Gone Baby Gone
At 7:30 on a Monday morning, a teenage girl holding a newborn baby approached a bus stop in Sacramento. The bus stop is only a few miles from the California state capitol building, where a law called the “SSB” was enacted—the safely surrendered baby law. The SSB allows a desperate mother to give up an unwanted baby within three days of birth, no questions asked, no prosecution for child abandonment, and hopefully no infant left in a trash dumpster, the kind of tragic scenario the law was designed to discourage.
So when the teenager—strawberry blond and about 16—appeared at the bus stop and asked a kind stranger to hold her baby while she fixed a bottle, perhaps she thought she was doing the right thing as she slipped away forever…safely surrendering her infant son. The stranger called the police. The police took the 7 pound boy to a hospital, where he was determined to be in good health, one to two days old.
But even though the police initially said the teenager tried to “do the right thing”, the law says she can be arrested and prosecuted for felony child endangerment because the only legally recognized SSB sites in Sacramento are hospital emergency rooms and fire stations. Bus stops don’t qualify. So the police are asking for the public’s help in identifying the teenage mother, who could go to jail for essentially choosing a bus stop over a dumpster.
If doing the right thing in this case wasn’t the legal thing, is the greater failure with the mother or the law?
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Hang on
At what point in our society did abstaining from utterly the most monstrously selfish behavior imaginable like tossing a baby into a dumpster become ‘doing the responsible thing’?
And why do people keep insisting she was doing what was best for her child? People are falling all over themselves to absolve her of any responsibility for her state… depression, education, youth, ignorance? I’m not convinced she was motivated by anything but ‘this baby is a drag’, but weather she was or not, the permissive approach many want to insist upon is only going to foster that attitude.
Justin M | 1 year, 11 months ago
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Beg pardon?
I’d like to ask many on this board at what point in our history as a culture did abstaining from the singly must monstrously selfish act such as infanticide via dumpster become ‘doing the responsible thing’ or ‘what’s best for her child’?
People seem inclined, in absence of any information, inclined to trip over themselves to justify this with anything that will absolve her of responsibility. Youth, ignorance, lack of education, depression, mental illness… nobody cares to think it might be the same attitudes that shirked responsibility and got her pregnant in the first place. “This baby is a drag, and so would carrying it those few blocks to the hospital”.
Give me a break.
Justin M | 1 year, 11 months ago
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Gone Baby, Gone
Sure the girl left the child in a complete strangers arms, which is not exactly safe, but I think by no means is she at fault. It wasn’t a dumpster, or the bus stop bench. Obviously cared enough to leave the baby attended so the child wouldn’t be left alone for hours, or days.
I think the problem here is, there isn’t enough “marketing” so to speak for safe surrender. I think there needs to be more outreach for teens to let them know what it is, and to take it for face value. And prevention of teen pregnancy, but thats a whole different issue in itself.
Britt | 1 year, 11 months ago
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Being Responsible
Did this girl do the right thing? Did she leave her baby with this complete stranger thinking the stranger would take better care of her baby? This stranger who was at a bus stop was left to care for the baby this girl carried in her belly for 9 months. We do not know what frame of mind this teenager was in when she decided to leave her baby with a stranger at the bus stop. As a society we want to have compassion for this girl which is why we assume she was trying to do the right thing. This girl was 16, and although we as adults want to look at her as a child, she is not. She chose to have a sexual relationship, she chose to continue with the pregnancy, and she chose to hand her baby over to a complete stranger. It is with these choices that this girl, and any other teenager out there must deal with the consequences. If charging her with a felony is the consequence that she must face then so be it. If she chose to steal a car or sell drugs she would face the consequences of those actions as well. So why should her punishment be lessened or none at all? Again, the fact of the matter is that when we make the choice to do something those choices have consequences that we must be ready to face. Of course nobody wants a baby killed, or left in a dumpster or in a bathroom or anything like that but it is our responsibility as a society and parents to teach our children from the beginning. There were many options available to this girl. Abortion, adoption, parenting classes, etc. Regardless of what your personal/moral/religious beliefs are it is in the best interest of our nation to provide our children, boys and girls, with the education and knowledge necessary to make informed, educated decisions. As many posters have stated, ignorance is not an excuse. It is those excuses that leads to the state of our nation today.
Steph | 1 year, 11 months ago
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so many people, so much judgement
So many comments, so judgmental. Anyone who believes this child should be charged as a felony for her decision also should expect to get charged for a felony each time they run a stop sign or speed (after all, someone MIGHT die, even though they didn’t), or if someone in their family gets sick from eating stale food (they should have cleaned it out of the fridge, someone MIGHT die, even though they didn’t). Heck, let’s charge moms and dads with felonies who sleep at the same time, because their child MIGHT figure out how to open the door and get out. After all, there’s no REASON one can’t sleep day and the other nights, right??
If we as a nation start charging people for things that DIDN’T happen, we’re all in serious trouble. I doubt any one of us here would still be walking around free.
Anita chiquita | 1 year, 11 months ago
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No judgement?
Being judgemental?
First, she’s not being charged with what could have happened. If it had happened she’d be charged with alot more. If someone shoots at you should they not be charged with anything, if they miss?
She is being charged with abandoning a baby. For the record, she ‘almost’ or ‘could have’ done the right or legal thing. She chose not to.
And personally, yes, I do judge her to be wrong. It doesn’t mean I’m not sympathetic, but saying ‘it’s hard’ doesn’t disqualify someone from judgement. If doing the right thing were easy, everyone would be doing it. But no, this attitude is instead saying ‘let’s just call the easy thing right so we feel better for taking the easy way out’.
Lot’s of good people sacrifice and work hard to do the right thing. This one didn’t. And I don’t feel bad saying so, because that would be an injustice to those mothers who actually earn my respect.
Justin M | 1 year, 11 months ago
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Law vs Belief
From what I have read of everyone else’s comments, this is turning into a debate of law versus beliefs. According to the law, she can be prosecuted. And according to the beliefs of many of you, she should.
I disagree. It is the mother’s choice and hers alone whether or not to commit an abortion. And to all those of you who say an abortion is “an easy way out”: How do you know? Have you ever had one? I have not but I can’t imagine how it would be easy.
There aren’t any easy choices here. This young woman—she is surely not a child—made the best decision she could. If anything it is the fault of everybody else for not making things easier for her. Perhaps her decision was not the best, but it was her best.
I don’t see how anybody has a right to criticize this young woman for doing the best that she could when handed a situation no teenager should have to face.
Emily | 1 year, 11 months ago
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No Judgement
What if she didn’t know about the specific places you can legally safe surrender your baby over? Would you rather the next teen mom flush her newborn, or is the trash your preference? Hard choice, since I believe life, which she choose, was the right thing to do.
celeste | 1 year, 11 months ago
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Fine Line
There is a fine line as to whether this young mother did the right thing. On one hand choosing life for your child is better than certain death, but on the other hand you need to consider the person at the bus stop. In this case the person did the right thing, but what if they had not? Is putting blame on someone else the right thing to do, or is it just an easy way out? I feel like our society has come to a disturbing place when, giving a two day baby up to a complete stranger is an acceptable thing to do. I am a young mother myself, and I feel that the right thing to do is never the easy thing to do!
Jamie | 1 year, 11 months ago
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Still no judgement
We’re talking bout responsibility here, right? Let’s just take a moment. So instead of asking where to go or say, looking up where to take your child, this person passing the child off like a coke can is ‘responsible’ because the child didn’t end up in the trash?
Is our modern idea of responsibility and parental obligation now falling short of taking a few extra hours to dump our babies off at an approved spot?
I agree with Jamie and what others have said: The way to improve our society isn’t by lowering the standards of behavior so everyone can excuse every wretched act because doing better might require discipline or effort. It’s not about feeling good about doing the wrong thing and using phrases that start with “Well, at least I didn’t …” It’s not about ifs, ands, or buts. People screw up but we don’t do ourselves or them any favors when we say “that’s okay” and redefine it as virtuous or honorable.
What about trying to better ourselves? You don’t make the world better by shrugging and saying, “Well, at least they didn’t toss their baby in the garbage.” If that’s someone’s idea of not judging or of an ideal society, I would have no wish to take part in it.
Justin M | 1 year, 11 months ago
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