Parents Gone Wild: Time Out for Soccer?
When parents act irresponsibly, should they get a time-out?
A group of soccer parents in Bethesda, Maryland was recently ordered away from the game and exiled to a nearby hill, where they needed binoculars to see their daughters play.
The banishment was punishment for the adults’ “unsportsmanlike” conduct at a Washington Area Girls Soccer League match, where a parent loudly accused a referee of making a bad call. The league has levied fines against parents in the past for over-the-top behavior, but some have simply paid the money without lowering the volume.
So when the parent raised his voice at the ref, and others piled on in an “aggressive” tone that culminated with one yelling at the referee’s daughter, “Your father should be fired,” the league’s disciplinary committee deemed that collective punishment was in order. All parents of girls on the Bethesda Legacy team were sidelined to the hill for two games, guarded by an additional ref who made sure none ventured within 100 yards of the playing field.
“For parents to be shrieking on the sidelines and belittling people goes against everything we’re trying to do,” said the league president. “It’s not acceptable behavior.” The disciplinary committee’s report noted that parents’ “egregious” behavior has “no place in youth sports.”
Chastised parents were tight-lipped. “It’s embarrassing,” said one. “This is seventh grade soccer.”
“We’ve got to shut up and keep going,” said another. “You just have to sit on the sidelines and not say anything.”
But some questioned this latest entry into the parental playbook. “Since when did it become a crime to yell at the referees for a bad call?” a Bethesda resident wrote in a letter to the newspaper editor. “In my view, parents are simply expressing their passion.”
Tell us what you think: Is it irresponsible for parents to yell at their kids’ referee? Where do you draw the line between expressing “passion” and unsportsmanlike behavior? In this case, does the crime fit the collective punishment?
For information about creating positive sports experiences for kids, log on to ResponsibleSports.com. Sponsored by Liberty Mutual, the site offers parents and coaches tips, tools, and advice designed to help maximize their kids’ youth sports experience. Parents can also take part in online discussions, asking questions and sharing experiences about how best to help kids apply the life lessons of sports—on and off the field. Because, as The Home Run reminds us, there’s more to the game than winning.
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Slinger High School Varsity Coach
Instead of hollering at the referees, or deeming it a right, why don’t the parents, fans, cheer on their kids. Why don’t they come up with some tame, 7th Grade appropriate cheers, chants, songs like what is done in Europe?
Some imagination needs to be displayed, and stay away from the Ole, Ole chant … be creative.
Best Wishes,
Jim Rasmussen
James Rasmussen | 9 months ago
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Good Parenting = Setting Good Examples
It’s really not very funny when something like this happens. However, after the fact, we get a little chuckle about those who are the parents who misbehave and expect people to take them seriously. Realizing that the parents set the example for the next generation of parents, the reality of good and bad parental behavior really hits home.
Natasha Call | 8 months, 2 weeks ago
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I think the punishment was too lenient. This behavior should be stopped in its tracks, it has no place in youth sports. he game is for the kids. Parents have no business interfering. There are adult coaches there, with clear procedures on how to communicate with the referees.
Alan Kleymeyer | 8 months, 2 weeks ago
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Is it a disorder?
Is there a name for what I believe to be a disorder where as the parent is reliving their own sports undertakings whether it is grade school, high school or college through their child’s?
Dave Matteson | 8 months ago
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Great School Fundraiser!
Change has arrived in fundraising. I came across a website www.raisewhileyousave.com (RWYS) the other day when looking into Green fundraising oppurtunities, as I am fed up with my kids going door 2 door and selling cookie dough and magazines. I looked into this new fundraising program which is helping parents Save Money while raising money.they are also helping great causes which don’t have any budget to run a fundraiser, as they do all the work for you, by building you a webpage attached to thier website. Thier products are these really snazzy energy saving product kits, which can save parent $100’s of dollars on those bills we all hate to open. I thought I would share this information as we could all do with a little extra cash during this economy Im sure. My friend who is a PTA mom is always complaining about the difficulty of getting new ideas, and the lack of interest they have in the same old boring fundraising oppurtunities. I think this is very clever, as the schools and community fundraisers, don’t purchase anything, the kids don’t need to do anything, the kits save money and help raise money, and apparently they even send the kits out to the parents home, so PTA moms like my friend no longer need to chase moms around the playground to tell them thier products are in the sports hall for collection. we’ve all been there. :)
Kim R. | 5 months, 3 weeks ago
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shanna
I agree with the punishment. We have so many problems in society with children now a days acting with no manners such as cussing at 80 year old adults and teachers and even their own parents I am disgusted at the behavior. Granted it may not be all kids, but I see it more and more everyday in the schools and even in the college my husband works at. Being a parent it scares me hearing what these kids are doing and saying now. AS well as seeing several parents confronted with their childrens behavior and their reactions OH MY GOD! One trying to buy his kids way out of trouble, another cussing and swearing violence on teachers and coaches. Children even telling teachers they can do what they want because that is why their parents pay them for at 5 years old. This is considered a top rate neighborhood as well. I agree with the punishment because parents are acting like children more and more these days and should be embaressed by their behavior. The world is truely corrupted.
shanna deshotel | 5 months ago
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Parents Gone Wild
I believed that the parent didn’t do the right things. Because they should no disturb the referee. If their child hurt because of the referee they should talk to the couch of their child. So, the couch can talk to the referee about the child. If the referee made mistake and give yellow card to their children the sport federation can fire the referee. Anyways if the referee do something about the game, the parent should not disturb the game. some people want to enjoy the game. so, they should quiet and watch the game.
Lucho fayisso | 4 months, 4 weeks ago
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From the cardholders
I ref youth rec league soccer. In a recent REC LEAGUE tournament I had three parents from the same team come up to me asking why I didn’t call every shoulder to shoulder challenge. Also during the game I advised a player to be careful at his slide tackling (they were only 9 or 10yrs old) since he didn’t really have great talent in doing so. His mom wanted to know why I was taking him aside and didn’t care when I told her it was for safety. After getting their two cents in they told me not to quit my day job. Really? Really? I don’t show up to their places of work and tell them what I think is wrong do I? I just smiled and told them to have a great day at the tournament :) It turns out that another ref had the same problems later on that day and that this out of town team was used to getting everything called for them.
I’m a grown man and can take whatever they have to say because honestly to me soccer parents like this don’t exist. When you have a young ref who is intimidated then it is no wonder we are short on refs every year. Lead by example Mom and Dad, no matter how much you want to protect little Susy.
Mark Ruddy | 3 weeks, 4 days ago
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