-sick” parents.
Tell us what you think: Should summer camps return to the days of no cameras, no cell phones, no parents? Do parents have a right to know how their kids are spending their time away from home?
Comments (7)
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Sad days for kids
My father was part of the greatest generation, lived through the depression, farmed, his brother served in WWII as did 2 other uncles. Dad wasn’t much on hugs or saying “I love you…” But I always knew he did. But the greatest lessons from my dad were giving me a strong work ethic and independence. I went to summer camps from 6th grade through middle school. I never heard from them all week and it was great. I never felt neglected because I was too busy having fun and working things out with other campers and camp councilors, who were just a few years older than me.
There is a real danger here when this generation of helicopter parents take it upon themselves to over indulge themselves and their children with this kind of behavior. The danger is a generation of self absorbed kids, who never truly do anything on their own, and who never learn independence. They can’t learn to resolve their problems because the parents always do it for them. One of the worst things about this is the example these parents set for their children, the idea that rules don’t apply to them. I feel sorry for these kids. Great, just what America needs another generation of selfish, dependent children who never really learn to think and truly do on their own.
Ban 'em!
We have sent our son away for three weeks every summer for the last 5 years. While there is some initial trepidation as we drop him off, we are always greeted at the end of the session by a more confident, well-mannered, appreciative, and thoughtful version of the person we “abandoned” three weeks earlier.
Send them away, and then stay out of the way! It works a lot better if you let camp do its work alone.
What is wrong with these parents?
When I was younger, my parents gave me every opportunity they could (within reason) to learn independence. They sent me away to summer camps (granted, they were no longer than 2 week sessions), they put me on planes by myself to visit friends and family, they sent me overseas to explore different cultures, etc. Today, I attempt to do the same with my child. She has been going to resident summer camp for the past 3 years (she’s 10), she’s flown overseas to spend the summer with cousins —she’s learning to be independent. If these parents don’t learn to take a step back and let go, these children are going to be the same ones who can’t fend or think for themselves as they grow into adulthood. Please, let them grow up with a little space.
Freedom from Mom and Dad!
When a child goes to camp, there should be no interaction between the kids and parents except for daily mail and possibly a parents day for the summer long camps. As a former camper and camp staff person, getting the kids to appreciate their freedom was one of our daily challenges. Let the kids be, they will learn for themselves with the guidance of the camp staff what they need to do. If there is a problem, the camp has policies (or better have) to contact the parents.
Camp lover
I’m glad to see everyone thinks camp should mean freedom for kids. Certainly it’s one of the main reasons I like to go to camp—to get away from my parents for a couple weeks and learn how to deal without. Some of the kids at my camp this summer had smuggled in cell phones or iPods, which I think is despicable—especially at a wilderness camp. But hey, if they want to ruin the experience, that’s their problem! Not so much when it’s the interfering parents who are ruining things.
No parents
What are parent teaching their children when they “sneak” cell phones into camp against camp rules? How much time/staff is taken away from providing activities and supervising campers when parents have to handled on the phone or via email? I read about one camp where they actually hired a person as a “parent liaison” to personally handle all the calls/emails. Ridiculous! Children went to camp for years and years without cell phones. They need the freedom and independence from their families – that’s what going to camp is all about!
They arent real bright... are they?
I am sixteen years old, and I have been going to summer camp since I was ten. I have been a camp counselor for the past two years, and I love the whole experience, and the best part (by far) is the independence. I love it, and I don’t think that the kids should have to put up with this kind of attention. Sun burn is all part of camp, and yeah, it’s not all fun, but it will make you stronger.
Let your kids go to camp. Don’t be a helicopter parent – I think was the term. Your kids won’t like it; they won’t have as much fun, and also, I don’t see why you pay 10 grand to send your kid to a high and mighty camp, when they should be sleeping on the ground in a tent, not in a cabin, with electric and a/c. that’s not camping; that’s not even getting away from your parents – that is like being left home with a babysitter while your parents are out of the state.