Boomerangers: Back to Mom and Dad
In Australia they’re known as “kippers”—Kids in Parents’ Pockets Eroding Retirement Savings.
In America they’re called “boomerangers”—adult offspring who return to live with their parents, sometimes bringing a spouse and children, unable to financially make it on their own.
Everywhere they have been the stuff of sitcoms and punch lines: irresponsible losers adding to the sofa’s sag while subtracting from the kitchen cupboards.
But the freeloader image may be inadvertently falling away, a welcome casualty of the ongoing recession, which, in some cases, is helping reshape what it means to be a responsible American family in an era of mounting crises.
A married Utah couple who could no longer make ends meet moved into his parents’ basement. “Staying close to your family in times of need, that’s the most important thing in the economic crises,” the husband said. His wife added, “It’s sad that people feel like they can’t turn to their families for help, or they feel like there’s something bad in doing that.”
Boomerangers are now more likely to help than loaf, splitting the costs of food and shelter in their parents’ homes and sharing domestic responsibilities. “As Americans face tougher economic conditions, we’ll likely see more of this,” said a vice president for AARP, which recently analyzed census data and recognized some new changes in families. In the past year, more than a third of retirees have had to help their offspring pay bills. More adult children are living with their parents, continuing an upward trend since 2000. And the number of multi-generational households has increased from 5 million in 2000 to 6.2 million in 2008.
“Kin is becoming the safety net of last resort,” wrote one reporter, “in part because overwhelmed social service agencies are reaching their giving limits.” A social services expert added, “Families, friends and social networks are becoming more important ways that people are coping.”
Tell us what you think: Is it still parents’ responsibility to launch self-sufficient adult children into the world? What would you do if your adult kids wanted to move in and be bailed out?
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Parents helping children
In my opinion, it is my personal responsibility to continue to help my adult children (I am a 72 year old working widow) in this time of need in our country as much as I am able. I call it a responsibility, even though I dislike the connotation that I do this unwillingly or out of guilt feelings. I do it because my parents and my in-laws until the ends of their lives were always ready to help my husband and me to raise and support our children. They were not people of means, but they taught me that if you care for someone, family or friend, you help them as you can whether it is with a roof over their heads or food on their table.
margaret perez | 6 months, 1 week ago
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Family is more important than money
When I became a parent, I knew it was a lifetime commitment. My husband I have always helped our adult children when they needed it. I have had two of my adult daughters return to live with me in the past 8 years. They are both on their own now, but if they need to come back, they know they can. Families help each other, not matter what the cost or inconvenience.
Francine Hampton | 6 months, 1 week ago
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Nutrition Coordinator
I have had to help all three of my grown children at different points in their lives.
My oldest son would never ask, but on a trip to see him, I realized he was in need. He was riding a bike to work because he could not afford to pay taxes on his car. I got the information and paid them. I also put some money into his bank account. A few months later he sent a check to repay it.
I think if you raise your children to be responsible, when times are tough it’s ok to help them. It’s like pay it forward.
When you need it they will be there for you also.
Rosie
Rosie Mena | 6 months, 1 week ago
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OR vice versa
My situation is in reverse. I am the one that lost my job and my children are helping me. I worked to supplement my income and when I lost that and gas, fuel oil, and grocery prices had sky rocketed; I was hurting financially or at best, money is very tight. I have to make literally every penny count. We may have to go back to the days when families did stay and live together. A good example is the television sitcom of “The Walton’s”. When I was very young, my grandmothers, 3 of my aunts, 1 uncle, 3 cousins, my brother, Mother and Daddy, and me all lived together. Those who could do public work did. We had a small farm, raised our own food, had milk cows, chickens, (fried chicken every Sunday), fresh eggs, a garden for fresh vegetables, fresh pork and steaks, etc. Everyone pitched in to do all the chores, but when the chores were done, everyone played and spent time together. The majority of people weren’t competing to see who could have the most and the best. People were thankful to have a home, one car for the household, food and were willing to share and help their neighbor to have the basic needs. It really was the “good old’ days” when “people” were more important than self and things.
Sharon Petrea | 6 months, 1 week ago
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Parents bailing out kids
Blood is thicker than water so always protect your young if they fall on hard times. It also greatly depends on the kid, age and circumstance. If they have never needed help before and have fallen on hard times – absolutely. If it seems every other year they move back in, it might be time for some tough love.
michael brindley | 6 months, 1 week ago
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US
I understand because my son lives with me. I also help his family. I resent that I help my daughter in law; her family has more money then I do.
sandra aeschliman | 6 months, 1 week ago
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Ms
My adult son lived with me for awhile several years ago. It took some adjusting, but it brought us much closer and created a bond that will last forever. Now he says I have made it really hard for him to blow me off when I get old, both because of that and because I take care of my 96-year-old mother. I think it only helps family relationships to give a hand; you never know when you’ll need one yourself.
Sara Spitz | 6 months, 1 week ago
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What's so strange about this?
Until fairly recently, most American families lived close to each other, sharing land and farming responsibilities. It was not at all strange to find several generations living on one large farm. However, with the advent of industrialization, American families began to disintegrate. I see nothing wrong with adult children returning home and believe that family members of different ages can be of help to each other.
Susan Colmenares | 6 months, 1 week ago
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Retired
This is a sad time for children to be strapped with college bills and the only jobs available are ones that do not keep pace with the cost of living. We need to go back to being an industrialized nation. This is the only way for the masses to make a decent living. When I was a youth, a milkman could buy a new home and raise a family. Today, a college educated couple can’t afford a new home without losing it when the wife becomes pregnant. Something is wrong.
Cordell Carwile | 6 months, 1 week ago
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United States
Of course it is still the responsibility of parents to raise responsible children who are “self-sufficient”, who pay their own way by working to do so. Your second question has two parts – would you take in your grown children? And would you take in your grown children if the just wanted a bailout? The answer to the part one, “yes if possible and it were a step toward continuing self-sufficiency for the children” and other family members should help, too. The answer to part two is: “no – if one’s adult children are free-loading and just want a bailout, they should NOT be taken in… These are hard economic time and we ALL need to be sensitive to providing the help we can to those in need – family or not – who just need and want a “hand up” and not a “hand out”.
Michael J Lennon | 6 months, 1 week ago
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