Children and Chores: How Much?
A new study has identified an emerging domestic threat that could be responsible for making future marriages teeter and prompting a decline in volunteerism and empathy.
The study is about children and chores.
University of Maryland Professor Sandra Hofferth—who is an expert on how children use their time—reports that 6 to 12 year-olds now spend an average of only 24 minutes a day doing household chores. That’s a 12% drop from 1997, and a 25% skid since 1981.
The chore-defying dive reflects “important behavioral and values shifts that will affect lives for years to come,” says Dr. Hofferth.
Doing household chores as a child turns out to be a major predictor of whether an individual does volunteer or community work as an adult, according to sociologists, who note that housework is an important teaching tool. And when it comes to domestic bliss, the distribution of domestic duties—grounded in childhood chores—can make or break a marriage.
According to experts, children’s chores are declining in part because they’re spending more time on reading, studying, and other activities. But even their parental role models are doing less work around the house, hiring help instead or simply letting chores chill.
Within days of the news that chore times had dropped like the Dow, a new website called NannysCircle.com began promoting itself as a novel solution to motivating kids by making a “virtual” game of chores. Instead of nagging Junior to feed the dog, parents log on and send a virtual note, which their child retrieves from his virtual room. In real life, the child supposedly feeds the dog, then emails his parents that the task has been completed.
But success may come at the expense of another domestic chore: parent-child communication. “You see the appeal,” wrote a reporter about the website. “Parenting, a messy series of weary battles that never seem to lead anywhere, becomes something that can be checked off and filed. No back talk. Just hit ‘send.’”
Tell us what you think: Should children be responsible for doing more chores? Are chore-less children really responsible for failed marriages and fewer volunteers? As a responsible parent, would you turn over chore supervision to a computer?
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where's the responsibility & appreciation?
I have a 10 and 13 year old. It is so important to implement chores/work ethic into our kids lives. Working equals earning, and I think today’s society for the most part, is slacking in the area of teaching our kids what it means to earn the things you want in life. Possessions don’t just get handed to you. The reality is you need to work hard and well to get the things you want out of life. No matter how much effort and reminders we as parents need to give our kids to do chores…and no matter how much complaining we hear from them, the truth is, it’s best for the kids to gain these skills. It builds character, it provides knowledge, and teaches appreciation. All of those things are so important for their future. Let’s not forget that they are our future.
shantel bessette | 1 year, 5 months ago
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Chores and Self Esteem
Chores are VITAL to the development of a healthy image of oneself. If you can remember your own childhood, and hopefully it was filled with chores, you can remember how good it felt to complete your work, see the results of your work, receive attention, and feel proud of your contribution to the family. Yes, you may have complained, whined, played games to get out of doing your chores (hid the laundry I was to iron ) and generally acted “like the child” you were, BUT if your parent was responsible in having you do chores, you gained invaluable lessons: perseverance, pride in a good well done, self-discipline, skills (cooking, cleaning, laundry, gardening, baby-sitting, pet care, on and on, as well as, respect for your family and your place in the family. I am a family counselor, and I see one of the most important lacks in families today is the lack of cooperative behavior in doing the work of the family. Parent’s expectations of their children have changed, and along with this change, has come a change in values. The good old-fashioned values mentioned above are still relevant and vital today in making strong families, and building healthy, and emotionally strong children.
Brenda D.Koplan | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Chores are a vital part of growing up
Having been a child and now as a parent I know that chores are an integral part of growing up, providing opportunities for children to gain in many ways, including and especially character, something which is highly overlooked these days. Having chores provides children the vehicle to gain mastery over skills necessary to become well-adjusted adults – learning responsibility, taking care of their pets and/or belongings and the self-esteem from a job well-done and the confidence that brings. It also engenders a ‘team’ spirit in the family and that everyone has a part to play and the importance of what they do as an individual and as being part of the larger whole. This translates into understanding the importance of retaining their individuality and still being a healthy contributing member of the community as an adult. It also encompasses communication and time spent with parents – working together and creating an environment for everyone to feel satisfaction and cohesiveness. Life is not a passive experience – and those who are taught to expect that it is will have many struggles and difficulties that could have been overcome by providing chores as the stepping stones and the arena where many of life’s concepts could be formed and nurtured to prepare children properly for their future.
Bonnie Bruce | 1 year, 4 months ago
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You guys are right on!
Wow, I thought responsible parents were a thing of the past. You folks are right on the money. Keep up the good work!
craig william fenoff | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Chores are a rite of passage
I own a small business involving the care and a management of clients’ personal homes and revenue properties. What I have noticed when my staff go into a home, that I have had to teach them how to make a bed properly, how to clean a toilet properly … these are young people in their late teens and early 20’s!
It saddens me greatly that parents fail to take the time or have the patience to teach their children the fundamentals of looking after themselves in terms of how to care for their own home, let alone someone else’s. Having been a step parent, foster parent and group home parent, I do feel that teaching children and youth how to care for their own property, and that of others (familial home, roommate situation or their own family home) is pivotal to how these young people will teach their own children. Though I retired from Social Service work five years ago, I don’t feel that I have, since I seem to be doing just that, with the training of my staff in the very basics of how to care for a home. These young peoples’ parents didn’t take the time, as they should have, and now they lean on me, on my time and my money, to teach their children. It saddens and frankly, angers me that I must continue to take on the responsibility, yet again, of what a parent has failed to teach their own children. Doing chores teaches self care, self pride, self discipline, consideration, how to share in the responsibilities of a home and family. All of this goes further into their communities and to the world in general. In my own family, I have had to read the riot act to my niece and nephew about cleaning up after themselves, in consideration of others, but the best I saved for last for my sister and brother in law – who can’t be bothered to follow through on ensuring these two young people do their chores. I have to laugh though, because now when they know I am coming over, they ensure that their bathroom is clean! or they snap to when they see my vehicle pulling into their driveway. Friends are the same … I don’t mind a messy house, but when you’ve got three children sitting at the computer, and your home is a pigsty, yep .. I’m gonna say something. Because one day I am going to be too old to do it myself, and god help me if it’s your child that’s caring for me!
The Domestic Goddess | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Why is this news?
I don’t understand why this is news. It sickens me that parents have taken ALL responsibility away from children. What has it gotten us? Let’s see: huge turnover rates amongst students because they don’t know how to work — bad attitudes because they don’t like anybody telling them what to do & that anybody is their boss — customer service that’s terrible because it causes them to go the extra mile — co-workers that don’t know how to cooperate or compromise, so the work is not done to a satisfactory level — bad spouses that expect EVERYTHING to be given to them — high divorce rates because of the bad spouses — the list is too long to name.
I just don’t understand why REAL parenting went out the window. Since when did the kids start running things & why? Ever realize that the parents give birth to the children & not vice versa? Ever realize that it’s that way for a reason? WE are supposed to parent (the verb) our children. They are not supposed to rule us. It’s up to us to teach them; at least that’s what my Bible says. We’re so busy trying to give our children things that can burn & be their friend that we’ve totally missed the boat. Now, we have a nation full of irresponsible idiots. What are they going to teach their children? It’s going to be a dreaded cycle if we all sit back and do nothing.
Also, it’s not up to just the parents. It takes a village to raise a child. It’s okay to give a child that you didn’t birth something to do. You won’t go to jail for it. You don’t know how much good you’re doing for a child when you make them feel like what they do matters.
Mama T | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Different opinion
As a child, my parents encouraged or sometimes forced me to do the chores. I hated it. Most of the times avoided it. I was told I was lazy. We lived with our grandparents who too enforced a lot of rules. Never did anything unless absolutely required. Now I am a scientist in a famous university in the US and the rest of the time activist and volunteer with different Human Rights organizations.
What really made an impact was that my parents were always active in the community, always helping people and were looked upon with a lot of pride by the community. That is what stuck with me. The drive to help others who cannot help themselves rather than forced child labor which is what I thought of those chore rules back then. Live by example!
Scientist4Obama | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Responsibilities
I have 2 girls: 13 and 5. They have required chores and they live. They understand how to take care of themselves in case I’m not around when they get older. How are our children supposed to be independent, responsible adults if we don’t teach them early on? Parents that don’t are only making their children suffer. They’re holding their children back from being good adults and citizens.
Heather Sullivan | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Makes me proud
I am all for children participating in household chores. It gives them a sense of belonging and contributing to the family. Don’t forget to praise them no matter how good the parents think the job was done. After a while the child can see their own accomplishment.
Melanie Craddock | 1 year, 4 months ago
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Be the change you want to see ...
I have a small farm. I used to trade rent of a $600/month apt for about 50 hours of work a month, less in the winter more in spring. It was the ideal job for a student working their way through college. They were hired as independent contractors. Initially I had very good responsible young people working for me. As time progressed I found that many were very good talkers and very poor workers. They took correction very poorly and if they didn’t get what they wanted they left. As I checked with other employers, I found they were having similar problems. It was a full employment economy so there were plenty of employers looking for employees. These young people walked off the job without notice, arrived late, etc. I finally gave up hiring young people and do the chores myself.
I have spent a large amount of time in the developing world. The work ethic there is amazing. Young people work side by side with parents on farms ( I disagree with the Western notion of all these children must be in school all day.) There is more to learn than classroom knowledge.What is most obvious is that not only do they enjoy work, they enjoy life. Our children have it easier and easier, are less and less responsible and less and less caring about others and less and less happy. There is a lesson here.
Now that unemployment is rising, and it becomes an employers market, I wonder what will happen.
Jan Newman MD | 1 year, 4 months ago
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