Second Life: First Divorce?
For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, in…cyberspace?
Does the age-old marriage vow of fidelity need to be updated to make husbands and wives responsible for their behavior online?
Infidelity is “just as painful, whether it’s electronic or physical,” says an expert in how the internet affects relationships. “For awhile there was this impression that as long as it’s online, it doesn’t matter. But research has shown it’s not a separate world.”
In what is said to be the first case of its kind, a woman is now divorcing her husband after catching the animated character he created online having a fictional affair in a computer role-playing game with an animated online character created by a woman he’d never met.
“It’s cheating, as far as I’m concerned,” said the 28-year-old aggrieved wife.
The couple, married for three years and living in England, originally met online as fans of the cyberspace community Second Life, a game in which players create animated fantasy alter egos called avatars, and act out virtual lives with virtual relationships. It was in Second Life that the husband’s avatar strayed, though he says, “I don’t think I was really doing anything wrong.”
That one cartoon character cheating on another cartoon character could trigger a real-life divorce caught the attention of psychologists around the world. A British newspaper reported that counselors had found “an increasing number of people whose real-life relationships were falling apart because of what was happening in their parallel, unreal worlds.”
“If you travel in that territory,” warned a San Diego psychologist, “it is unmapped,
unchartered, unpoliced, unsupervised. Somebody’s going to get hurt…I don’t think that people are fully aware how deeply they can hurt one another with these types of games.”
Tell us what you think: Where does personal responsibility begin and end when it comes to the actions of fictional online characters? Should cheating with an avatar even be considered as grounds for divorce?


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Cyber-cheating dilemma
In that marriage, the wife found it grounds enough for divorce. That IS her right. I can’t say that I would react as such, but I will say I think there were possibly deeper issues in their relationship and that may have been the “straw that broke the camel’s back”. My thoughts are if they found each other in “Second Life” then they were both (or at least one of them) addicted to a surreal life in which they can do what they want without consequence. What was your first clue? But, hey, at least it was with an avatar instead of a friend or someone you may have known!
Anonymous | 1 year, 2 months ago
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Mister
Yes, cheating online is still cheating, hence it’s called cheating online!
Anonymous | 1 year, 2 months ago
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mrs.
I agree; cheating is cheating.
Dot Clerkin | 1 year, 2 months ago
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BAZ
Yes, it’s cheating. Acting out a cartoon fantasy online is just as furtive and disloyal as internet pornography fantasies.
Anonymous | 1 year, 2 months ago
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Divorce
Marriage vows should include to use and abuse, to bore and ignore. That is what it is like in some marriages.
Anonymous | 1 year, 2 months ago
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cheating
I agree that having an affair on the internet is cheating on your relationship and being dishonest
Anonymous | 1 year, 1 month ago
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online cheating
Anything that involves secrets, lying and inconsideration of a partners feelings is a betrayal, hence cheating. If it’s not wrong, why do you hide it? If it is a game as some say, play it with your significant other included.
Anonymous | 1 year, 1 month ago
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Please
This is in no way cheating for gods sake it is a game. If you feel this is cheating then you should have talked this out with your partner/spouse before you MARRIED them.
The problem with online relationships is that you can be whoever you want not who you are. So who you are may be totally different then online. Get a grip America.
Second life is another life not your real life. It is a GAME! Just like Warcraft and others.
Anonymous | 1 year, 1 month ago
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cheating
Personally, I don’t think that we were meant to stay together for long periods of time, we get bored, we need to attract attention and act like it our first romantic encounter.
It may be an ego problem, but we all desire it, the excitement of someone new.
Anonymous | 1 year, 1 month ago
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Cheating
If you compare apples to oranges, calling Cheating in SecondLife, is like calling it murder in Warcraft. But normally, if someone is having an online affair, something is missing in their real life. Thus, it is just as painful as a real life affair. You would be surprised how much these affairs do move in to the real world.
In retrospect, I wouldn’t call it cheating, but can be seen as a prelude to an affair.
Anonymous | 1 year, 1 month ago
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