Safe Haven: Parents’ Bailout?
Parent’s fantasy: leave your unruly child with someone else and walk away for awhile.
Parent’s reality: leave your unruly child with someone at a hospital in Nebraska, and walk away forever, with no legal consequence.
Every state in America has a so-called “safe haven” law, under which a troubled parent can safely surrender a newborn baby, usually at a hospital or fire station, no questions asked.
But Nebraska’s safe haven law is different. Intended to protect only infants, it was written with the word “child” left undefined and without an age limit, opening a gaping legal loophole for an unprecedented human bailout.
Since the law took effect in July, at least 30 children—almost all between the ages 8 and 18—have been dumped in Nebraska hospitals by parents or guardians who say they can no longer cope with their kids. “According to the law, the abandonments are legal, and the parents cannot be held criminally responsible.”
One desperate widower dropped off nine of his children at a local hospital, then left. Other parents traveled long distances to legally ditch their kids in Nebraska, including the mother of a delinquent 12-year-old boy, who drove 1,000 miles from their home in Georgia. “I ran out of fight,” she said, after abandoning her son. “I ran out of hope.”
Authorities were stunned. “I think they’re just irresponsible people who are not very caring for their kids,” pronounced one state senator. But others saw the situation as a serious wakeup call about the increasing needs of struggling families. “They are desperate people, in a spot,” said another senator, “and don’t know where to turn.”
Tell us what you think: Should parents have the legal right to abandon a child—and their own responsibility—because of behavioral or other problems? Is abandonment a better option than abuse? Does Nebraska’s safe haven law protect children or contribute to their neglect?
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Safe Haven: Ohana means family and in Nebraska ...
People have found a way to make any solution in this country a problem. While this legislation seemed perfectly altruistic in its inception, its rules have certainly been skewed to a disturbing end. Giving people a legal “out” of an imperfect parenthood was NOT what this law is meant for, and it’s certainly not something that I intend on PAYING TAXES for.
In Nebraska, the “safe haven” law is rapidly becoming a law to allow parents to stop being parents because it is inconvenient or undesirable. MOST of the children abandoned in Nebraska were NOT infants. They were teens or preteens, which is old enough to start taking care of themselves, and at about the age where parenting would be the most difficult. Even if you were given an extremely troubled child, do you think abandoning him would be the best move? That is not in line with the belief that parents would only do this if it were in the child’s best interest. What is in place to stop parents from saying “I can’t get this child to behave like I believe a good child should behave? I am not equipped to handle him,” and drop him off at the nearest Nebraska hospital? Situations like this only escalate. The more we allow this to continue, the more immune we become to the magnitude of the wrong. In a while, parents will start to tell their children “Behave or I won’t keep you.” Is that how we’ll define families in this country? People that can stand to be around each other until the children are too old to abandon?
It just seems to be another consequence of the selfish nature of today’s society, especially in this country. Everyone wants what they want with zero responsibility. They want sex, no kids. They want kids, just not when they misbehave. They want a family, but they don’t want to take the time to get that family to work.
To make matters worse, the political leaders in this country choose to sympathize rather than hold their constituents responsible for their actions. Heaven knows, they still need to get re-elected. Lately it seems like we are so busy sympathizing, we forget that people can, in fact, be WRONG and in violation of some very major and basic moral laws.
And if people don’t agree with that, every citizen might at least agree that they don’t want their tax money to go towards raising someone else’s kid.
The bottom line is if you choose to be a parent, you have to accept that you actually have to take care of (AND YES THAT MEANS KEEP) them even when they won’t (and oh yeah, they won’t) listen to you. And if you don’t want to do that, it’s very simple: DON’T BECOME A PARENT.
amber quiambao roseo | 1 year ago
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Not that I agree ...
Not that I agree with child abandonment, but as a nurse that sees the consequences both immediate and long term of child abuse/neglect, I would rather a parent forfeit their rights/abandon their child than abuse/neglect the child because they are at their wit’s end and do not have the resources/social support required to properly handle their stresses. Please note that any parent facing too much stress, not knowing where they can turn, and might even harm their child, can call Child Protective Services and get the help needed. CPS’s goal is not to take kids away from their families, but to support families by finding them the help they need. Too often though, CPS is called after the fact.
gal123 | 1 year ago
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I am surprised there have not been more
There has been some discussion under another topic that has drawn some interesting comments, many of which could be applied here…
http://www.responsibilityproject.com/blog/post/criminalizing-motherhood-whos-to-judge/
How many of the children that have been dropped off will be better off now than they were before?
How many of them will be subject to harm now that they have been dropped off?
How many of these children were from planned pregnancies where both parents were willing and ready to be parents?
I am very surprised there have not been more children dropped off.
Vix | 1 year ago
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I am also surprised there have not been more
Abandoning an infant within 3 days of birth is one thing.
Abandoning an older child is quite another and there should be consequences for the abandoner.
If the U.S. has ever needed a population policy, it is now. (Nine kids!!! There must be cognitive dissonance involved with the stress.)
Cecily | 1 year ago
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maybe its better
I do believe the law protects children. Those children could be getting abused or be without food. Sometimes those kids are better with other people than their own parents.
betty | 1 year ago
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Safe haven for kids
From what I have read and seen on an in-depth news story, these children that have been “abandoned” were mentally unstable. The parents, fearing for the safety of their other children, the community and themselves, after seeking help from other sources, felt that they had no choice. Anyone who has had a mentally unstable family member can understand the desperation these parents faced. The system failed them and the child(ren) they abandoned.
Clairehlk | 12 months ago
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I also have also followed ....
Yes, I also have also followed this and that is correct. My daughter has 4 children and the 4th child was born with cerebral palsy. He has such a temper that is really scary. I have done research looking for placement for this child. As he grows she won’t be able to control him. Also he demands so much attention that the other children are starting to feel left out. It is wearing my daughter and me out. The father bailed on her after the birth of this child and he demanded so much attention.
Anonymous | 10 months, 1 week ago
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Law changed
The law was changed now up to 30 days old children can be left. Why do these parents not give up the children for adoption rather than leave them?
I would like to see some form of mandatory parenting classes in high school (early in high school) perhaps even some sort of community service at a children’s hospital??
Vix | 12 months ago
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Reality ... what a concept
I had the good or bad fortune, depending on how you look at contact with reality, of working in a few juvenile detention facilities. Safe Haven incidents are a symptom of a real problem that we all live with every day. Most of us, however, are unaware.
I agree with the folks who said it is probably the lesser of several evils for a parent to drop a child at a site where they will be guaranteed a helping hand. But the reality is that for every parent that gives up, there are several who don’t and who see it through. More than that, as we speak there are countless teens out there placing themselves and their resulting children at risk.
Misfortune can strike any family. But, having said that, I think we have to go back to one of the questions raised in another blog that is the conscious decision to have children and all the related issues attached to it. I’ll mention again that I think education, starting at an early age (based on the number of 18 year olds I have encountered who already have 2 or more children) is the only real long term solution. I sincerely hope to see the educational systems deal directly with this problem in a sensitive, ethical and effective way in my lifetime.
Anonymous | 10 months, 2 weeks ago
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Better Left Than Dead
With, or without Safe Havens, children are and have been abandoned and even killed. I was abandoned as a small child and left to fend for myself and younger siblings, until a relative rescued us. Why do we have so many homeless teens and foster care agencies? Nebraska allows for this to be done, safely and responsibly. The rest of the country should allow for this. Less children would be left to the streets.
Lucy Aponte | 9 months ago
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