Mad Mom? Throwing the Kids Out of the Car
Going viral after going ballistic wasn’t on Madlyn Primoff’s mommy-do list.
But the story of the fed-up New York lawyer/mother who kicked her bickering daughters out of the car and onto the curb of a suburban street spread faster than flu, as parents around the world weighed in on whether the action was irresponsible—or irresistible.
“They had it coming. Give her a medal,” was typical of comments in support of Primoff, whose 12-year-old daughter managed to get back in the car, while her 10-year-old—in tears—was picked up by a stranger who bought her ice cream before calling the cops.
The family was three miles from home when Primoff made good on one of parenting’s most oft-repeated threats: Stop fighting or I’ll stop the car! “As a responsible parent, she gave her children a choice,” said another supporter, “and when they ignored her, she followed thru. I say good job!”
But the police said You’re under arrest. Primoff was jailed overnight and charged with endangering the welfare of a minor, an action many supported in online comments. “If the girls were acting up, then punish them when they get home,” wrote one. “You do not leave a child on the side of the road alone. Ever.” Another said, “It’s our job as parents to protect our children…Maybe she should put herself in time-out next time she has a mommy meltdown.”
There’s something larger going on, argued a prominent mom-blogger, who saw Primoff’s actions as a “mommy misdemeanor” and cautioned that her story “should not result in a free-for-all vilification of a mother-gone-bad.” Primoff made a bad choice, she continued, “but should she be condemned to wear a scarlet M? I’m not interested in judging her. I’m more interested in hoping that the public scrutiny fixated upon her will further expose motherhood for the truly complex job that it is.”
Tell us what you think: Were Madlyn Primoff’s actions irresponsible, irresistible, or something else? A “mommy misdemeanor” or a “mommy felony?” Does her right to decide how to deal with her squabbling kids have to conflict with the law?
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I think the night in jail was a bit too much. Primoff’s mistake was a matter of reasonable consequences. I would have made sure both kids understood exactly what the consequence of their bickering was going to be and then followed through. Has anyone considered how distracting and unsafe it was for Primoff to continue driving with the two of them continuing to bicker? Just how did the 12 year old ‘manage’ to get back in the car? Perhaps a counseling session for the three of them or a parenting class would have accomplished more than a night in jail and all of this second guessing by strangers.
Simon Sebastian | 9 months, 3 weeks ago
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You are responsible for the welfare ...
This is the bottom line: you get upset and throw your minor children out of the car? Yes, please jail her. We are responsible for our children. I don’t care if they are 15 or 45. Raise them right and maybe your life will get a little easier, who knows. Putting them out of the car at this age is irresponsible and not a solution to the problem. Wise up. Don’t confuse being a mother with being an attorney. Too many people forget that they are a mother first, an attorney much later.
Dianne Stackpoole | 9 months, 3 weeks ago
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Daycare provider
There have been times that I can see myself pulling over and threatening to kick them out. Motherhood is hard at times. Insane even! Ok let’s say I even kick them out of the car but I would never drive off. That is not something I would do EVER! No lesson was learned for the kids. The kids were just scared. The mom needed to be arrested.
shanall eaddy | 9 months, 3 weeks ago
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That's nothing.
When I was but a young lad, my mother did that all the time. Not a big deal.
Hayden Waite | 9 months, 3 weeks ago
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Mom Overwhelmed
I think the mom who left her kids by the side of the road was at the end of her rope mentally. We must not judge her too harshly, for we do not know the full story going on here.
Hayley Shaver | 9 months, 2 weeks ago
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Unberlievable
Where has our society gone when a kid cant be outside by themselves. Yeah it does sound a little crazy dumping your kids off on the side of the road but its not like they were toddlers. My little 7 year old brother and 8 year old sister walk a mile to school every day alone. Should my mom go to jail for not taking them? Wow -’ how we are crippling our youth with the stranger danger mentality when the statistics don’t add up. Its not dangerous for a ten year old to be outside.
kevin villalobos | 9 months, 2 weeks ago
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Mom drops off fighting daughters from car
20 years ago, I did the same thing. My 2 children were fighting in the car and I warned them that I was going to stop the car and they would walk. The town we lived in was only a population of 9800 and we were only 1 mile from home and lived in the city. My children were also in 7th and 9th grade.
Using common sense as a parent is required. To do this can teach your children you mean business, but make sure you are not putting your kids lives in danger.
Jane Stroup | 9 months, 2 weeks ago
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a mom
Yes, She gave them a choice and followed through but at what cost? The choice was wrong. The mother and child should feel lucky that a pervert didn’t pick up her child and buy an ice cream and something else. What is she teaching her child anyway? Certainly not to respect her wishes, fear maybe. The Mother didn’t instill trust, compassion, consideration or connection. Mother needs to get a grip and find some new ways of connecting with her kids so that they respect her. I don’t think it’s a felony but making her take a NVC class or something might be good.
Sandy Weaver | 9 months, 2 weeks ago
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ms.
My understanding is that Mom drove around the block and by the time she got back, the 10 year old had been picked up by someone else. Apparently it was during daytime; I am not sure about the “safe neighborhood” stuff, (EVERY neighborhood is safe till we have to hear that “it just doesn’t happen here”!!!). But WHY is it a crime to put the kids out of the car so that they walk home??? How did the 12 year old “catch up” with the car and not the 10 year old? My guess is that she continued to be stubborn and dare her mother and threw a king-sized tantrum right where she stood. People, thousands of NEW YORK kids walk to and from school every day, some of them go miles if the schools in their particular neighborhoods are not safe. Those kids are not being deliberately left or placed in danger by “negligent” Moms; they are taught to negotiate the back alleys of life: to NOT talk to strangers; to try to discern who might hurt and who might not and ALL strangers are treated as…well STRANGERS! The only thing I have an issue with the Mother is – why did her 10 year old not yet been taught the dangers of getting into a car with a stranger?
To SUSAN: It might be difficult to put abuse in perspective; and I cannot downplay your abuse. Your suggestion that these kids are being abused at home might be spot on but it is not the first thing that comes to my mind. Hundreds of thousands of us are raised by parents who cannot/ did not always hold their tempers; that threatened and spanked. Even though it might be a sit/ com – I look at Everybody Loves Chris and even though born and raised in the Caribbean, I think the frustrations, negotiations, punishments and expressions of love are what epitomizes child rearing: dealing with REAL problems in REAL ways and teaching your kids to thrive in a harsh imperfect world. It seems to me that if these kids were being abused at home, they’d straighten up BEFORE they got there and when Mom said so. NO WAY would they even risk “waiting till Mom got home”. As mothers and as adults we know that no two kids are the same.
maggie | 9 months, 2 weeks ago
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Justice ...
I am not a mother. I do however help parents take care of their kids. I know that parents need to follow through with what they say. Now days kids can always turn on their parents. say they’ll call the cops it they get a spanking. We all know that that stops parents cold. I do commend the lawyer mom by going through with it. I do agree with mommy melt down however that the stranger could have done worse. I remember when I was younger my mom left me and my brother at a store. My brother and I walked over to the toy vending machine. She wanted to teach us to never leave her side without her permission. As she watched us look for her in the parking lot. It was only 10 minutes; it was affected never the less. Let’s just say after that and till this day I tell my mom everything I do.
zee W | 9 months, 2 weeks ago
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