America’s Worst Mom?
Mothering without smothering.
That’s the responsible balance Lenore Skenazy was seeking when she recently allowed her 9-year-old son to ride the New York City subway alone for the first time.
As a writer for the New York Sun newspaper, Skenazy penned a column about why she fully supported young Izzy’s desire to undertake his solo ride-of-passage. “Over-protectiveness is a danger in and of itself,” she wrote. “A child who thinks he can’t do anything on his own eventually can’t.”
Armed with a map, a subway fare card, and emergency cash but no cell phone, Izzy navigated the underground, transferred to a city bus, and arrived home, unescorted and unperturbed.
The kid was exhilarated.
The mother was excoriated.
“Sending your nine-year-old on the subway alone: child abuse?” begged a typical newspaper headline. A radio show caller wondered how Skenazy could give her son “a day of fun that would probably end in death.” And on the Today Show, an introduction to her was point-blank: “Is she an enlightened mom, or a really bad one?”
Bad or good, Skenazy had re-ignited an old debate about determining when a child is old enough to take on the world alone. In a follow-up newspaper column she titled “America’s Worst Mom?” Skenazy wrote, “People kept pulling me aside to say that they had been allowed to get around by themselves as kids.” But there was a dramatic generational twist. “In the next breath they admitted: They would never let their kids do the same.”
All of which prompted America’s worst mom to launch a blog called Free Range Kids, which she hopes will also launch a movement of “sane parenting.” Free Range’s mission statement gives a nod to protection—“We believe in helmets, car seats and safety belts”—but also a wink to future solo subway-riding kids: “We do NOT believe that every time school age children go outside, they need a security detail.”
Tell us what you think: What’s the responsible way to take off the training wheels and let kids go solo into their everyday world?
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Mom Knows
I believe only a mother who raised her child and taught him how to get around would know when he was ready to do so. My son at 9 months on the way back from shopping would cry and point down our street if I passed it by. Men are explorers by nature. Inner- city living and subways is what is not natural. Would this Incident have made the news if the boy had found his way home through the country? Our ancestors sent boys that age out to farm and hunt all day.
Rebecca Walker | 3 months, 3 weeks ago
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the deal is?
I ASKED my parents to leave my home alone when I was six ,because my brother was bothering me, if a six year old can handle herself in a inner city communty ,why can’t a street wise nine year old ride the sub way home ? I didn’t have a cell phone heck didn’t know what one was until middle school if the kid was ready so what, calling her a bad mother is insulting to mothers who let their kids have FREEDOM ,what because my own mother didn’t put a dog tag and a “if found please call” number around my neck every time I went out side she’s lousy ? that’s what you’re saying here ,true we have more sick perverts but it’s called kicking screaming and calling for help, come on people like only two of us in the entire world would do the right thing and help a kid
Nikki | 3 months, 3 weeks ago
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america's worst mom
I believe that Ms. Skenazy is an excellent mom. She is teaching her son to be independent and her son will be more able to navigate his way around the city than some overprotected pansy whose mommy does not let him/her do anything on his/her own. I believe parents should make their children do things on their own beginning at six years of age. Children in this society are too overprotected.
grace m. williams | 3 months, 2 weeks ago
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Mom
It’s interesting that, no matter what a mother does, she is wrong. You protect your children and you are accused of coddling a child to become co-dependent. You give your child some freedom to explore and find their independence and you are neglectful. There are, of course, extremes in both directions, but in general, parents are vilified no matter what they do.
Fran B | 3 months, 1 week ago
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Worst Mom in the World = Bullshit
I completly disagree with the title that this mother got: “America’s worst mom.” The mother wanted to teach her son on how to rely on himself rather then always going to the mom or dad for help. New york, i feel, isn’t a dangerous place, you just have to be aware of your surroundings and you’ll be ok. I feel like New York is a very independent town because everyone is doing their own thing and going to where they need to be. It is horrible for the world to give this mom such a name. Every mom has their own opinion. Since I had a single parent basically my whole life, yeah my mom was very protective of me going places but as i grew older, littlle by little she let go. And even though she still worries about me she knows that she taught me everything and hopes i make the right decisions in life. I give a lot of credit to this mom for giving the freedom to this boy who is pretty young. I feel the worst mom in the world is a mom who doesn’t pay attention to their child and doesn’t care where they go or anything, this woman was just trying to teach her son on how to rely on himself and to know his surrondings.
Rebecca Sheppard | 3 months ago
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