Posted on September 29, 2008 by Kathy McManus in All, Altruism, Children, Ethics, Internet, Parenting, Relationships Comments (24)
Children and Chores: How Much?
A new study has identified an emerging domestic threat that could be responsible for making future marriages teeter and prompting a decline in volunteerism and empathy.
The study is about children and chores.
University of Maryland Professor Sandra Hofferth—who is an expert on how children use their time—reports that 6 to 12 year-olds now spend an average of only 24 minutes a day doing household chores. That’s a 12% drop from 1997, and a 25% skid since 1981.
The chore-defying dive reflects “important behavioral and values shifts that will affect lives for years to come,” says Dr. Hofferth.
Doing household chores as a child turns out to be a major predictor of whether an individual does volunteer or community work as an adult, according to sociologists, who note that housework is an important teaching tool. And when it comes to domestic bliss, the distribution of domestic duties—grounded in childhood chores—can make or break a marriage.
According to experts, children’s chores are declining in part because they’re spending more time on reading, studying, and other activities. But even their parental role models are doing less work around the house, hiring help instead or simply letting chores chill.
Within days of the news that chore times had dropped like the Dow, a new website called NannysCircle.com began promoting itself as a novel solution to motivating kids by making a “virtual” game of chores. Instead of nagging Junior to feed the dog, parents log on and send a virtual note, which their child retrieves from his virtual room. In real life, the child supposedly feeds the dog, then emails his parents that the task has been completed.
But success may come at the expense of another domestic chore: parent-child communication. “You see the appeal,” wrote a reporter about the website. “Parenting, a messy series of weary battles that never seem to lead anywhere, becomes something that can be checked off and filed. No back talk. Just hit ‘send.’”
Tell us what you think: Should children be responsible for doing more chores? Are chore-less children really responsible for failed marriages and fewer volunteers? As a responsible parent, would you turn over chore supervision to a computer?
Comments (24)
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children & chores: how much?
I think everyone in today’s society is ‘too busy’ to focus on important issues like teaching our children about good work ethic. Along with the fact that our children are being expected to do more homework and more activities than that of former generations. This is causing we, as parents, to put important values like work ethic on the back burner. As a result we are seeing more and more ‘lazy kids’. I believe we parents need to place more importance in instilling a good work ethic in our kids in order to secure their own futures. I think more responsibility is in order for our children.
RE: children & chores: how much?
It seems to me that if children are engaged in a sport or doing homework rather than chores than they aren’t tending towards “laziness.” What is the difference between doing the dishes and doing your sums? Neither is something a child would do for fun and both are important. If a child trades household chores for schoolwork is he trading work ethic for work ethic?
The trouble comes, I would think, when children — when people — put off undesirable or important work for mindless, profitless exercises like watching television or surfing the internet.
Chores are important
I think chores are very important for our children. They need to learn that things don’t come for free. You have to work to get the desired things you want.
Chores will help teach them responsibility. Of course at that age, you don’t realize that your parents are teaching you valuable lessons.
Thank you!
Being a single mother who was once married to an irresponsible, lazy human being, I give my children quite a bit of responsibility. Nothing I find is too extreme and still less than what I had at their ages.
I have been told by a health care provide, a teacher and a vice principal (obviously I am active in their lives and close to the other adults that they interact with.) that some of these things are not the responsibility of my children! WHAT!
This article confirms my opinion on this matter. Thank you for putting it out there.
It's High Time!
I think it’s extremely important for children to have chores that must be completed first, before anything else happens. Many kids my son’s age (14) don’t really have any chores, mostly because they’re done by people outside the home. That to me is short-changing their values system, and makes many of them incapable as adults to “put in an honest day’s work.”
Failure to perform assigned tasks...
Failure to perform assigned tasks is an acceptable reason for dismissal from any company within the United States, as well it should be. One should have regular tasks at home, as well as work. I, myself, do the majority of the cooking, dishes, and do my fair share of the housework, and laundry. My children were expected to do their assigned tasks, first among them their studies and homework. Once those tasks were completed, they were also expected to do other chores around the home. My oldest graduated from college, got a job and got married, and finds her stunned by the total lack of commitment others show in the workplace. My second child is now a US Marine, and I know how he feels about those who shirk their duty. Our youngest is attending college locally and lives at home, and he is still expected to do homework and studying first and his chores second. Like both me and my wife, the task that needs to be done is done BEFORE “play” time begins.
Internet dependency
Children being responsible for doing more chores goes against everything they currently know these days since many working professional parents feel guilty about the lack of time they spend with their kids and let them be disrespectful and lazy, refusing to do chores and then the parents are hard pressed to enforce normal rules. Yes, I would assume that chore-fewer children might be responsible for the failures in their life.
As a parent I will admit that the chores have taken a back seat to the computer and I have to remind my kids to get off the computer and go outside and do their chores. Living in the city or suburbs limit outside chores kids can do.
In my time, I had to split wood, feed the horses, cattle, chickens, and stack the front porch with firewood before I got to eat. Most kids today have no idea what hard chores are!
Where to place the blame?
A 25% difference really isn’t that huge when you take into account things that make chores easier nowadays like dishwashers and cleaning solutions that don’t require any elbow grease. The need and sense of entitlement for immediate gratification is a problem for our society, but I argue that chore-less children are not the cause, but merely another symptom.
As for turning over chore supervision to a computer… I would not do that completely. But if my child grows up to use the computer often, I will use it partially. I can see it now – she’s watching a show on her computer, then a little pop up note comes up – she clicks on it then my voice kindly reminds her to get off her tush and weed the garden. I don’t see anything wrong with using the tools that reach out to our children. But of course, I would be there to make sure she followed through.
I would like to see a study on how much homework kids have now in comparison to 1981. I am guessing they have a lot more than before! Life is a lot less physically demanding for our kids than before, but it is more demanding for them now in other ways.
Children and Chores: how much?
Being a child of the 50’s I don’t find there is more homework these days for school kids. I had to go to the library or other sources for information relative to my homework assignments. Even reading the newspaper to be able to respond to questions my teachers might ask us about what was going on in the world from day to day. I grew up in a small city (Fairfield) of Alabama. Both parents worked so the kids had to pitch in and help keep the house clean, the yard clear and look out for each other. My grandkids get on the computer copy and paste and have what few assignments given them done in minutes.Even taking the ACT with a calculator. Critical thinking and deductive reasoning are lost arts for most. That’s how they have so much time to do nothing. Their minds are busy so if their hands are not busy doing responsible things they will be busy doing irresponsible things (Alcohol, drugs, sex).I don’t like the fact that taking responsibility for one’s actions is no longer considered a moral obligation.
I agree
Children need chores – and early. I was shocked to visit a friend’s house and see it a total mess. There were 3 adults and no children and their house looked like a tornado had been through it. I know for a fact that her mom did most all of the cleaning for her, even her laundry, until she left home. I was responsible for my room, my clothes, and shared responsibility for the rest of the home with my siblings. My children at 2 and 4 know to wipe up their spills, put dirty laundry in the washer, and pick up their messes. It’s hard to encourage them all the time and stay positive, and we do slack sometimes, but I know it is important for their future. They NEED responsibility and accountability and it needs to be taught young. No matter your homework, you should still be responsible in some way for your surroundings and keeping them clean. Children need to learn to cook (or they will be fast food adults), clean, and take care of their stuff. They don’t learn it from watching mom do it – they learn by doing it WITH mom.
where's the responsibility & appreciation?
I have a 10 and 13 year old. It is so important to implement chores/work ethic into our kids lives. Working equals earning, and I think today’s society for the most part, is slacking in the area of teaching our kids what it means to earn the things you want in life. Possessions don’t just get handed to you. The reality is you need to work hard and well to get the things you want out of life. No matter how much effort and reminders we as parents need to give our kids to do chores…and no matter how much complaining we hear from them, the truth is, it’s best for the kids to gain these skills. It builds character, it provides knowledge, and teaches appreciation. All of those things are so important for their future. Let’s not forget that they are our future.
Chores and Self Esteem
Chores are VITAL to the development of a healthy image of oneself. If you can remember your own childhood, and hopefully it was filled with chores, you can remember how good it felt to complete your work, see the results of your work, receive attention, and feel proud of your contribution to the family. Yes, you may have complained, whined, played games to get out of doing your chores (hid the laundry I was to iron ) and generally acted “like the child” you were, BUT if your parent was responsible in having you do chores, you gained invaluable lessons: perseverance, pride in a good well done, self-discipline, skills (cooking, cleaning, laundry, gardening, baby-sitting, pet care, on and on, as well as, respect for your family and your place in the family. I am a family counselor, and I see one of the most important lacks in families today is the lack of cooperative behavior in doing the work of the family. Parent’s expectations of their children have changed, and along with this change, has come a change in values. The good old-fashioned values mentioned above are still relevant and vital today in making strong families, and building healthy, and emotionally strong children.
Chores are a vital part of growing up
Having been a child and now as a parent I know that chores are an integral part of growing up, providing opportunities for children to gain in many ways, including and especially character, something which is highly overlooked these days. Having chores provides children the vehicle to gain mastery over skills necessary to become well-adjusted adults – learning responsibility, taking care of their pets and/or belongings and the self-esteem from a job well-done and the confidence that brings. It also engenders a ‘team’ spirit in the family and that everyone has a part to play and the importance of what they do as an individual and as being part of the larger whole. This translates into understanding the importance of retaining their individuality and still being a healthy contributing member of the community as an adult. It also encompasses communication and time spent with parents – working together and creating an environment for everyone to feel satisfaction and cohesiveness. Life is not a passive experience – and those who are taught to expect that it is will have many struggles and difficulties that could have been overcome by providing chores as the stepping stones and the arena where many of life’s concepts could be formed and nurtured to prepare children properly for their future.
You guys are right on!
Wow, I thought responsible parents were a thing of the past. You folks are right on the money. Keep up the good work!
Chores are a rite of passage
I own a small business involving the care and a management of clients’ personal homes and revenue properties. What I have noticed when my staff go into a home, that I have had to teach them how to make a bed properly, how to clean a toilet properly … these are young people in their late teens and early 20’s!
It saddens me greatly that parents fail to take the time or have the patience to teach their children the fundamentals of looking after themselves in terms of how to care for their own home, let alone someone else’s. Having been a step parent, foster parent and group home parent, I do feel that teaching children and youth how to care for their own property, and that of others (familial home, roommate situation or their own family home) is pivotal to how these young people will teach their own children. Though I retired from Social Service work five years ago, I don’t feel that I have, since I seem to be doing just that, with the training of my staff in the very basics of how to care for a home. These young peoples’ parents didn’t take the time, as they should have, and now they lean on me, on my time and my money, to teach their children. It saddens and frankly, angers me that I must continue to take on the responsibility, yet again, of what a parent has failed to teach their own children. Doing chores teaches self care, self pride, self discipline, consideration, how to share in the responsibilities of a home and family. All of this goes further into their communities and to the world in general. In my own family, I have had to read the riot act to my niece and nephew about cleaning up after themselves, in consideration of others, but the best I saved for last for my sister and brother in law – who can’t be bothered to follow through on ensuring these two young people do their chores. I have to laugh though, because now when they know I am coming over, they ensure that their bathroom is clean! or they snap to when they see my vehicle pulling into their driveway. Friends are the same … I don’t mind a messy house, but when you’ve got three children sitting at the computer, and your home is a pigsty, yep .. I’m gonna say something. Because one day I am going to be too old to do it myself, and god help me if it’s your child that’s caring for me!
Why is this news?
I don’t understand why this is news. It sickens me that parents have taken ALL responsibility away from children. What has it gotten us? Let’s see: huge turnover rates amongst students because they don’t know how to work — bad attitudes because they don’t like anybody telling them what to do & that anybody is their boss — customer service that’s terrible because it causes them to go the extra mile — co-workers that don’t know how to cooperate or compromise, so the work is not done to a satisfactory level — bad spouses that expect EVERYTHING to be given to them — high divorce rates because of the bad spouses — the list is too long to name.
I just don’t understand why REAL parenting went out the window. Since when did the kids start running things & why? Ever realize that the parents give birth to the children & not vice versa? Ever realize that it’s that way for a reason? WE are supposed to parent (the verb) our children. They are not supposed to rule us. It’s up to us to teach them; at least that’s what my Bible says. We’re so busy trying to give our children things that can burn & be their friend that we’ve totally missed the boat. Now, we have a nation full of irresponsible idiots. What are they going to teach their children? It’s going to be a dreaded cycle if we all sit back and do nothing.
Also, it’s not up to just the parents. It takes a village to raise a child. It’s okay to give a child that you didn’t birth something to do. You won’t go to jail for it. You don’t know how much good you’re doing for a child when you make them feel like what they do matters.
Different opinion
As a child, my parents encouraged or sometimes forced me to do the chores. I hated it. Most of the times avoided it. I was told I was lazy. We lived with our grandparents who too enforced a lot of rules. Never did anything unless absolutely required. Now I am a scientist in a famous university in the US and the rest of the time activist and volunteer with different Human Rights organizations.
What really made an impact was that my parents were always active in the community, always helping people and were looked upon with a lot of pride by the community. That is what stuck with me. The drive to help others who cannot help themselves rather than forced child labor which is what I thought of those chore rules back then. Live by example!
Responsibilities
I have 2 girls: 13 and 5. They have required chores and they live. They understand how to take care of themselves in case I’m not around when they get older. How are our children supposed to be independent, responsible adults if we don’t teach them early on? Parents that don’t are only making their children suffer. They’re holding their children back from being good adults and citizens.
Makes me proud
I am all for children participating in household chores. It gives them a sense of belonging and contributing to the family. Don’t forget to praise them no matter how good the parents think the job was done. After a while the child can see their own accomplishment.
Be the change you want to see ...
I have a small farm. I used to trade rent of a $600/month apt for about 50 hours of work a month, less in the winter more in spring. It was the ideal job for a student working their way through college. They were hired as independent contractors. Initially I had very good responsible young people working for me. As time progressed I found that many were very good talkers and very poor workers. They took correction very poorly and if they didn’t get what they wanted they left. As I checked with other employers, I found they were having similar problems. It was a full employment economy so there were plenty of employers looking for employees. These young people walked off the job without notice, arrived late, etc. I finally gave up hiring young people and do the chores myself.
I have spent a large amount of time in the developing world. The work ethic there is amazing. Young people work side by side with parents on farms ( I disagree with the Western notion of all these children must be in school all day.) There is more to learn than classroom knowledge.What is most obvious is that not only do they enjoy work, they enjoy life. Our children have it easier and easier, are less and less responsible and less and less caring about others and less and less happy. There is a lesson here.
Now that unemployment is rising, and it becomes an employers market, I wonder what will happen.
Yes to chores for kids
My husband did not allow me to assign chores to our kids, saying it was bad to take time away from school work. But they spent the time in other ways and did not do particularly well in school. I always had chores at home, and I did all the chores inside the home after marriage, too, even when I was working. (Apparently my parents-in-law had taken the same approach.) I notice with joy that my grandchildren do very well in school and that they also have chores at home.
I Go With What Works!
In my own opinion giving a child chores is a good and positive way to teach values and rewards. My son is an A and B student, speaks three languages, plays three instruments and spends 1.0 hour a day doing his chores. He also plays sports (golf) and (soccer). He is responsible for a 13 year old (as responsible as a 13 year old can be) and takes pride in what he does. I was raised doing chores with my brother and I learned a lot that helps me in life today. I think the touch and feel of actually completing a task and seeing the fruits of their hard work would be lost with a few key strokes. Please don’t get me wrong (Do what ever works for you as a parent) I know what works for me, and you have to find what works for you. Isn’t that what we are here for in the first place?
Great site Keep up the good work.
WOW!!
This is a really interesting subject…I was not made to do chores except on Saturday morning and it was the entire house with the entire family. I still can not stand to do household chores but have a very wonderful work ethic…I am often called “the hardest worker on the job site”. Then as a single mother of two girls and a son, there were things that had to be done everyday and I still didn’t want to do it so I always gave my children chores…Well I can honestly say, as a person that has “seen both sides of the issue” that chores are a great thing!!! My house is still always messy and my children’s homes are always immaculate!! They come to my house often and pick-up my house for me!! The outdoor chores are always done by me!! You see…I was raised as a tom-boy!!! Outdoors is where you will find me!!! Working on the farm when I was young and doing firewood and good old fashioned hard work OUTSIDE!!! No girlie clean the house for me!!! Now…here is another little twist for ya…I always did the dishes…I don’t mind that…can not stand dirty dishes…My kids all went out and bought themselves dishwashers cause that is the only mess you find in their houses!!! Silly isn’t it?!?!?
I must also remind everyone that a lot of work ethic comes from going to school everyday!!! As a child, and now as a parent, school was done everyday unless YOUR DYING!!! Too many people let their kids stay home because they don’t feel good…How are you going to learn to go to work everyday if you are not raised to get up every morning to go to school? You won’t!! Too many excuses are acceptable now a days!! Heck…most parents don’t even have their kids ride the bus anymore…“It is embarrassing to ride the bus…can’t you just drive me please?” You are teaching your children that they are above the kids that ride a bus even!! Deal with life on life’s terms…that’s my motto…Teach it to your kids and they will be productive caring adults too!!
EARLY TO BED…EARLY TO RISE…WILL MAKE YOU HEALTHY WEATHY AND WISE!!!
Do not be late for any appointments…ever…always be early…Get them up off their lazy butts…“oh its cold out” well I guess you better put more clothes on then cause out you go!! Oh and by the way…My children have excelled in the work environment and are loved by their co-workers and peers!! Good luck cause it ain’t easy…just rewarding!!
tough love gives lessons for life
As a professor of child psychology and a mother of two, there is no substitute for firm rules, affection, and responsibility to others and community. This doesn’t come from religion! It comes from the parents and family. In my work, I try to diffuse rationalization of why the easy road is better…Parents feel guilty if they “upset” their child…CHILDREN ARE NOT FRAGILE…In fact they are way more resilient than we give them credit for…they are working the system mat their own expense and no one is stopping them..Parents need to take time gain footing and step up to the plate!!!!!