Posted on April 22, 2008 by Kathy McManus in All, Ethics, Internet Comments (7)
Tattletales
If you knew that all of your interactions with people were being publicly scrutinized—your (rude) driving…your (cheap) restaurant tipping…your (gasp!) dating behavior—would you act more responsibly?
Big Brother isn’t watching. But small websites are.
Drivehonest.com, Dont date him girl.com, Bitterwaitress.com, I Saw Your Nanny.blogspot.com
They’re called “tattletale” or “shame” sites. Dozens in number—we recently told you about the blog I Saw Your Nanny —the sites are e-free-for-alls for what some call others’ unacceptable behavior.
Cut someone off in traffic? Look for yourself on the Top Ten Jerks list at drivehonest.com, where the anonymous driver you offended can take revenge by posting your license plate number and a photo of your vehicle for all to see.
Not nice to your ex-girlfriend? It’s payback time on dontdatehimgirl.com, where women wreak havoc by naming names and telling tales of two-timing boyfriends and husbands, posting pictures—and plenty of vitriol.
Proponents of the sites say the public humiliation forces offenders to take responsibility for bad behavior they would otherwise get away with. When bitterwaitress.com blasted celebrity Bounty Hunter Duane “The Dog” Chapman and rocker David Lee Roth for being lousy tippers, the naming and shaming was picked up by numerous media outlets across the U.S.
But critics argue that the mostly anonymous sites need accountability. A 62 year-old Arizona accountant was surprised to find himself on bitterwaitress.com for leaving a $2 tip on a $16.82 pizza order—especially since it was take-out. “It’s incredible that people can say bad things about people that may or may not be true, and here it is online for everyone to see,” said the man. “There’s no way of stopping it, and there’s no way to refute it. Where does it end?”
Tell us what you think: Have you ever posted something on a tattletale site? Or been posted about yourself? Is the anonymity factor a call to do the right thing, or an invitation for abuse?
Comments (7)
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Tattletale sites
I have never heard of these, but I think that people should be able to post how they feel on sites like these. I also think that they should be moderated, as most people would probably post in the heat of the moment, and then regret what they posted later.
What's the point?
Frankly, I see no point to these websites. If someone cuts you off in traffic, are you seriously going to take the time to write down the license plate number and take a photo? If you ask me, I would say that these sites are for people who have nothing better to do with their lives but make other people look bad. I don’t really think that a site like the ones you are talking about are what we could call “ethical.” I don’t think they are even protected under the Constitution. Accidents happen. Are you going to humiliate someone because of an accident. About the ex-girlfriend site. If you break up with a guy, that should be the end of it, is it really worth milking it all over the internet? So, that’s my view on this issue. There’s really no point to the sites.
Old thoughts
My Grandfather once told me never do anything you are ashamed of. I try to live by that thought. As for tipping I would want to go to that restaurant and not tip that waitress just because. Tipping is not a requirement and a low or no tip is a sign of poor waitressing.
RE: Old thoughts
ABSOLUTELY!
I agree with you.
Tattletales or Reporting?
I create sites that “out” ethics lapses in the legal arena. I don’t consider it tattletales…there is a responsibility to be transparent in the law where so much corruption takes place. I report only those things that can be documented. So if a judge starts a custody hearing at the wrong time leaving one parent not there, you better believe I’m going to write about it. Or another refuses to let expert witness information in because she’s friends with opposing counsel, I’ll write about it. (See Stanford Professor Philip Zimbardo on hiding evil in The Lucifer Effect.) When we shine light on evil, bad things and inhumane things, we can act on them. To let them sit in darkness, to do nothing breeds more. Some of the sites pointed out here may be silly when they “out” a tip, but not if bitter waitress was sexually harassed. Common sense will be ditched at times, so we have to watch out for that. But to sit and watch bad and not have the courage to speak up is what lets evil thrive.
RE: Tattletales or Reporting?
Evil?
But you make it sound like cutting someone off in traffic is evil, not paying a tip is evil, breaking up with a girlfriend is evil. I don’t think that it could be considered reporting either. Reporting would imply that the person will be fined or arrested by the government at a later time. These are not government funded websites. These are probably made by people who have too much time on their hands and have nothing better to do. But, like I said, I don’t like your whole evil and inhumane thing. Cutting someone off in traffic is about as human as you get.
RE: Evil?
Not What I Said at all
Please go read my post again and watch for the part that said some of these sites may be silly. And you might find Zimbardo’s book interesting. Look it up. It’s about the famous Stanford Prison Experiment and explains why good people do bad things. If a society doesn’t know something is happening it cannot act on it. That allows evil to thrive.
Transparency is good. As they say in DC when corruption occurs: sunshine is the best disinfectant.
BUT…privacy in the home and between two people, these are to to be respected.
Cutting someone off in traffic kills thousands. It may be human, but it doesn’t make it right. It may not be evil but it needs to be addressed.