Octuplets: Mother of All Issues
America’s latest responsibility riddle is defined by simple math and compounded by complex issues:
1 single mother
8 newborn octuplets
14 total offspring
15 minutes of fame
From miracle mom to mother of all outrage, Nadya Suleman’s spectacular fall from public grace continues in an avalanche of revelations: disability, inability, food stamps, no job, no spouse, and no viable plan for raising 14 children under the age of eight.
The responsibility dragnet snared her fertility specialist—at a clinic now under government scrutiny—and settled squarely on Ms. Suleman, who declared in a TV interview that she is a responsible parent, even though California taxpayers have been asked to pay the million dollar-plus hospital bill for her eight preemies.
“I personally do not believe I’m irresponsible,” Ms. Suleman said. “Everything I do revolves around my children.” Saying she was a single parent by choice, she questioned a perceived double standard between her unconventional lifestyle and that of couples who experience multiple births. “Why are they exempt from being called irresponsible?” she asked.
Selfish. Unstable. Irresponsible. The opinions continue to pour in by the thousands on talk shows and blogs, in headlines and on the street: Put her in therapy. Change the laws. Take her kids away. In a season of Wall Street bailouts, a Sesame Street bailout for the 14 kids of America’s mega-mom has not only angered many people, but, as one journalist put it, “exposes how publicly divided and personally judgmental we are” about the reproductive decisions of others and the question of how many children is too many.
“The ‘right’ number seems to lie somewhere between China and Nadya Suleman,” wrote another journalist. “But on what do we base that belief? The ability to pay for the children? The limits on the attention they will receive? How many is too many, and who gets to decide?”
Tell us what you think: Is there such a thing as too many children? Other families receive welfare, food stamps, and disability payments for their children; should Nadya Suleman be held to a different standard? Should Ms. Suleman’s reproduction—usually a private matter of personal responsibility—be the subject of such public debate?
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I am saddened for the children. I have a set of triplets that arrived from in vitro fertilization. When my ex husband and I were going through treatments before we began, our doctor, Joseph Garza, San Antonio gave us a book on his requirements before we began. First Thing: Married couples only! My doctor only implanted 3 fertilized eggs and all 3 took. He would not do more than that. I became a single mother 10 years later with another baby added to my family. Let me tell you that is when it got hard. No money, no help, and then I had to go back to work. I just feel so much for the children. Something is very wrong with this picture. I think the doctor who implanted all of these eggs should go to jail and have his license taken away. I believe all the children need as much help as possible. It is not their fault they have an irresponsible mother. The doctor should help support those children.
Renee | 8 months, 4 weeks ago
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I'd Like to Help Nadya and all her Children
I must be the only person who thoroughly understands Nadya. What I don’t understand is people who cannot see that the only issue at this point is, “How can I help”. You see, .the babies are here now! I wish I could meet and get to know this mom. I’d let her know my infertility struggles. The heartache of being alone and desire to be a mom or a sibling or just a family of my own. I’d be willing to move in and help her and love those babies with her. I’ve fostered parented teens and their child(ren) in my home for many years. Fostering means that they always leave. I just wish Nadya could contact me and we get those children home with their own mom and family.
Lyn | 8 months, 4 weeks ago
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Unthinkable
It is difficult enough to raise children when a family has the financial means, but to knowingly continue to have children that you cannot possibly afford is an unthinkable act of selfishness and irresponsibility, whether it’s one child or 14 children.
Naomi | 8 months, 4 weeks ago
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Life
I understand everyone’s reaction to this women who has all these kids. I don’t believe separating these kids from their family is the right answer. We all make decisions in life.
People are calling her selfish but we are all selfish to some degree. This isn’t an uneducated women. Children need to be with their family, if she needs help keeping them together everyone should think that about what if it was their children being taken away? How would you feel? We shouldn’t judge, God doesn’t give you more then you can handle and always provides for us.
Maybe her getting all this attention is God’s way of saying help. Instead of being part of the problem, lets try being a part of the solution.
Wendy of VA | 8 months, 4 weeks ago
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Irresponsible Twit
She and her doctor should be thrown into jail and the kids should be given up for adoption without a right for reunion. She has been claiming for years that she was too disabled to work, therefore receiving government assistance in a form of disability. She has committed an intentional fraud by extending her disability with her pregnancies. These pregnancies were not natural, but they were intentionally caused by an expensive medical intervention on a taxpayers dollar.
For all those who try to protect her under the veil of god or freedom, you are wrong. The right to freedom is not a right to commit fraud. And she perpetrated fraud upon all of the taxpayers who are married, working and still can only afford one child. I would rather spend extra money on my own child than pay taxes to support her 14 fatherless wrongly conceived children.
MyKidsMom | 8 months, 4 weeks ago
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What a Dumb ...
This dumb girl does not know about being a real mother. I am a single mother, taking great care of my daughter. And it’s sad how this
person brought these babies into the world when she can’t even care for herself, but instead takes advantage of tax payer dollars.”
QueEn Cc | 8 months, 4 weeks ago
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For the Children
Although Nayda’s decision was not smart there are 14 children that still need their mother. I don’t think its right to take children away from a mother unless there is a threat to their life. Yes she is a single mother but, these children should not have to suffer because of the choices that she made. She clearly loves all her kids. People are so worried about her being on welfare and not worried about the effect this will have on the children if they were separated from each other. There are millions of women on welfare that continue to have children that they cannot afford are they being taken away? Yes she will need help, so be it lets give those 14 children a chance at life even if she needs government hand outs.
I’m not saying I agree with her decision but, these children are here.
Stephanie | 8 months, 4 weeks ago
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Amen! I agree with you, it is not for us to judge but to pray for the situation. I do agree that she did not use good judgment, but the deed is done and we cannot undo it.
Fredda | 8 months, 3 weeks ago
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Irresponsible
I have two grown healthy happy children. I wish I could have had two or three more, but I was mature enough to realize I could only care for two financially and afford them the best of health care and education. Emotionally I could have loved 92 but I had a responsibility to provide the best care I could for the children I hoped I could bring into the world. It was my and my husband’s choice to have children so it was our responsibility to make sure the financial burden did not fall on any one who was not included in that decision. Nayda was not only irresponsible, but immature and her decisions are not those of a mentally competent person. The state of California should consider that this mother is not mentally competent to care for 14 children and possibly consider the new 8 should be adopted to people who desperately want children and financially can provide without asking for handouts. What is best for the children is to get them away from a mother who is irresponsible and mentally deficient.
kc | 8 months, 3 weeks ago
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Think about it...
If you put your children in childcare, the law says that children under school age you can only have 3 children to one adult. Why is it ok to have 14 to one? There is no way the children can have the appropriate care and attention they need with one parent. And even if you look at it with the grandparents that’s still roughly five children to three adults.
Kevin | 8 months, 3 weeks ago
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