Mad Mom? Throwing the Kids Out of the Car
Going viral after going ballistic wasn’t on Madlyn Primoff’s mommy-do list.
But the story of the fed-up New York lawyer/mother who kicked her bickering daughters out of the car and onto the curb of a suburban street spread faster than flu, as parents around the world weighed in on whether the action was irresponsible—or irresistible.
“They had it coming. Give her a medal,” was typical of comments in support of Primoff, whose 12-year-old daughter managed to get back in the car, while her 10-year-old—in tears—was picked up by a stranger who bought her ice cream before calling the cops.
The family was three miles from home when Primoff made good on one of parenting’s most oft-repeated threats: Stop fighting or I’ll stop the car! “As a responsible parent, she gave her children a choice,” said another supporter, “and when they ignored her, she followed thru. I say good job!”
But the police said You’re under arrest. Primoff was jailed overnight and charged with endangering the welfare of a minor, an action many supported in online comments. “If the girls were acting up, then punish them when they get home,” wrote one. “You do not leave a child on the side of the road alone. Ever.” Another said, “It’s our job as parents to protect our children…Maybe she should put herself in time-out next time she has a mommy meltdown.”
There’s something larger going on, argued a prominent mom-blogger, who saw Primoff’s actions as a “mommy misdemeanor” and cautioned that her story “should not result in a free-for-all vilification of a mother-gone-bad.” Primoff made a bad choice, she continued, “but should she be condemned to wear a scarlet M? I’m not interested in judging her. I’m more interested in hoping that the public scrutiny fixated upon her will further expose motherhood for the truly complex job that it is.”
Tell us what you think: Were Madlyn Primoff’s actions irresponsible, irresistible, or something else? A “mommy misdemeanor” or a “mommy felony?” Does her right to decide how to deal with her squabbling kids have to conflict with the law?
Add Comment Share This
Comments
Way to go BRAVO
She gave them a choice and followed through. Bravo.
Wyndom | 10 months, 1 week ago
Add Comment | Post Reply
Yes I'm a parent - no stepkids this time
I tell people of any age, and that’s what kids are young people that they can live how they want and do what they want but there can be and most often are consequences for the choices we all make. Brutality is not the answer but neither are time outs. Kids should be raised knowing how the system treats dissidents, and that the tendency to argue and bicker with even family acquaintances can have negative side effects that will haunt them for the rest of their lives. Life is too short for stupidity and arrogance. Keeping it simple, being a “good boy or girl” may seem boring and so unhip and untrendy from what our culture shoves down our throats as kids especially but it’s the smart thing to do. KNOW what your rights and responsibilities are under STATE law, because those are the ones that can ruin your life really bad. I’m not going to say the mother in this case was right or wrong. I’m just going to say that it’s not what you say; it’s how when and where you say it. Life’s a dance for so many, learning as they go.
ghekko the lizard | 10 months, 1 week ago
Add Comment | Post Reply
Bravo!
Bravo to the mother! Too often modern parents worry and fail to follow through with demands! This weakens their position of authority in the home and ruins the family dynamic! Although I wouldn’t have driven very far away from them I find her actions laudable! Bravo!
Captain Bravo | 10 months, 1 week ago
Add Comment | Post Reply
Mother
Raising children can be a difficult task! The teenage years are especially turbulent as children are becoming independent! When we start raising our kids we need to learn parenting skills to help us get through such times! We, as women, need to be available to help and support each other and avoid such outbursts! Starting at an early age, children can learn to behave (and so can moms)! I’m thankful a kind stranger got the girls to safety.
Linda G. Cox | 10 months, 1 week ago
Add Comment | Post Reply
YOU GO MOMS!!
I did the same thing, after my daughter repeatedly used the Lord’s name in vein and I continually asked her to stop. So I told her one more time and I will stop the car and she will get out and walk. She pushed my last button I slammed the brakes and threw her out — she was 14 at the time. Now she is 21 and has the ultimate respect for me, because when I say I will do something. I DO IT!!!
I believe in raising my kids the old fashion way, a bible in one hand and the belt in the other. Not using the TV and WII game as a babysitter.
Dawn Wasylow | 10 months ago
Add Comment | Post Reply
Dear: "You Go Moms"
I also believe in raising our children the old fashioned way, but the belt and brutality are not the way. I never used anything more then the hand on the rear with my boys and not very often. We kept our boys so busy with sports, scouting, Karate, band, chores, caring for pets, and family outings that they were to busy for television and video games and we always tried to entertain their friends at our house so that we knew where they were and what they were up to, I literally became the neighborhood mom. When our boys got too big to spank they were assigned what we called “dirty chores” (ie.. taking out the trash, cleaning up after the pets, yard work, washing the car, or scrubbing a floor, etc.) and we also would take the time to find the answers to their problems together. We watched movies from the “Family Film Festival” that teaches values. Now that they are grown men, I am very proud of who they turned out to be and their values. My oldest boy even told me once that I taught him how to love and raise his daughters. With a lot of love, strong values, the love of God and family, and being responsible for ones actions.
Susan Cowan | 10 months ago
Add Comment | Post Reply
M.S.
Many parents threaten to stop the car and that would have been okay. Many parents threaten to kick them out of the car on the side of the road and, in a safe area say with lots of grass, even that would have been okay. The next part is where she blew it—driving away. Very messed up thing to do.
What she should have done in my opinion was, when everyone was out of the car, had a pow wow where everyone voiced their opinion and mom states that the car is not moving till both girls apologize to each other and acknowledge that they can each see why the other one is upset. If a compromise needs to be reached that is the time to do it. A parent needs to be the leveling factor not the firecracker. Our children learn how to handle future stresses by seeing how it was done at home. Our level of comfort is based on how it was at home. Teach your children well and they will do the same for theirs.
Joanne Singerman | 10 months ago
Add Comment | Post Reply
to Joanne...
I’m not sure how stopping the car but not driving away would mean much of anything.
As to how much danger the kids were in matters a lot on the area. At the age of ten I was certainly on my own a lot of time, whether running around with friends or just exploring. If I’d been kicked out of the car three miles from home, I would have walked home. (Or if a friend’s was closer, maybe there instead.) So the mere fact that she kicked the kids out doe not make here irresponsible.
Overall, I don’t have a problem with this. Unless the police can specify exactly in what was the kid was in an unusual level of danger, There should be no charges.
This reminds me of the mother who made her kid stand beside the road holding a big sign that said something like “I was irresponsible”.
Unless the kid was dropped off in a bad neighborhood or otherwise overly dangerous area, the government has no right to interfere.
Stephen R | 10 months ago
Add Comment | Post Reply
Whatever it takes...
After repeated warnings, I had to make my sons get out of the car and walk. We were about a mile from home, and it was a busy road. But I followed behind them on the side of the road; they never left my sight. I’ve also just pulled over & waited until the fighting and/or horseplay stopped. It’s just too dangerous to continue driving with those distractions. I can’t fault anyone for taking steps to correct the situation, but I do think it best to follow behind the kids.
miflin | 10 months ago
Add Comment | Post Reply
Mommy Meltdown
I don’t know the entire story, but need there really be any more said. For God’s sakes her youngest daughter was picked up by a stranger, who could have done a lot worse than buy her ice-cream. She put her daughter in very real danger. I remember as a very young girl, how my mother dropped the lot of us off in front of the local orphanage (she drove around the block and picked us up, we cried the whole time frightened). Ten years later she was turned in for beating me black, blue and bloody. I put up with her bi-polar rages for 11 years. This woman’s daughter could have been killed. It makes me wonder what life is like for the girls inside the home when no-one is around. Someone needs to tell her that time outs and strong punishments work far better than neglect and placing her daughter in danger.
Susan Cowan | 10 months ago
Add Comment | Post Reply
1 2 3 > Last » (14 pages)