Fertility Treatments: For Convenience?
Motherhood—achieving it and surviving it—is a perennially popular topic of blog discussions. But rarely does one comment continue to draw responses years after first being posted, like the following one has from a woman who wanted to undergo IVF fertility treatments as a matter of convenience.
“I don’t have fertility problems,” she wrote, “but I would like IVF because it would be better for my career and lifestyle if I could give birth to multiples rather than prolong my family planning.” The woman then posed this question: “Is it immoral to want fertility treatments to become pregnant with more than one baby?”
That was in 2003, and the responses have continued since, some barbed, all blunt.
“Do you realize how insane and ridiculous you sound?”
“You are better off with a goldfish that doesn’t require your time.”
“Not only are you talking about something immoral, but something that’s just wrong!”
Many women wrote to tell their own stories of the difficulty and danger involved in multiple births, aghast at what they saw as a selfish quest for a “designer” family. “Putting your babies’ lives at risk for the sake of convenience is incredibly irresponsible,” one stated. A mother of triplets answered the original question head-on: “It’s not immoral to try fertility treatments when they’re unnecessary, but it is unethical.”
Others were less judgmental, like this mother who was pregnant with twins as she responded. “You have to do what’s right for you. If you want more than one child, then it’s your decision, no one else’s.” And another woman attempted to create room for discussion. “There are more of us out there that have had that same thought,” she wrote, “although some may not admit it.”
Tell us what you think: Is having unnecessary fertility treatments for career and lifestyle reasons immoral…irresponsible…acceptable?
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I read the original comment and I think she posed the wrong question: the question is not whether it’s immoral to want to get pregnant with more than one baby (as she asked); the question is, is it moral to treat parenthood like something to be sandwiched in between your “career” and “lifestyle”? And the answer is no, it’s not moral. I’m assuming she wanted to have all her kids right away so she’d only have to pregnant once. The ethical thing to do would be to roll the dice, get pregnant, and stop at one if that’s her game plan. (Parenting multiples is not just another Big Box choice, after all.)
Jessica Pegis | 1 year, 4 months ago
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In order to fully support your children
I disagree. In order to fully support your children, taking career into account is essential. That is an unavoidable issue, if you are to have the resources to raise a child in this day and age.
If a woman believes that she can be the best mother for her children by having those both at once, what is so wrong with that? She is planning for her future family. I agree that parenthood is nothing to be taken lightly, and it is imperative that a woman realizes that it must take first priority. But you have to consider these other major parts of life.
Createtheworldyoulivein | 1 year, 3 months ago
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Why not
If the mother wants more than one baby why shouldn’t she get that? It’s up to the person that has to carry the children for nine months. I think it’s great that she want more than one kid, so let her do what she wants.
joshua scott | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Kids as consumer choice
There’s a bigger risks associated with carrying multiples. If you choose it, you are also accepting the risks: a greater risk of premature birth, low birth weight, cerebral palsy, and stillbirth. I guess you would have to set these risks against your family planning goals. Is this fair? I would be interested to know that you think.
Jessica Pegis | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Multiples
While multiples are not a given result of IVF, they often result especially if the mother is young and more than one embryo is transferred to her uterus.
IVF for a woman with no fertility impairment would be medically unethical for the following reasons: there is risk associated with IVF in and of itself – to the women who undergoes egg retrieval under “light” anesthesia; and, there is a risk from the anesthesia and there is a risk of infection or perforation of other organs in the abdomen. So any reproductive endocrinologist who performed an IVF cycle on a woman with no infertility impairment would be unethical, IMHO.
Secondly, pregnancy of multiples, even twins, carries a higher risk to the mother than carrying single babies one a a time does. In nature, fraternal twins only occur in one in every 100-300 births (depending on ethnicity). In IVF, the incidence is much higher.
I happen to be an identical twin myself, and also a mother who gave birth via IVF. Every child must bond with its mother and when a mother bears two children at once, that bonding is cut in half and made much more difficult for both the mother and the two children. IVF is not a procedure to be undertaken lightly. If a woman is lucky enough to be able to get pregnant naturally, and give birth to her children one at a time, she will have a far better chance of bonding well with each child. That is my opinion having been there!
claire Callahan Goodman | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Meant to be?
I apologize in advance if you take issue with my view on this. I am not a woman; therefore, I can never fully understand what it is to be pregnant or to be a mother. However, I am a father who loves his child more than anything else in the world and would do whatever it took to provide for her needs. This in mind, it confuses and upsets me when I see couples (or individuals, for that matter) delve into the world of fertility treatments when they are unable to have children as is. I should say, when this is the only avenue they seek and pursue with everything they have.
I don’t know what the statistics are, but it seems that many fertility treatments produce multiples. Most people would be in agreement that in many regions, overpopulation is a problem. It seems to me that if you are unable to produce children without treatments it may be that God didn’t intend for you to produce your own children. Perhaps it was meant for you to be one of the greatest gifts in the world – an adoptive parent. We see on a daily basis, the results of children who grow up without someone to love them and guide them. Yet, many would spend tens and hundreds of times the resources to chemically alter their reproductive state than to take a needy child into their home. Again, as stated before, these treatments often carry health risks that a natural pregnancy would not and risks that adopting a child never would. Just my 2 cents.
Dave Washburn | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Reply to meant to be
Dave, you may be a man, but I agree with you. There are so many children in this country that need loving, caring parents that if you can’t conceive or want to have all your children at once, adopt. That being said, there are selfish people out there that feel that the child has to carry their genes for them to love them. My best friend is unable to have children and at this time, she is in the process of adopting her second child. She and her family love these children every bit as much as if she had had IFV and given birth. I’m sure she would also agree with your statement.
Vicke Wiethorn | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Well, this is a sticky issue. If she does this, she possibly will get more than one child-and her children, if multiples-are at higher risk of many health problems as a result. If convenience is an issue, don’t have kids. Seriously, think about it. This isn’t fast food. These are children, and she isn’t at McDonalds! If you get pregnant, then good. If you don’t, IVF is an option. And if IVF doesn’t work, there is always adoption. And there is always the other option, she can get a dog. And if she wants lots of them, she can get more than one!
celeste | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Thoughts on multiples
In all honesty, I’m in my twenties, married, and wanting children soon. I have wished for multiples. I think having a sibling is such a positive thing for a child to begin with, and since I know I want more than one, the concept of being able to have them at once would work so well for our lifestyle – and contribute to the best raising of them that I can think of. It may come across as a convenience factor, but I just feel this would be the best possible way for us to raise children- take ONE maternity leave- then be able to work out who stays home in alternating (my husband is a nurse so that allows him to choose his schedule).
I think a mother has a right to make that decision. If she is in good health and takes care of herself, those risks with multiples can be worked with and lessened. I don’t believe that is unethical, either, provided she does the research and understands the great responsibility she is setting herself up for. I also am very supportive of adoption, too, and I have considered this. This is also an alternative.
My question is- with so many people that I know taking these fertility drugs- are we going to learn of more serious side effects than what is listed?
Createtheworldyoulivein | 1 year, 3 months ago
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Fertility Treatments
I haven’t read the comments, but I suspect my reaction to the original post may be unpopular. I am basically opposed to fertility treatments under virtually all circumstances. There are too many children unwanted, fertility treatments are (to my knowledge) very expensive, which means (1) higher costs for insurance companies for elective procedures (if covered), thus increasing the average cost of the entire “risk pool” of their customers, leading to higher premiums for all, or (2) it is available only to those who can afford it, the wealthier among us, causing economic discrimination. I feel for couples that can’t have children together, but they are adults—old enough to know that we can’t have everything we want (although television advertising would seem to tell us otherwise). My parents seemed unable to conceive after I was born, and 8 years later were considering adoption when it happened. Not every couple is this lucky, I know, but I would rather see these couples seek out soon-to-be mothers looking to have their child adopted. I admit, I am speaking theoretically, as I am not a parent, but this is my belief.
Sally G | 1 year, 3 months ago
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