Octuplets: Mother of All Issues
America’s latest responsibility riddle is defined by simple math and compounded by complex issues:
1 single mother
8 newborn octuplets
14 total offspring
15 minutes of fame
From miracle mom to mother of all outrage, Nadya Suleman’s spectacular fall from public grace continues in an avalanche of revelations: disability, inability, food stamps, no job, no spouse, and no viable plan for raising 14 children under the age of eight.
The responsibility dragnet snared her fertility specialist—at a clinic now under government scrutiny—and settled squarely on Ms. Suleman, who declared in a TV interview that she is a responsible parent, even though California taxpayers have been asked to pay the million dollar-plus hospital bill for her eight preemies.
“I personally do not believe I’m irresponsible,” Ms. Suleman said. “Everything I do revolves around my children.” Saying she was a single parent by choice, she questioned a perceived double standard between her unconventional lifestyle and that of couples who experience multiple births. “Why are they exempt from being called irresponsible?” she asked.
Selfish. Unstable. Irresponsible. The opinions continue to pour in by the thousands on talk shows and blogs, in headlines and on the street: Put her in therapy. Change the laws. Take her kids away. In a season of Wall Street bailouts, a Sesame Street bailout for the 14 kids of America’s mega-mom has not only angered many people, but, as one journalist put it, “exposes how publicly divided and personally judgmental we are” about the reproductive decisions of others and the question of how many children is too many.
“The ‘right’ number seems to lie somewhere between China and Nadya Suleman,” wrote another journalist. “But on what do we base that belief? The ability to pay for the children? The limits on the attention they will receive? How many is too many, and who gets to decide?”
Tell us what you think: Is there such a thing as too many children? Other families receive welfare, food stamps, and disability payments for their children; should Nadya Suleman be held to a different standard? Should Ms. Suleman’s reproduction—usually a private matter of personal responsibility—be the subject of such public debate?
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Money dont buy 1 on 1 time
I am a mother of 2 sets of twins 2 1/2 and 3 1/2. I am going to tell you it is not impossible to take care of so many children if they are spaced out, or you have a LOT of help. But Nannies, money, toys that does not give the unconditional love and one on one time spent with a mother. I think if she wanted to have all her “frozen babies” she should have waited until after she finished school and had a job. She has 6 small children at home which is already a full time job, especially with two MRDD children. I know because I have an MRDD child. The question isn’t can she take care of them….Because I am sure once all is said and done she will have a house and a lot of money. She can buy a maid, housekeeper, nanny, butler…Whatever it may be. The question is how is she going to give ALL 14 small children the adequate love, and commitment that it takes to be a Good Mommy. Bath time and getting your child dressed is a mothers job…14 small children there is 6 hours easy. Someone would have to be on hand to do laundry 24/7. If she had everything together like Jon & Kate plus 8, hey, maybe she could do it. But she knew she was having multiple babies and living with her mother in there 2/3 bedroom home with 6 other children. She should have been thinking about what she was going to do way before NOW.
Tonya | 1 year ago
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mom of twins
I know the struggle of infertility. I fostered my two sets of twins before adopting them. Fostering doesn’t mean they will always leave. Don’t give up on your dream to have a baby even through adoption. I agree the babies are here now and they are what is important. But if Nadya cannot give them the life they deserve shouldn’t she allow someone else to do so? I would never want someone to lose their children. But you are talking about what is best and the talk of the babies going into foster has been brought up. I know that in the system no one can take all 8 babies. I just pray that if those little Angels do go into the system the system is smart enough to keep them together 2×2 at least and they get to see each other once a week min. I do believe that Nadya did this for the money. I think she is trying to play us all for fools. But you are right the babies are what matters. So what is best for them? If she doesn’t get all the money she has planned and everything, how is she going to feed, cloth, one on one time, educate, and everything else that comes with being a mommy to 14 children?
tonya | 1 year ago
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MRS
I agree with the statement above regarding wanting more children and not being able too financially. I have four children and would love more, but we just cant do it financially. It is wrong to bring children into this world and not even be able to supply them the basics. It is a very selfish stunt she did. So are we saying I can have as many children as I want and depending on you the tax payer to support me and them. I do not think so.
Soteloclan | 1 year ago
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Responsibility
Choosing to be a parent is a personal choice and a personal responsibility. Whether you have 1 or 8, expecting others to pay for your decision is irresponsible. Most of the time, children are not planned. The reason people are so hard on the 14-child single mother is because she literally planned and chose to be pregnant 7 times at taxpayers expense.
Ruth | 1 year ago
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She put her own needs first
The comments I’ve read here keep talking about how she loves her children, but love is not just words. Love is seen in actions and in sacrifice. Ms. Suleman was not thinking of her six children, three disabled, when she gave birth to eight more; she was thinking of her own needs. She was not thinking of her parents, who are clearly exhausted and financially depleted. Her choice to become pregnant again when she has no adequate source of income, no partner, and she must have known that her mother was way behind in the mortgage payments shows a level of irresponsibility that to me indicates she shouldn’t be taking care of a puppy, let alone a human being, let alone fourteen of them. I’m sure she’s a very nice person, but she is too self-absorbed and irresponsible to be parenting.
Lisa in San Francisco | 1 year ago
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She can't afford to pay her bills
She can’t afford to pay her bills nor does she have a job, but she can pay for fake nails….come on people.
ginny | 1 year ago
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Who are we to judge
I agree that it probably was not a good idea to have so many children. I am a mother of four and it is rough to provide for them and we work hard. I also am a firm believer that God only gives you what you can handle. Who are we to judge? Yes, she is probably on government support, but so are many other individuals who have multiple children and I don’t see you making a stink about that. Unless you know her personally and know that she is an unfit parent, let her raise her children to the best of her ability. I am sure after all this publicity – the social workers will be watching her closely.
H | 1 year ago
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Unethical and irresponsible
Nadya Suleiman is senseless and shameless. She has no right to burden the taxpayers of this country. Why don’t we ship her off along with her brood of 14 to any country that is willing to offer her asylum?
Irani | 1 year ago
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Too late now
I think that this probably should not have happened but it did. So we live and learn maybe put a few laws in place about not letting people on welfare implant 8 eggs social security is different than welfare. I however don’t think that being on Social security i.e. disability should stop families from having kids but limiting the amount of eggs implanted seems responsible.
I do feel that being able to carry weight babies and have them all survive is a medical miracle. This woman seems to love her children and takes good care of them so I don’t think that is a problem. It’s done and over let’s just move on there are plenty of woman out there that just keep having kids that do not love them that are on drugs or drink and live on welfare and we just keep paying for them so what difference is one more at least they will be well cared for.
Di | 1 year ago
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I just have to say
I just have to say what people are saying about this woman are cruel and unfair. Did anyone judge Jon and Kate Plus 8? What about the other reality show with the woman who has 17?
You shouldn’t have to have a man to have love and support for your children. I must say I am a little scared for her! I have three: ages 7, 5, and one almost a year. Its nuts they all want your attention especially when they see the other one getting attention. What will she do at 3 in the morning when one wakes up and the seven others get woken up screaming to all be fed at once? The other children will end up sleep deprived. Hopefully there will be churches that will support her especially since they are the ones that push for you not to use any form of birth control no matter how many you have.
I do feel for her. I feel she has what she wants and loves these children but will there honestly be enough of her to go around. And she needs to pray for patience every night one baby whining and crying is enough to make my head spin I can only imagine eight! I hope she really realizes how chaotic her life will be. Just to go somewhere wit diaper bags bottles strollers how will she take a stroll in the park? How will she afford diapers? 1 bag of 44 cost $15.00! $15.00x’s8! That’s what approximately $120.00 every two weeks or $240.00 every month!
kristen | 1 year ago
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