Babies in the Bar
So this baby walks into a bar, and …
Well, the baby didn’t actually walk into the bar—it was in a stroller, pushed by its mother, who was going to have a drink or two with some other moms who brought their kids, and…that’s why this is no joke.
There’s a bar fight brewing across the country. In Seattle, Austin, Philadelphia, Boston and beyond, bar patrons are getting lathered up on both sides of a polarizing parenting issue: is it responsible (or even acceptable) to belly up to the bar with young children in tow?
Those opposed to the mix of cocktails and sippy cups have posted their unequivocal sentiments on numerous online message boards and blogs, like this one in Philadelphia: “I do not want to be in a bar around children. Ever. Bars are for adults.”
Stroller grid-lock has been increasing in bars—often under signs that say “No One Under 21 Admitted”—along with the irritation of patrons who object to shoving crayons out of the way of their cosmos.
Those pushing for more kids in more bars are usually the same people pushing the strollers: mothers of the pre-school set, who say: “We want to do everything we always did, but with our babies.”
So when the owner of a bar in Brooklyn recently posted a “Please No Strollers” sign, he opened yet the latest front in the battle of the bottle. Moms seethed, while critics— like this one in Tucson —applauded: “Grow up, people,” she wrote. “Your lives are different now.”
Tell us what you think: Are we lowering the responsibility bar by allowing kids in the neighborhood bar?
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Comments
Child free is my choice.
I admire those that have had the opportunity to raise a family in any circumstance. I chose not to have children due to the lack of mature and responsible partner, because raising a child is not about ME or for ME, and I could not do it alone. Therefore, I have the freedom to live my life as I see fit. I would never impose a crying child on bar patrons looking for a peacefull escape. I do not believe we are a mother/child hating society (look at all our social services!) but there should be LIMITS! Think about your kids and the folks in the bar, not about yourself and the life you wish you still had.
nicweiss | 1 year, 11 months ago
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If we want a responsible society, then I suggest we quit banning, judging, condemning and otherwise tormenting others for values and choices that don’t match our own. Some neighborhood bars do have a family atmosphere. Others don’t. I trust my fellow humans to make choices they believe are right, and to learn from their choices so they can choose again. Oh, and yes, I’m a mom.
Penina S. Finger | 1 year, 11 months ago
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Get over yourselves
America is so prude. In Europe even tots go to Discos with their parents and dance and hang out and there is no drinking or drug problem there because kids are exposed to things in a sensible manner. If there is no smoking in bars anymore in the US there is no problem with a mom having a drink with her stroller. Get over yourselves. I doubt that moms are carousing at midnight with their kids in tow. It’s the same backwards mentality that frowns about public breastfeeding. Children have the same rights as adults. Please. Moms can do everything with their tots!
Working Mommy | 1 year, 11 months ago
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The bar is not the world
Mom’s (or Dad’s) you don’t HAVE to go and get an alcoholic drink for lunch – you WANT to. There are many better places to meet for adult intereaction. Take your kid to a park, library, etc. Why a bar? It’s because your selfish. (Oh, and kids in Europe don’t go to Disco’s with their parents) Children don’t have the same rights as adults and mom’s CAN’T do everything with their tots…
Mark | 1 year, 11 months ago
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COME ON
First of all, I have three children. I don’t drink, and NEVER would if I had the kids with me. But, there have been times when I was picking my husband up from a bar when I had to bring the youngest two kids-BRIEFELY-into the bar to tell my husband I was there to take him home. And there have been times when rude people have told me I couldn’t stand in the door and tell my husband I was there to get him. Which is wrong. I have every right to go in, get my spouse, and get out in two minutes or less to take him home.
Now, I think a woman should be able to enjoy a beer, or glass of wine-and I do mean ONE glass-on occasion. I’m sure one cup doesn’t hurt anything, but I do have one problem here. Do these women know that second hand smoke can cause asthma and other problems with their kids? Shame on them. They can have their cups of wine somewhere that smoking is not allowed. And again, more than one cup should be prohibited unless there is a person to take care of the kiddies and to drive too.
celeste | 1 year, 11 months ago
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just a mom
I am a mother of two children. And i do like to go out on occasion and have a few drink and have a good time… but i wouldn’t ever think about bringing my child into a bar. A bar is not a place for a child… but i do understand if the parents are wanting to take their child to a “restaurant/bar” like applebee’s or tgi friday’s or a family type atmosphere that happens to have a bar and/or serves alcohol. I do not see anything wrong with a parent having a drink at lunch or dinner with the child present as long as it in done in moderation. I don’t think the parents should be toting their child down to the corner bar to have a drink… where it is not a family atmosphere… its a drinking one… and i don’t think a child should be introduced to that until they are mature enough to understand it.
But i do not see anything wrong with have a drink in front of a child… heck… you can get a beer at Chuck E Cheese nowadays! Just be responsible about it.
kitty | 1 year, 11 months ago
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esperanza city
I used to go with my mom to the bar back in a small town where I was born. But we only went for lunch and they all were very close to us like family. I have fond memories of having cherry coke filled with maraschino cherries( I was pretty spoiled by them all). But things have changed now.I would never take my kid to a bar with strangers drinking.I won’t even take them to the well known bar/family restaurants, it just doesn’t feel right. I take them with me to friends or family while we have a few drinks and I NEVER drive after I drink even if it’s only 1 drink.But I can do this because I know who they are and HOW the handle their alcohol. I really can’t believe people want their kids around other people who are looking to “hook-up”.I can imagine how uncomfortable it would be for the people without kids so why isn’t it uncomfortable for the parents? I can also kind of imagine them to be the kind of Grandparents that don’t like to be called By those terms but called as their names and the candles on the cake stay at 30 for like 15 years or so. ;)
Tamara Arano | 1 year, 11 months ago
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What is a bar?
I agree with Bill- we need to define our terms. I remember reading an article about these Brooklyn parents bringing their babies to the bar with them- I think it was a microbrewery/restaurant type of place. Bringing an infant to a place like that in the middle of the day or late afternoon after a walk in the park to meet up with friends and have maybe one drink, or a cup of coffee or a snack, I personally see no problem with that. Once these kids are toddlers, they should not be running around in a bar. It not an appropriate place for a child. These parents need to be considerate of the other patrons who may very well be there trying to get a break from their own children.
As for wanting to live their lives the same way they did before that had children, that is just not realistic. Once you have children, your life changes, there is no use pretending that it doesn’t.
Jen Yarrin gton | 1 year, 11 months ago
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What's wrong with kids in bars?
I remember a day when people didn’t need signs and laws to tell them how to behave. You knew how to do it and if you didn’t, you’d get a pounding. I grew up in bars, my dad drank. A lot. And when I was with him two weekends a month we’d go to the bar and hang out. To this day I can’t get enough pretzels! I didn’t grow up to be a mean drunk. I can stop being mean anytime I want. I say, let ‘em in and keep the milk shots coming. Would you rather your babies be hanging out in a bar without you?
Drunky McDrunkson | 1 year, 11 months ago
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Right to Refuse
Of course bars should be allowed to refuse service to moms with strollers in tow if they have a sign stating that no one under 21 is admitted. That’s ridiculous. If it says no one under 21, that’s what it means. No exceptions. Anything else is violating the right of the establishment to refuse service to anyone for any reason AND protect themselves to comply with Federal alcohol sale laws
Besides that, a woman (or anyone, for that matter) who kept a child in a bar, strip club, or similarly “adult” place of business is at risk of being indicted for child endangerment.
There’s a big difference between a restaurant and a bar. Not allowing children into restaurants is annoying, but legally plausible. There’s no basis at all, however, for allowing children in an establishment that only serves alcohol. If there was, there wouldn’t be zoning laws about bars and schools.
Finally, I must agree with the posters who have said that your life changes when you have children. You wouldn’t expect to take your infant on horseback or roller coasters or scuba diving because they are considered dangerous to the child; why would you expect to bring your child into what other adults consider a dangerous situation without a fuss?
Mommy of Two | 1 year, 11 months ago
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