Good Parenting or Bad Spying?
Monitoring.
Blocking.
Filtering.
Tracking.
Parenting these days includes an arsenal of tools to find out what kids are up to online, on the street, on the phone, and everywhere else in between. Some say it’s about safety. Others say it’s about spying. And many question the boundaries of parental responsibility.
But should parenting go to the dogs?
Absolutely, according to a New Jersey-based company called Sniff Dogs. For $200 an hour, parents can rent a specially-trained Labrador Retriever that sniffs for drugs in their kids’ bedrooms. Heroin, crystal meth, cocaine. The dogs can even smell a marijuana seed from 15 feet away, as well as the lingering scent of the drug smoked days earlier. If contraband is detected, the pooch sits down, his handler marks the spot, and the parents take over the search from there.
The key, according to Sniff Dogs, is to conduct the search when children are not at home, and without their knowledge. That way, says Sniff Dogs co-owner Debra Stone, “the conversation is not, ‘Are you using drugs?’ but ‘We found the drugs.’” The stealth searches are legal, and Stone insists they don’t constitute snooping. “It’s not a violation of trust,” she said. “It’s what parents often do when monitoring other areas.”
Others disagree. “There are major repercussions for this type of intervention,” said a clinical psychologist. “When parents do this it erodes trust and goodwill.”
“As a parent, you worry,” counters a mother who hired a Sniff Dog to suss out her three kids’ rooms. Though no drugs were found, she says she’ll use the dogs again. “I trust my kids,” she said, “but you can only trust them so far.”
Tell us what you think: Is secretly using a drug-sniffing dog parental responsibility or parental snooping? Does a child’s personal safety ever justify her parents spying on her?
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You can Trust all you want...
You can be as trusting as you want with children, but they still might endanger themselves or others through bad choices, or peer pressure.
If you choose to investigate your kids, then “You are wrong”. If you don’t check their actions and behavior, then “You are wrong”.
I am 49 and have parented a lot of children. I’m glad that we have so many tools to use when we need them, so I don’t disagree with “Sniff Dogs”. I think parents who just TRUST that their children are just going to do what’s right are out of their minds, then they wake up one day wishing that they had kept that girl out of their son’s room, even when they KNEW that something was going on in there……… Oh, but we are supposed to trust our children to make the right decisions…… Now she’s pregnant!
My son’s had to earn my trust, by their decisive behavior, among other things, and they turned out well, also I kept myself in check…no drinking, drugin’, cheating, or anything that would catch-up to me later, that would give my kids an excuse to say “Well dad, you were drunk all the time….”. I applied the same technique to my nephews, caught them in alot of bad situations, and it’s like day and night…..makes me wonder if their going to jail, juvy, and their disrespect for the average human being, “Who wasn’t a rising criminal”, wasn’t inherited, being that their fathers were of the same mind even though they weren’t raised by them.
One EARLY clue, that something is wrong, is when your son or daughter, is yelling at you in front of everyone. You have a choice…..Check it now, or tomorrow it will to late, START EARLY! I see this everyday, parents who allow their child to disrespect them consistantly, and won’t set up borders, which I believe, sends the message..“Well if Mom or Dad let me get away with that, then what else can I do?. (TRESSIE OSMUN)’…. And if that happens, parents, by the time they hit 18, have fun, because coming from a psychologist, you are not going to change them by now.’
One day, I wouldn’t allow my youngest, to go out, because she couldn’t control her yelling and back-talk to her mother; It was getting worse and worse, as the time went on, and so she was grounded. Well she wouldn’t understand that her mouth got her into trouble, and she didn’t see anything wrong with that and insisted that she was being treated unfairly. Later I asked her what she would do if her little girl talked to her like that, and throw fits? ………And you wouldn’t believe what she said…….. She said “I would beat the crap out of her”!!!! Wow!……….“Well that’s why you are grounded; Understand now?!”
Face it parents..As long as you are ….“RUINING MY LIFE!” You will never be your childs BFF, so get over it, and settle for being the best parent you can be, and reap the beni’s later.
Also being a parent starts before your children are born “Get your own house in order”; Remember, they don’t ask to come here, but once they are be ready to do what’s necessary, including talk, and be an example.
Oh one more thing. Unless they are really gifted in the parenting department, I wouldn’t parent my children by the suggestions of a twenty year old. Why would we let children tell us to do with our children?…………RiiiiiiGht?
Kenneth Carr | 3 months, 3 weeks ago
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Drug Sniffing Dogs
I think if you suspect your child of taking drugs – have them tested, and get them help. Stop the drama with the dogs, and get a good therapist.
Floridian | 3 months, 2 weeks ago
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From a 16 year old's point of view...
to be honest..if I were using drugs or had them in my possession, I would like for my parents to snoop and look for them. It would show me that they care about me and what happens to me. And that way I could get help.
Brittany Taylor | 3 months, 2 weeks ago
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what is my chile doing
what is my children donig on the computer
terrance montrale whitehead | 2 months, 4 weeks ago
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Writer
Well I raised my children with respect for other peoples personal property. I would never break that trust. I always knew what my children were doing because I was involved in there lives. I knew when they tried drugs and alcohol because of the typical effects of these drugs that I took the time to investigate. I was lucky to have the time to be involved with my children.
Tom Fedorka | 1 month, 1 week ago
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Parents Should Be Parents - Beware of Teen Sites t
If your child is under 18, you have a legal obligation to care for your child. That means safety, too. Teen girl sites are a goldmine for potential molesters to hang out on. The ones that are open and without verified membership like actress Kristin Kreuk’s Girls By Design is a molester’s ideal website. No safety measures are taken on that site.
Jessi Manley | 2 weeks, 5 days ago
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TRUST
The approaches mentioned in this article represent two extreme black/white positions, neither of which accurately depicts the process of developing trust. Without wisdom, we as parents tend to vascillate between complete naivety and cynical suspicion. In fact, trust ought to be approached as a construction zone —-with a foundation of the knowledge that we all need supportive guidance and mercy. Trust is a practice, beginning with a small starting point. Based on how a small matter is handled, one can discern the readiness or preparedness for progressing or regressing to prepare for future privileges of freedom.
Stuart | 2 weeks ago
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think of us-teens
I don’t do drugs, but my mom wanted TOTAL access to a facebook account and a Muse forum. I said “screw it”. I told her I deleted the Muse account and haven’t. I know how to be careful. For Pete’s sake, this isn’t my real name. I DO have a facebook, but it was for a Spanish project. I have a pen name for that as well. I know how to take care of myself. My mom needs to trust me. Parents, TRUST your kids. Don’t buy them materalistic things. Spend time with them. Sit down and talk with them about the things that bring them joy. I’m telling you right now that you are going to regret it if you don’t. Don’t be ignorant.
Matthew Aman | 6 days, 5 hours ago
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