Babies in the Bar
So this baby walks into a bar, and …
Well, the baby didn’t actually walk into the bar—it was in a stroller, pushed by its mother, who was going to have a drink or two with some other moms who brought their kids, and…that’s why this is no joke.
There’s a bar fight brewing across the country. In Seattle, Austin, Philadelphia, Boston and beyond, bar patrons are getting lathered up on both sides of a polarizing parenting issue: is it responsible (or even acceptable) to belly up to the bar with young children in tow?
Those opposed to the mix of cocktails and sippy cups have posted their unequivocal sentiments on numerous online message boards and blogs, like this one in Philadelphia: “I do not want to be in a bar around children. Ever. Bars are for adults.”
Stroller grid-lock has been increasing in bars—often under signs that say “No One Under 21 Admitted”—along with the irritation of patrons who object to shoving crayons out of the way of their cosmos.
Those pushing for more kids in more bars are usually the same people pushing the strollers: mothers of the pre-school set, who say: “We want to do everything we always did, but with our babies.”
So when the owner of a bar in Brooklyn recently posted a “Please No Strollers” sign, he opened yet the latest front in the battle of the bottle. Moms seethed, while critics— like this one in Tucson —applauded: “Grow up, people,” she wrote. “Your lives are different now.”
Tell us what you think: Are we lowering the responsibility bar by allowing kids in the neighborhood bar?
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Get a babysitter
Bars are for adults ONLY. Period. Nothing else to say.
Chrissy Reed | 1 year, 11 months ago
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drink responsibly
Let’s just hope that NONE of these moms are drinking and driving, at all not even one drink and especially not with kids in tow. And as far as wanting to do everything they did before becoming parents with their babies…that is just not acceptable. Some things are not meant to be done with your kids. Seriously, get a sitter or get over it. This is, however, assuming that the bars we’re talking about are BARS, not restaurants with bars in them. and in that case babies STILL should NOT be AT the bar. I am a very young mom of two kids and while most people my age live at bars and clubs I would never even think about compromising the safety of my child by taking them to a place full of drinking adults. It’s absurd to think any parent feels like taking a child to a bar is appropriate.
Gina Buckley | 1 year, 11 months ago
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Drinking Responsibly
The question shouldn’t be about moms drinking, it’s just how and when they do it. I’m 18. I have a 2 and a 3 year old sister. My parent’s drink, AFTER the kids go to bed. I think that it would be socialy acceptible for a group of mom’s to go to a bar and talk about mom things or whatever hit they’re fancy. But most people drink to change the state they’re in, and you shouldn’t be impairing yourself, even just a little, when your responsible for the life a child. So if you want to have a drink, scedule a time to do it – hire a baby sitter or tell your spouse/signifigant other, and it would be preferable to do it after your children are asleep for the night. Parenting shouldn’t hinder your social life, but your children should take a higher priority than yourself.
Christopher Steven Wise | 1 year, 11 months ago
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Parental Oppression?
I’m a little stunned at the concept that taking a child to a bar would help stem depression in mothers. Oh, please.
Donna | 1 year, 11 months ago
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i don't care.
When i go get drunk, i don’t want no1’s child staerring at me. Bars should be child-free zones.
cesar colón-lachine | 1 year, 11 months ago
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Sure! Beer for Everyone!
I have 3 small boys. I became pregnant with my oldest at the age of 19 and when that happened I knew it was time to grow up! Look, if you wanna drink with your kids around, do it at home, in the safety of your own home! That’s what my husband and I do. If we’re not able to get a babysitter to go out, then we stay in, put the kids to bed and watch a movie and drink. It’s called thinking of your child’s welfare. Quit being selfish and put them first! So yes I do agree with Terrance when he says the parents should be jailed because all your doing is promoting alcoholism. Won’t you feel great when your child grows up and gets behind the wheel and kills someone from a DUI? I know I’d be devastated because I try to instill morales within them.
ALmom | 1 year, 11 months ago
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What's a bar, and whose morals are right?
I think we first need to clarify what we are referring to as a “bar” when we post comments. If the establishment has no other purpose other than serving alcoholic beverages (and the occasional cheese sandwich or nasty mixed nuts), it should be held to a different standard than the “mainly a bar but also has a restaurant” as some of the microbreweries in my area are, or the “mainly a restaurant which also has a bar” like a TGI Friday’s.
Ultimately, it’s up to the business owner to determine the standards to which he wants to hold his establishment. While I’d really like to apply my own morals to the situation, and I’d be the first to shout from the nearest rooftop what I think of mothers who bring children into bars, it’s not up to me to impose my morals on the rest of society. If the business owner wants to stay in business, he’ll do what the majority of right-minded people in the community want done, within the boundaries of the law and child safety standards. The business owner should determine, based on the environment of his establishment, what the age of the patrons should be. So when the sign says “Must be 21 or older to enter” that should apply to little kids as well, because it’s not just the alcohol, but the environment, that we are restricting to adults.
We can’t prevent mothers from teaching children bad things, including teaching them what happens to mommy when she pounds a few back. Unless, of course, the mother puts the child in danger, in which case it’s up to us to have CPS intervene. But while we have the freedom to teach our children the moral and spiritual lessons that we want, so too do bad mothers have the same right. It works both ways.
Bill | 1 year, 11 months ago
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Partitioning our lives
So what’s the end goal here? Keeping kids away from anything that’s not padded and secured? Why don’t other cultures seem to have a problem with the generations mixing in a pub or a bar or what have you? I spent my 20’s surrounded by my peer group and guess what! It’s boring! Bring the kids with you and don’t overindulge. Be selective about which bar you’re taking them into – pick a friendly place that serves food and not smoke (obviously). Hey, maybe they’ll get to talk to someone who’s even older than you, or dance to the live music, or have an adventure. Don’t let their first exposure to the drinking culture be with kids their own age and a swimming pool full of grain alcohol. Let them see how people handle it. Integrate your lives a little!
Stephanie | 1 year, 11 months ago
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adult experiences?
Parents shouldn’t be having “adult experiences” with their children. If they wish to socialize with kids in tow, they should go somewhere kid-friendly, where the kids can socialize with other kids in a safe, stimulating environment while the moms and dads mingle. A bar is not such a place. If mom and dad want to go to a bar, hire a babysitter. As for bar owners, if the law does not allow kids under 21 to enter the establishment, call the cops. Even if no laws are being broken, owners have the right to refuse service and can take a stand by not serving parents with young children. Let them call foul all they want—everyone knows that bars are no place for kids!
KLG | 1 year, 11 months ago
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"Oppressed Parents"
…and other misnomers. It’s interesting to me that the words “normal adult experience” were used. There are many “normal adult experiences” that are inappropriate for children. Hence the words, “adult experience”. If a mother is depressed because of the grief she’s getting from taking baby into a bar so she can have her “adult experience”, I’d say that mother has several more pressing reasons to be depressed.
Lani | 1 year, 11 months ago
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