Fertility Treatments: For Convenience?
Motherhood—achieving it and surviving it—is a perennially popular topic of blog discussions. But rarely does one comment continue to draw responses years after first being posted, like the following one has from a woman who wanted to undergo IVF fertility treatments as a matter of convenience.
“I don’t have fertility problems,” she wrote, “but I would like IVF because it would be better for my career and lifestyle if I could give birth to multiples rather than prolong my family planning.” The woman then posed this question: “Is it immoral to want fertility treatments to become pregnant with more than one baby?”
That was in 2003, and the responses have continued since, some barbed, all blunt.
“Do you realize how insane and ridiculous you sound?”
“You are better off with a goldfish that doesn’t require your time.”
“Not only are you talking about something immoral, but something that’s just wrong!”
Many women wrote to tell their own stories of the difficulty and danger involved in multiple births, aghast at what they saw as a selfish quest for a “designer” family. “Putting your babies’ lives at risk for the sake of convenience is incredibly irresponsible,” one stated. A mother of triplets answered the original question head-on: “It’s not immoral to try fertility treatments when they’re unnecessary, but it is unethical.”
Others were less judgmental, like this mother who was pregnant with twins as she responded. “You have to do what’s right for you. If you want more than one child, then it’s your decision, no one else’s.” And another woman attempted to create room for discussion. “There are more of us out there that have had that same thought,” she wrote, “although some may not admit it.”
Tell us what you think: Is having unnecessary fertility treatments for career and lifestyle reasons immoral…irresponsible…acceptable?
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Fertility treatments: for conveniece
I think that people need to consider the unborn life that they are harming. I am a victim of a mother who drank while pregnant. Remeber that unborn kids are people.
Irene Faith Siler | 9 months, 2 weeks ago
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45 year old having a baby
What danger will a 45 year old having a baby have, and what problem will the baby have?
Telisia Dodd | 9 months, 1 week ago
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USA
The best information I have found exactly here. Keep going. Thank you
JaneRadriges | 9 months ago
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stumbled across this
I was looking for side effects to Clomid as I was just put on that by my doctor , I read one of the side effects could be multiple births. Granted I am more than happy conceiving one child; two would be wonderful too. I guess I don’t understand. If you want a baby badly and have to use fertility treatments to get it, that’s what I’m doing an earlier comment said it was wrong to sandwich a baby between your lifestyle and career, yes i think that’s wrong. Having a baby should be one of the most important choices you make and when you do, if you can do it without the help, that’s the way to go. I don’t think using fertility treatments to “get the whole kit and kaboodle” is something that should be done if you can do it naturally. Anyways baby dust to all :)
Liz Bradstreet | 8 months, 3 weeks ago
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Quit telling me to adopt. If you haven't been ther
I have PCOS. My husband and I have been trying for 10 years to get pregnant. Unless you have been there you don’t know. If you were lucky enough to be blessed with the ability to concieve a child. You don’t know. I get so frustrated in these message boards when people start preaching about adoption.
Last year my husband and I spent $40,000.00 to adopt a baby. We were there through the whole pregnancy. We took care fo the birth mom. We were there when the baby was born. We named him. We love him (still and forever). Did you know that in EVERY state the birth mom has a grace period to change her mind? The time varies state to state. Try bringing a baby home and then having to hand it over to a women who is jobless, homeless, careless and addicted to drugs. You live through that then you come back and tell me to adopt. And as a side note, you DO NOT get back the money you spent on the failed adoption.. because you are not buying a baby. You are paying for legal fees and birth mother care. There are no refunds. All adoptive parents know the risks going in. So how long would it tak eoyu to save $40,000.00 and if you had to save that money a second time how long then? And if you managed to save that kind of money again.. well I am terrified of bonding to another baby I have to give back. You try holding a baby that you are told is yours after going through that… you would be afraid to hold the baby or to let it go once you gave in to your desire.
I agree that using fertility treatments to get multiples is ridiculous. But remember, Nadya Suleman is the exception to the rule. Most people who are going through IVF treatments can afford to raise a baby (most health insurance plans won’t cover the cost). Most doctors would NEVER implant more than 3 embryos (most prefer to implant 1 or 2). The reason they are willing to implant 2 or 3 embryo’s is that the chances of both of those embryos implanting are actually pretty slim. M ost women have 2 or 3 failed cycles before they actually get a viable pregnancy that results in a live birth. The costs of each of these procedures varies $10,000.00-$20,000.00 per a try, not per a pregnancy, but for each month you try. The costs vary greatly depending on which drugs are used, how long they are used for and if you already have frozen embryos or if new ones need to be created.
Thousands of women world wide go through fertility treatments each year. A small fraction of those treatments result in High Order Multiples (like Suleman or the Gosselins). it is a risk that each couple is aware of when we go into this. it is a risk that all responsible doctors do their best to minimize.
So yes, while adoption is a beutiful thing. Please remeber some of the waiting lists to get a baby can be 3 years or more. Yes there is a waiting list because in the US there are more families looking for babies than there are babies being born due to better contraceptive use and the abortion practices. But I digress as have many others.
The question was nto is fertility treatment immoral or unethical……
The question was not should people having a difficult time getting pregnant be allowed to try infertility but be forced to adopt……..
The question was is it immoral or unethical to use fertility treatment methods on a women with no fertility issues to increase her chances of multiples. And I believe firmly that yes it is both immoral and unethical. This person would be at extremely high risk of a High order Mulitple pregnancy. And if these families keep popping up it is going to make it harder for the rest of us to recieve the treatments we need to enjoy the same rights of being parents as the rest of the world.
Summer L. Trevor | 8 months, 3 weeks ago
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Mother
Every one who is able is entitled to hold heir own child. So what if some people need help; it’s their choice and personal. I hoped for multiples so I wouldn’t have to go through the treatments again. To whoever is out there trying: don’t let anyone tell your wrong for wanting a baby of your own? There is nothing like it. I have a five year old and I really trying hard to get pregnant again
danielle | 8 months, 2 weeks ago
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RN
Okay but what if she doesn’t just have 2 children……you mentioned both? What if there are 4-5 or 6 children? What then are they going to abort the rest because of her career? She wont have a career then.
AA | 8 months, 2 weeks ago
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As long as you can support them
Seriously, nobody should care as long as the mother can support her children. If she keeps having babies and is living off the Social Security system, aka our tax money, then it’s wrong.
As long as she can support her kids and not feed off of government money, I’m totally cool with it. Just support your children with your own money, not our tax dollars. Don’t be selfish like that.
guy | 8 months, 2 weeks ago
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Twins
Working in a type A fertility center most of my life I have seen many people come and go through our doors. One case that I recall happened in 1994, a woman who had a type of cervical cancer came to us in order to get pregnant. She was in her early 30’s, stable job as a graphic designer, married, and a very god caring person. The doctors worked on her case [after she gave birth] for a couple of years later due to the controversy involved. You see the doctors estimated that the cervical cancer would move to the uterus in a matter of years, bearing the news to her that if she waited to have children she wouldn’t be able to conceive. They told this news to a woman who had wanted to have kids all her life, And have a great big family, like the one she didn’t have as a child. She was very frustrated with with news i recall and was very sad. So she asked the doctors if they could give her twins. Take an egg that was healthy, split it and artifically inseminate it. The doctors went ahead with the procedure. And the woman gave birth to two healthy baby girls. A year later, the mother had to get her uterus and cervix removed along with her fallopian tubes because the cancer had spread. She wasn’t able to have anymore children after that, but was delighted that she was able to have twins. Two beautiful children that she had wanted all her life. She comes back every year with her kids, and a plate of cookies. She thanks us all. And her two kids, now 15, make her life complete.
Now i don’t know about you, but i think that was a nice deed the doctors did. But I’m not quite sure if it was morally correct. Whats your opinion?
Mary Linoim | 7 months, 4 weeks ago
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Fertility Treatments
I am currently using fertility drugs to try to conceive with my husband. We have a wonderful three year old, but we do want him to have at least one sibling. We are using fertility treatment because I have PCOS and endometriosis. I have thought that maybe God did not intend for me to have anymore children as we have been trying for over a year. I don’t think we would adopt because I was adopted myself and always felt that I was treated differently than my parents “biological children”. I think I could love any child but I don’t know if it would be the same love that I feel for my son. I don’t want a child to feel as though they don’t belong because I am incapable of loving them the same as my own child. I am very torn over this issue of adoption versus fertility treatments as I agree that there are too many children that need a loving home. Maybe I would adopt if I did not have a child already. Time will only tell if the treatment works and if not I believe that adoption will be a very real option at that time.
Krissy | 7 months, 3 weeks ago
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