Boomerangers: Back to Mom and Dad
In Australia they’re known as “kippers”—Kids in Parents’ Pockets Eroding Retirement Savings.
In America they’re called “boomerangers”—adult offspring who return to live with their parents, sometimes bringing a spouse and children, unable to financially make it on their own.
Everywhere they have been the stuff of sitcoms and punch lines: irresponsible losers adding to the sofa’s sag while subtracting from the kitchen cupboards.
But the freeloader image may be inadvertently falling away, a welcome casualty of the ongoing recession, which, in some cases, is helping reshape what it means to be a responsible American family in an era of mounting crises.
A married Utah couple who could no longer make ends meet moved into his parents’ basement. “Staying close to your family in times of need, that’s the most important thing in the economic crises,” the husband said. His wife added, “It’s sad that people feel like they can’t turn to their families for help, or they feel like there’s something bad in doing that.”
Boomerangers are now more likely to help than loaf, splitting the costs of food and shelter in their parents’ homes and sharing domestic responsibilities. “As Americans face tougher economic conditions, we’ll likely see more of this,” said a vice president for AARP, which recently analyzed census data and recognized some new changes in families. In the past year, more than a third of retirees have had to help their offspring pay bills. More adult children are living with their parents, continuing an upward trend since 2000. And the number of multi-generational households has increased from 5 million in 2000 to 6.2 million in 2008.
“Kin is becoming the safety net of last resort,” wrote one reporter, “in part because overwhelmed social service agencies are reaching their giving limits.” A social services expert added, “Families, friends and social networks are becoming more important ways that people are coping.”
Tell us what you think: Is it still parents’ responsibility to launch self-sufficient adult children into the world? What would you do if your adult kids wanted to move in and be bailed out?
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love one another
I think we should all love one another and help one another since we are one big family in the eyes of God. I think if we all used the Amish people as our role models, we would be much happier and live stress free and simple and not materialistic.
gail capo | 10 months, 1 week ago
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We are family ...
I moved back home after being on my own for 25 years. My work hours were reduced and I couldn’t afford my rent and help my mom with the mortgage. My mom is up in age and retired on a fixed income. It was a blessing for me to move back home when I did. When it comes to grocery shopping, my mother always wants to chip in; but I tell her don’t worry about it, we have to eat anyway. Plus I see things that need to be repaired and take care of it. We split the bills and I get free parking! My mom and I get along very well. Some people said it wasn’t going to work. I look at it like this; my mom took care of me when I was kid, now it is time for me to take of her.
teresa thompson | 10 months, 1 week ago
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Grateful ...
My daughter and son-in-law have moved in with my husband and me (stepfather to daughter). I lost my job and my husband’s job has cut back. We lost our house and truck due to this. We rent now and are sharing the cost with my daughter and son-in-law. They came to our rescue. I am going to be a grandma in November. I will also be a stay at home grandma so little shrimp won’t have to go to daycare and my daughter can go back to work without fearing about the care shrimp will get.
I am calling my grandbaby shrimp because when I saw the ultra sound it looked like a shrimp. I really believe that family should work with each other. I know that things do get better.
kim persyn | 10 months, 1 week ago
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Ms.
Yes, I do think it is my responsibility to take care of him. He has no job and in this state of the economy it is unlikely he can find anything considering his situation. He has been stripped of his driver’s license and this makes it impossible for him to get a job doing what he has trained all his adult life doing. The irony of the government thinking that by taking his driver’s license will make him pay his child support, have it all wrong. I believe they should support their children, but don’t take the only source they have in making a living to pay it away from them. If I don’t take my son in and help him he would be living on the streets homeless and I will not do that to him. He can help me do things around the house that I would have to hire someone to do and that helps me too. We are all in this together. We saved for our kids and now we can help them survive.
Peggy Redditt | 10 months ago
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MS.
We have always helped our family before this depression that everyone is calling a RECESSION! Our daughter is a single parent with two sons that divorced an abusive spouse that came from a prominent family. He filed bankruptcy and she was dumped with the debt several years ago and has never recovered. She is a hard working Hoosier that lost her job after 24 years. Her sons have both lost their jobs. One is going to college and is now unemployed.
Public help for families is necessary. Healthcare Cobra costs in this country are outrageous and unaffordable for someone that is working let alone for unemployed workers.
We need leadership in this country to stop helping other countries and put American first! Americans have been sold out by the officials that we elected! Isn’t anyone smart enough to realize that if you outsource all of the jobs to other countries to help the cost of corporations to stimulate the American economy? Where did they think they were going to get their tax dollars to hope up our services in this country? The U.S. is now becoming the third world country. They are destroying our hope as boomerangers and the hope of future generations!
Sandra Trimble | 10 months ago
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mildly disinterested
First off, there are some people out there that have no business whatsoever having sex and making babies in the first place because they are way too ignorant about the big picture. It depends largely on the individual parents aspirations, wants and needs. Some parents still are and always will want and have a need and use for one or more of their former “dependents” to “stick around”. Others it’s a case of well we’d love to have you visit any time but now way in hell do I have any room for you in my house anymore. Some people can’t stand to be around or work with others so it’s a matter of personal problems I suppose. But for the American public in general it’s as simple as this – no one says united we stand, divided we fall any more. Our youth doesn’t embrace that anyway I don’t think. Each generation has been desensitized to that over the course of the last 40 years. I don’t know who’s to “blame” for that anymore. I used to think it was the British behind all the engineering that was going on to dominate the world; but now I’m not so sure. Maybe it’s been the Asians blowing smoke up something all these years.
ghekko the lizard | 10 months ago
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Times are strained in my household
I hear everyone’s responses and I too thought it was something I would always embrace doing no matter what – help out my son financially whenever her needed it – until he moved back home a year ago.
I have been a single mom all of my son’s 23+ years and I raised him without any financial support, got him through college, paid all of his living expenses while he “lived on his own” for three years and now he’s been with me for a year, not working except part time and has decided to go back to school for his MBA so will be with me for at least another couple of years. The thing is I have been affording someone else’s life and development since I was 22 years old and would like a shot at doing something for myself, supporting myself and not my adult child without any conditions. How is it, if we challenge having to carry the burden when our kids are finally adults that we’re somehow not good parents?
The stress and daily weight of worry about making ends meet I never signed on for after my son finished college, and now our relationship is extremely poor which is so unfortunate because we used to be so close.
Lisa Pool | 10 months ago
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I would help ...
I would help any of my family members with anything.
Joan | 10 months ago
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can we help others. . .besides kin
I’ve been put into a situation where my son moved home (in a separate dwelling), was employed and last fall moved in an ex-girlfriend now-friend to help her out while trying to seek employment. He has been on probation since a drug conviction/suspended sentence. When time was nearly up and was paying for his freedom, the authorities made a visit and found 2-3 charges to send him to state prison to serve out his time. A the time I thought it ok to allow her and another friend share the premises paying rent and utilities. However this isn’t happening and don’t feel right about removing them however gracefully it could be done. Only the utilities have been their contribution up until now. They have broken the rent agreement and have little or no resources left. Now, I feel a little like a heel but shouldn’t considering my so-called generosity. What next is sure to be a two weeks notice I suppose? It is a simple decision, but very difficult to do knowing the circumstances.
tony briganti | 9 months, 4 weeks ago
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USA
Hey this is a very interesting article!
KeHoeff | 9 months, 3 weeks ago
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