Boomerangers: Back to Mom and Dad
In Australia they’re known as “kippers”—Kids in Parents’ Pockets Eroding Retirement Savings.
In America they’re called “boomerangers”—adult offspring who return to live with their parents, sometimes bringing a spouse and children, unable to financially make it on their own.
Everywhere they have been the stuff of sitcoms and punch lines: irresponsible losers adding to the sofa’s sag while subtracting from the kitchen cupboards.
But the freeloader image may be inadvertently falling away, a welcome casualty of the ongoing recession, which, in some cases, is helping reshape what it means to be a responsible American family in an era of mounting crises.
A married Utah couple who could no longer make ends meet moved into his parents’ basement. “Staying close to your family in times of need, that’s the most important thing in the economic crises,” the husband said. His wife added, “It’s sad that people feel like they can’t turn to their families for help, or they feel like there’s something bad in doing that.”
Boomerangers are now more likely to help than loaf, splitting the costs of food and shelter in their parents’ homes and sharing domestic responsibilities. “As Americans face tougher economic conditions, we’ll likely see more of this,” said a vice president for AARP, which recently analyzed census data and recognized some new changes in families. In the past year, more than a third of retirees have had to help their offspring pay bills. More adult children are living with their parents, continuing an upward trend since 2000. And the number of multi-generational households has increased from 5 million in 2000 to 6.2 million in 2008.
“Kin is becoming the safety net of last resort,” wrote one reporter, “in part because overwhelmed social service agencies are reaching their giving limits.” A social services expert added, “Families, friends and social networks are becoming more important ways that people are coping.”
Tell us what you think: Is it still parents’ responsibility to launch self-sufficient adult children into the world? What would you do if your adult kids wanted to move in and be bailed out?
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Father provider
I am dad to 11 children who I love very much. Six are adopted; five are my natural kids. I am 76 years old and just adopted my sixth one March 25, 2009. I lost my wife on August 3, 2008. Three of my kids have just moved back home with me and I have welcomed them. I have six bedrooms they are all full but if the rest of them gets down on their luck and needs to move back home they will be welcomed. A real dad loves his kids in bad financial times just as much as in good times.
A happy and proud dad in eastern Oklahoma.
Olton Cloud | 6 months, 1 week ago
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United States
In these tough times joining two households into one for some could be a two way street with in-laws who cannot drive and are in need of medical attention at least once a week. Doctor appointments or picking up prescriptions (which is a high expense), grocery shopping, ect.
With the average travel distance of 50 miles round trip and four children of our own to take care of, often this is a hard load to carry. Our households are not joined; we have discussed the issues on more than one occasion the pros and cons of moving in together.
Michele Walker | 6 months, 1 week ago
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Mother
I understand that grown children sometimes fall in hard times. And come back to their parents. Only thing I have a problem is when the grown kids spend their money on fun and frivolity at the parents’ expense. If a grown child comes back home, I expect them to do their share of house work and living expenses. The same if I had to move in with them. I would do my fair share. It is only fair. I know people fall into hard times and need help, but don’t take advantage of the people who are trying to help you.
jackie rodgers | 6 months, 1 week ago
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Will work for SPACE
I recently returned to the USA, after losing my job, and moved myself, wife and 11 year old step-son in with my parents, while storing my belongings in their garage and (unused) storage shed. I have some money put back, but want to save what I can so I can relocate to where I find my next job – hopefully.
I have been careful not to add to my folks’ bills and to off-set any expenses with cash, groceries, or assistance. While my father frequently offers to pay me for errands or services, I tell him to put the money away in case I need it someday.
It is unpleasant, living with one’s older parents – for them and you, at times. I have, however, been provided with great insight into their daily activities, general health, and eating habits.
I have seen a feeble side of them I was previously unaware of, which humbled me, and increased awareness of my own mortality.
I am able to do things for them they wouldn’t spend the energy to do for themselves however, and I am trying to be more of a blessing than a bother.
I am able to fix meals they would not prepare for themselves, and to clean where they were unable, and to repair that which they couldn’t.
I encourage them to get outside, and increase their level of exercise.
Sometimes, they even go for relaxing drives, and return fresh and energized – yet I still suspect they are occasionally going out to escape their offspring!
Ralph Amber | 6 months, 1 week ago
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Boomerangers and parent care.
Parents just naturally help out when financial problems hit. The parents who raised responsible children will be the ones who enjoy the Boomerangers’ (BR’s) return, with as much bill paying, rent sharing, food sharing, etc. as possible, and the kids getting back on their feet, waving goodbye, and going on their way.
The helicopter style parents, who were always protecting and never teaching their kids responsibility, will be stuck with the BR’s forever, and they deserve it.
Robert Russell | 6 months, 1 week ago
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Grandma
The Walton’s didn’t do so bad, family is important, No if they are just freeloading, it isn’t right, but if they help out, when being helped in times of crisis, its a good thing, it is a simple fact, if a man or woman love their children, and are thrown on hard times, by rejecting this idea, just could cause an outbreak of crime, specially when there is so much shown to glorify many that have a lot, that they just might not have earned, but got by a will, to know that family will still pull together is kind of heart warming, like my grandma used to tell me of, this comment does not cover dead beats, that use and drain parents physically, mentally, and financially, because they are too lazy to work at a McDonald’s because they have a college degree.
Myrlle Louise Knight | 6 months, 1 week ago
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Roads Director for Native Tribe
I have (2) two adults who are single; one has children but living with there father, and the other has (2) two kids with his girlfriend and their 3 children, my and myself. The son has the girlfriend and finally got a job but you know he’s not use of working. He’s momma’s boy. The older daughter works off and on and they have no sense of know what responsibility is. I tried to talk with them and also my wife tried talking with them but it seems to just go in one ear and out the other ear. I am trying to get them out but it seems that there afraid to try. So I am trying very hard to make them know that they have to make it on there own and not depend on my wife and me at all times.
Ray Koonuk,Sr | 6 months, 1 week ago
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Boomerangers
It is a sad situation for parents, however when we decided to become parents we knew our responsibility. It is true that the return of their sons or daughter back to the household place a great burden on the income of the family, sometimes longer then what one expect. I am going thru this situation right now and my wife and I are feeling the pinch in our economy. Taking care of our expenses and of our daughter and her son is not and easy situation. We deal with it the best way we can. What I ask them is to help in not wasting to much water when taking a bath, or when using it, turn off light and everything electrical when not in use and things like that. If they cooperate things can go easier.
Ramon Zayas | 6 months, 1 week ago
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"Boomerangers or Blessings?"
I think it’s wonderful to relive good old fashioned values, and that’s what families are all about: sticking together through thick and thin. Also, our family was part of a culture that continually advocates the bonding of families; it’s perfectly natural in the Amish and Old Order Mennonite culture to have “Grossdauddy houses” attached to the main houses. The grandparents nurture and train the children as well as the natural parents. We lived among a community that was close knit and the families were all well-rounded and perfectly content with this lifestyle. I think times seem bad to many, but it’s a great opportunity to reassess and help one another and the results are tremendously satisfying.
Elizabeth Harding | 6 months, 1 week ago
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Up to each person!
I do believe we are our brother’s keeper but our brother has to try his best at any age to make it. I would not let anyone that I knew needed help sleep under a bridge. However, I would not endanger myself not even for family! So I say it is up to each person. I would help – YES!
Era Flowers | 6 months, 1 week ago
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