Parenting or Spying: Who’s Watching The Kids?
If you electronically monitor every website your kids view, secretly read all their instant messages, filter their TV viewing, restrict their incoming and outgoing calls, and track their movements by GPS devices lurking in their backpacks and cell phones, are you parenting, or spying?
Spying, and proud of it, say parental proponents of stealth, who insist that protecting their children has no limits. “If I’m responsible for their actions, then I should be able to snoop,” says a mother in Tennessee. A Texas mom is point-blank: “I have made it perfectly clear there is no privacy in my house.”
And no difficulty violating it. Just a single piece of spy ware makes subterfuge simple, allowing parents to view everything their kid does online, including both sides of IM conversations. Parents who don’t like what they see can secretly shut down the kid’s computer by remote, then blame it on a mysterious network problem.
“I can see why some people worry that parents will become too controlling,” says a Texas father of five, “but I’ve found that technology actually lets you give kids more freedom.” By controlling what his kids do and see, he says, he hopes to “eliminate” the possibility that they’ll make bad decisions that could bring lasting harm.
Care or control? Insight or intrusion? The debate continues, especially in the increasingly popular grade-tracking programs that allow parents almost hourly access to their child’s progress in school, with the cooperation of teachers. Depending on the software, parents can check test and homework grades, disciplinary notices, attendance, missed assignments, and their child’s daily class ranking, on command.
A Georgia mother who used to incessantly check her child’s school progress by logging on each day at 6AM, has re-thought her dependence on electronically tracking every aspect of her daughter’s daily life. “It speaks to all your neuroses as a parent, all this need to control, that pressure to make sure everything is perfect,” she said. “How are these kids going to learn to be responsible adults?”
Tell us what you think: Should parents use technology to monitor their kids? Is it parenting, spying, responsible, or something else?
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Comments
Having "Network Troubles"?
Whether or not children have a right to privacy from their family, the idea that parents can shut down their children’s internet access and lie about the cause is deeply disturbing: perhaps there are occasions where it’s OK for a parent to lie to his or her child, but doing so to keep your snooping a secret certainly isn’t one of them.
Besides which, shutting down a computer doesn’t address whatever concern the parent has with the child’s behavior.
So come on, Mom and Dad, sit your kids down and have an honest discussion.
—The Moral Guy
http://themoralguy.blogspot.com
The Moral Guy | 1 year, 4 months ago
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I agree
I agree with The Moral Guy. Parents should be honest with their kids instead of covering up their snooping.
Furthermore, what if the parents let their kids know that they were being monitored? Wouldn’t that give the kids more reason to behave responsibly?
There are also ways parents can monitor their kids, like while they drive. Using bumper stickers or cameras provided by companies, the parents are notified by the company.
What about in the office? Some bosses utilize similar programs to monitor their employees. Is there much of a difference in the employer/employee and parent/child snooping?
Vivian | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Teach Responsibility
I raised daughters during the time when the motto was ‘give them space’ and agreed that children need space and a place to call their own. I also taught them that they are trusted until such time as they show me that they cannot be trusted.
In this day of ‘helicopter moms’ and tracking devices we need to be very careful not to raise children in a way that they are unable to make a decision or to understand what responsibility is.
It’s sad that we give our children the gifts of newest technology and cannot raise them to be and feel trusted.
TerryB0521 | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Totally ridiculous
I think tracking down all of your kids moves are totally ridiculous. To some extent, parents should know what their child is doing and spying through them 24/7 is NOT the way to do it. Your child will fall further and further behind you while not trusting you. Have a talk with your kids; don’t just sit there and spy on them.
amber | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Yea I agree
If you want to know what your kids are doing just asking them. Don’t spy on them because that would just teach your kids not trust you and it would mess up the parent child relationship. If you’re comfortable enough with your child then she/he will tell you the truth.
leila hedili | 1 year, 4 months ago
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I agree
I agree with Amber. I think that keeping track of what we would is totally stupid. How do parents want us to trust them when they don’t trust us? I think that parents should really just take time to talk with their kids and have things right – that they have mutual trust. If I found out that my parents were spying on me, I would be so angry at them. Parents should take this in consideration. We need are space and privacy too.
jocelyn | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Correct
This guy or female is correct about the way parents should watch their kids. So you should sit your kids down and talk to them instead of spying on them. If the kids find out that could make your relationship worse.
Mr. IDK | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Brain Dead Citizens, Lunatic Parents
Just because George Bush and company have taken away our civil rights doesn’t mean it is right. The people of this country are sheep. They give up their rights, think it’s okay and then burden their children with the same nonsense.
Spying on your kids will send the behavior you don’t like underground. Expect a backlash. This country has more pathology than I thought. This is sick stuff.
Ann | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Its Not Right
I don’t think it is right because all kids should just have a good life not having their parents spying on them. Kids should just have their freedom and not have to worry about being watched 24/7. Their parents need to grow up.
HaHa | 1 year, 4 months ago
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It's just wrong
What is the point of watching your kids? You’re supposed to let kids make mistakes and let them learn from it. Would you want someone to spy on you ever day of your life?
jose | 1 year, 4 months ago
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