America’s Worst Mom?
Mothering without smothering.
That’s the responsible balance Lenore Skenazy was seeking when she recently allowed her 9-year-old son to ride the New York City subway alone for the first time.
As a writer for the New York Sun newspaper, Skenazy penned a column about why she fully supported young Izzy’s desire to undertake his solo ride-of-passage. “Over-protectiveness is a danger in and of itself,” she wrote. “A child who thinks he can’t do anything on his own eventually can’t.”
Armed with a map, a subway fare card, and emergency cash but no cell phone, Izzy navigated the underground, transferred to a city bus, and arrived home, unescorted and unperturbed.
The kid was exhilarated.
The mother was excoriated.
“Sending your nine-year-old on the subway alone: child abuse?” begged a typical newspaper headline. A radio show caller wondered how Skenazy could give her son “a day of fun that would probably end in death.” And on the Today Show, an introduction to her was point-blank: “Is she an enlightened mom, or a really bad one?”
Bad or good, Skenazy had re-ignited an old debate about determining when a child is old enough to take on the world alone. In a follow-up newspaper column she titled “America’s Worst Mom?” Skenazy wrote, “People kept pulling me aside to say that they had been allowed to get around by themselves as kids.” But there was a dramatic generational twist. “In the next breath they admitted: They would never let their kids do the same.”
All of which prompted America’s worst mom to launch a blog called Free Range Kids, which she hopes will also launch a movement of “sane parenting.” Free Range’s mission statement gives a nod to protection—“We believe in helmets, car seats and safety belts”—but also a wink to future solo subway-riding kids: “We do NOT believe that every time school age children go outside, they need a security detail.”
Tell us what you think: What’s the responsible way to take off the training wheels and let kids go solo into their everyday world?
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Mom Knows
I believe only a mother who raised her child and taught him how to get around would know when he was ready to do so. My son at 9 months on the way back from shopping would cry and point down our street if I passed it by. Men are explorers by nature. Inner- city living and subways is what is not natural. Would this Incident have made the news if the boy had found his way home through the country? Our ancestors sent boys that age out to farm and hunt all day.
Rebecca Walker | 7 months, 3 weeks ago
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the deal is?
I ASKED my parents to leave my home alone when I was six ,because my brother was bothering me, if a six year old can handle herself in a inner city communty ,why can’t a street wise nine year old ride the sub way home ? I didn’t have a cell phone heck didn’t know what one was until middle school if the kid was ready so what, calling her a bad mother is insulting to mothers who let their kids have FREEDOM ,what because my own mother didn’t put a dog tag and a “if found please call” number around my neck every time I went out side she’s lousy ? that’s what you’re saying here ,true we have more sick perverts but it’s called kicking screaming and calling for help, come on people like only two of us in the entire world would do the right thing and help a kid
Nikki | 7 months, 2 weeks ago
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america's worst mom
I believe that Ms. Skenazy is an excellent mom. She is teaching her son to be independent and her son will be more able to navigate his way around the city than some overprotected pansy whose mommy does not let him/her do anything on his/her own. I believe parents should make their children do things on their own beginning at six years of age. Children in this society are too overprotected.
grace m. williams | 7 months, 1 week ago
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Mom
It’s interesting that, no matter what a mother does, she is wrong. You protect your children and you are accused of coddling a child to become co-dependent. You give your child some freedom to explore and find their independence and you are neglectful. There are, of course, extremes in both directions, but in general, parents are vilified no matter what they do.
Fran B | 7 months, 1 week ago
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Worst Mom in the World = Bullshit
I completly disagree with the title that this mother got: “America’s worst mom.” The mother wanted to teach her son on how to rely on himself rather then always going to the mom or dad for help. New york, i feel, isn’t a dangerous place, you just have to be aware of your surroundings and you’ll be ok. I feel like New York is a very independent town because everyone is doing their own thing and going to where they need to be. It is horrible for the world to give this mom such a name. Every mom has their own opinion. Since I had a single parent basically my whole life, yeah my mom was very protective of me going places but as i grew older, littlle by little she let go. And even though she still worries about me she knows that she taught me everything and hopes i make the right decisions in life. I give a lot of credit to this mom for giving the freedom to this boy who is pretty young. I feel the worst mom in the world is a mom who doesn’t pay attention to their child and doesn’t care where they go or anything, this woman was just trying to teach her son on how to rely on himself and to know his surrondings.
Rebecca Sheppard | 6 months, 3 weeks ago
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working mom
hay kids have to understand your dooing the best you can. and ti you mom to mom its called your making decisions because looking at things you are the captain unless the kids are going to have a better plan
martha estadda | 3 months ago
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I rode the trolley by myself at age 9
I remember my Mom putting me on the trolley at about age 9, by myself, and riding it into downtown Pittsburgh to meet my Dad for lunch and Christmas shopping. This was before cellphones. I was told what stop to get off and trusted to do the right thing. Has the world changed that much or are we just innundated with all of the bad in it because of the media? As parents we must make that decision every day as to what is right for our children. Who’s to say what is right or wrong? we seem to only care if something goes wrong.
Amy Burnett | 2 months, 4 weeks ago
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What's wrong with a little white lie?
Myself I would, w/o my childs knowledge, ask a person your child did not know or recognize and step in as as spy and go along.
Pay for the trip and have them make sure they keep a close eye on the situation etc. I suppose it would be wise to match the gender for the sake of restroom visits. (recall the awfulabduction in a casino restroom in vegas years ago)
So that is my call on it all.
Great idea although it can be done with a better safe and protective plan like such.
E Hall
E lizabeth Hall | 1 month, 1 week ago
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forgot to mention
Just wanted to add another comment to the already one prior.
If you saw the movie Taken then you know how dangerous this world can be for a child or young adult. Chilling movie.
E Hall
Elizabeth Hall | 1 month, 1 week ago
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Cps takes it to far forcing parents to be over pro
Cps takes it to far forcing parents to be over protective yet they put out children in foster homes with people that smoke in the vehicle or around our children. Or worse your child is covered in bruses and is getting hurt falling of toys, jumping off the beds, climbing on things or walking in to doors and walls. And cps says “Oh that’s okay, yet your child was ripped from your home his father and brothers because he fell of his bike. While playing outside under supervision. Or Your ex can take your children around sex affenders, and hit them, abuse them in every way, but again rip them from you and their siblings, because you ask that they help with costs for transportation to their visits and counciling to deal with of their abuse of your child. And they get away with lying to the legal system, forging documents, fabricating lies, making it financially impossible to support yourself let alone your family. They will even tell you that you can not get married or have more children without their promission and if you do they then destroy your life and that of your family’s.
Cps will destroy the good families for money but will leave the children in families that due drugs, rape and abuse them.
Shakiea | 1 month, 1 week ago
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