The Responsibility Project^®. Exploring what it means to do the right thing

Food Fight: Kids v. Vegetables

170 Comments

January 31, 2008 by Kathy McManus

When a book called "Deceptively Delicious" was recently published, it prompted a double-barreled debate about ethics—those of its author and that of its premise.

Surprisingly, “Deceptively Delicious” is a cookbook.

Subtitled “Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food”, the book extols the strategy of deceiving finicky young eaters by hiding veggies in the few foods they deign to down. Pureed spinach in the brownies. Pureed cauliflower in the mac and cheese.

The book’s author, Jessica Seinfeld—aka, Mrs. Jerry Seinfeld—was soon accused of plagiarism by the writer of a competing cookbook who claimed to have camouflaged carrots long before Ms. Seinfeld buried beets in chocolate cake. The writer sued the Seinfelds after noting “uncanny similarities” between the two books.

Denying the charges, Ms. Seinfeld’s book shot to the top spot in its category on The New York Times best sellers list. But at the same time, an even more intense debate was being stirred by professionals and parents who claim that hiding the truth about vegetables from kids is an unethical and irresponsible form of deception.

“Lying to children via trickery—even ‘for their own good’—can feed a lifetime of distrust, as it should,” declared a famous food critic. A well-known nutritionist concurred: “It will not develop an appreciation of the flavors, textures, and interests of various vegetables.”

All of which prompted Ms. Seinfeld to put down her spoon and take to her website, asking these questions about food—if not life: “Does a hidden vegetable in a child’s food amount to lying? Is it ever okay to deceive children or do we owe them the whole truth—and the whole vegetables? Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, for instance, are outright fictions…with which the vast majority of parents in this country routinely choose to deceive their children. Is that wrong? I don’t think so.”

What do you think?

170 Comments

What do you think? Leave a comment

• January 31, 2008 by Matthew

  I think it's perfectly fine not telling your children that you hide vegetables in their food. Most children want to eat good food, it just doesn't taste as good as the bad stuff. Who knows, someday they may even appreciate what you did. I think in this world, parents do much worse stuff to their children than hiding vegetables in their dinner.

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  • July 2, 2009 by bye2u

    I think it’s a bad idea.

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    • May 5, 2010 by MALICIA

      Why do you think this is a bad idea.

    • July 15, 2010 by destiny

      i think the childrens cook book is a great idea so that a child can learn to cook at a early age

  • May 4, 2010 by Lynn

    I do not think we are hiding vegetables in foods that are good for our children just simply making them better for all of us. After all we do not tell them everything that is in processed foods. Of course that could be because most of us can not even pronounce all of the ingredients. My family neighbors and friends think I am a great cook. Little do they know how healthy they are eating. enjoy cooking and eating healthy, Lynn

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    • August 16, 2010 by Andy Johnson

      I have been told that if my 9 year old can not pronounce an ingredient that I should not feed them the manufactures creation that is found on the shelf at the grocery store.

  • June 16, 2010 by molly

    i dont see wh one little small lie is so bad you know

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  • June 22, 2010 by not telling

    any lie is the same as any other lie lieing is lieing and you dont need to lie no matter what god hates liers

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    • June 26, 2010 by Linda Thornton

      Have you never heard of the ethical principal of "the greater good"? It is a well know principle used for all sorts of things that we do in the USA and shoudl apply here also. If you are going to argue ethics, at least be familiar with the basic principles of the school of thought of ethics. For goodness sakes, there are major things going on the in the U.S., if you don't want to do this; don't. If you want to; do. Move on. It's not brain surgery or rocket science, it is a parents individual choice. Last time I checked you still have that choice in the U.S.

    • July 10, 2010 by kathy

      God does not hate liars. He hates lies.

    • July 12, 2010 by Bailey

      I don't think you're right. It is true that lying is wrong but its not like they are going to be traumatizied because we put a carrot in they're food. honestly what they don't know won't hurt them. In this case it is good for them. Oh and God does not hate anyone. Is that what you would tell you're child when they ate a peice of candy before dinner and said they didn't. That God hates them. You shouldn't say things like this because hate is a sin too. God does not sin.

    • September 3, 2010 by Chelsey

      Do your children know that you add milk and butter to their mac n cheese? Do your kids know every spice that is in the spaghetti sauce or the sloppy joe sauce. I do not tell my kids all the ingredients of what I am cooking, so why would it be lying if I added veggies and didn't tell them? I can't get my son to eat even 1 fruit or veggie, but he will for sure down a smoothie no problem, only because he doesn't know what is in it. I do what I have to to get my kids some healthy food in their system. I have no guilt and I am not a liar!!!!

• January 31, 2008 by Sara Strock

  Eventually, every child comes to know the truth of the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus. Hidden food in a child's meal only serves to show the child how he can in fact eat peas and like them, somehow. The revelation should come after the meal has been well-digested to avoid the spitting out antic that can be so messy. For example, after dessert say "Little Charlie, guess what? Tonight you ate Peas!" Rather than anytime earlier, since Charlie will be unlikely to spit out dessert. He may be less likely to trust what is put before him in the future, but he couldn't tell before, and he'll soon forget. And you have told the truth. So all is well. In all seriousness, a child will realize the thing he has eaten has done him no harm, and may try the whole vegetable in the future.

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  • November 1, 2009 by bella swan

    i now i love twilight tooooooooooooooooo

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    • May 24, 2010 by donald hall

      hi your cool

  • August 3, 2010 by Kay

    I agree with the comment about our children not being traumatized by vegetables being hidden in their other food. What's the big deal? If doing this will make them healthier, do it. Besides, who's to say that this will not give them a taste for veggies as they get older? I don't think this subject is even worth debating.

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• January 31, 2008 by Dorothy Gardiner

  I did the same thing with my children. I always cooked from scratch and when it came to soups I would blend a variety of vegetables all together and also in sauces. My kids never knew about the variety of vegetables they ate and the amounts since I never talked about such. I just cooked and served. Now both are grown and enjoy every vegetable and fruit out there. They also aren't finicky eaters since their whole young lives I never gave them choices. I never spent one hour in a restaurant asking my diaper wearing toddler what does he want to eat. They just ate what I ate and knew was healthy. I think Ms. Seinfeld is right. This isn't a lie - it is for a child's own good.

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• February 1, 2008 by Bonny Gagne

  I am going out and buy this cookbook. I think it is a great idea and it doesn't have to be deceptive. The amount of information should be dependent on your child's age. I plan on telling my 11 & 12 year that we are eating healthier and since the 3 of us do not like the taste of veggies this is how we are going to accomplish it.

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• April 8, 2008 by terrance tattrie

  I'm really tired of all these so called "professionals" trying to tell people how to raise their kids. IT'S FOOD FOR HEAVENS' SAKE! I don't think a child is going to develope trust issues because mom figured out a way for him to eat his vegatables in a tasty way. This whole thing is rediculous! A nutritionist and a food critic are now child psychologists? I think the "food critic" should try and find a real job.

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  • June 20, 2010 by Chloe

    i think its a bad idea i mean lying to our kids and making them eat food that they like but not telling them there veggies in them and ITS FOOD FOR HEAVENS SAKE !!!!!!! like she said we are not pros we wont tell you how yo rasie YOUR kids

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• May 31, 2008 by Nan Miller

  An insidious food fad has crept into mainstream America. For fun, I’ve named it The Clandestine Puree Caper. Have you heard? Word on the street is that the way to get kids to eat fruits and vegetables is to surreptitiously conceal pureed produce in everything from Macaroni and Cheese to Brownies. Wow! How long should the chief cook and bottle washer carry on this charade? And exactly how do kids transition to eating fruits and vegetables in their non-pureed state? Besides the obvious hurdles with sneaking pureed goodies into daily foods, let’s explore the issue of parent-child trust. “Johnny, now that you’re going off to college I thought you should know that mom has hidden fruits and vegetables in all of your entrees and desserts for the past 18 years.” Okay, so this isn’t on the same scale as the Enron cover-up, but still. You’ve already lied (or will lie) about the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny so this revelation may not sit well with some kids. Unlike the temporary letdown of learning that your parents introduced mythical characters, this Big Lie has the potential to affect your kids desire for and consumption of fresh fruits and vegetables for the rest of their lives. If you believe in deceptive meal preparation, Deceptively Delicious is the cookbook for you. However, if you believe that fruit and vegetable subterfuge is no more than a band-aid approach to the real issue of forming long-term healthy eating habits, then I invite you to read on. Eating healthy, and that includes serving fruits and vegetables in their natural state, involves commitment. Either you’re committed to serving your kids (and your family) nutritious foods or you’re not. Are you up for the challenge? It takes time, trial and error, and patience. And, most importantly: a backbone. As a member of the minority, you will have to be strong enough to avoid buying most packaged foods located in the center of the grocery store. Yikes! In addition, you will have to be strong enough to avoid your kids’ pleas for sugary cereals, soda, packaged sweets, and chips. You will have to be strong enough to pack healthy lunches without relying on pre-packaged solutions. Is this possible, you ask? The answer is a resounding “YES.” In a perfect world, the best time to introduce healthy eating is before your child starts eating solids. Why? Because you’re starting from scratch and the slate is clean. You’re laying the foundation – much like constructing a new home. Without a strong foundation, your house will erode over time. The same is true for your children’s bodies. Pump them full of the wrong foods and their energy will wane, their health may decline due to obesity or other nutritional problems, and most likely they will develop a lifetime of poor eating habits. But what if your children are older and bad eating habits have already formed? Not to worry. You have the power to reverse course today. Remember, you are the gatekeeper for all food that enters the home. As the primary grocery shopper, you hold down an important job. While your children have control over whether or not they eat what you serve, you have the ultimate power as a parent to decide what’s inside your pantry and your refrigerator. This is a critical point. How many times have you heard about parents complaining that “bad marketers” are advertising junk food on TV and making their kids crave less nutritious foods? Guess what? I don’t buy it. First, turn off the TV, and second, remember that you’re a parent with a backbone. I guarantee that you’ll never experience temper tantrums in the cereal aisle or galactic battles in the cookie aisle because you’re on a nutrition mission – your kids know that you won’t acquiesce to their demands. Now, for the hard part: self-evaluation and modeling good behavior. When you work up the nerve to open your cupboards and peek inside your refrigerator, take an inventory of your current food supply - what do you see? Does your food inventory look like you just came back from the farmer’s market or from the 7-Eleven? The reason I ask is that unless you believe in, and actually practice eating nutritious foods, this whole idea of feeding your kids healthy stuff won’t work. Oh, you might be able to buy some time until they are toddlers, but then the foundation will start to crack. Remember monkey see, monkey do. Well, you get the idea. Everything I “preach”, I’ve done. And so has my family. No one feels deprived; in fact, treats are allowed, but they’re kept for special occasions, birthdays and holidays. As a parent, you too can start a nutrition revolution in your own home. Give your kids the gift of nutritious sustenance. When they’re all grown up, they’ll thank you for caring so much.

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  • June 20, 2010 by caddy

    hey everyone im a new mom i have a 2 month old and a 3 year old i dont tell my kids what in thier food i mean it's vegtables and when they grow up thier gonna say thanks mom. and plus you shouldn't lie to your kids i mean you should come up straight and say you know we need to start eating healthier i mean im not gonna have you die from being fat or over weight so starting tommoroow or whenever you want to start you say that

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  • August 17, 2010 by Serena

    Thank you for saying that it takes commitment! It is not a matter of hiding, sneaking and tricking. It is a matter of teaching, modelling and making available good eating habits for your children. It will take more time and more effort than grabbing easier processed food/fast food options, and yes, you will definitely be in the minority . . . but it is so worthwhile. When I compare the energy levels and health of my children to their peers, I can see noticeable differences. I know my efforts are worth it.

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• July 23, 2008 by Red

  I am fortunate that both my kids eat most fruits and vegetables. I still like the idea of adding more nutrition to their meals and I do not serve packaged foods very often. So, why not add the puree when possible, but still serve the whole fruits and vegetables? I think the 'experts' say that a new item has to be put in front of kids an average of 10 times before they will try it on their own. However, in my house they have to take at least one bite (even for fresh tomatoes which is the only think they do not like).

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• August 18, 2008 by lisa

  I have two small children and have tried everything to get them to eat vegetables. Nothing has worked. I love this idea of sneaking it into their food. It doesn't have to be a fight at meal times trying to get them to eat their vegetables. My family has a nice meal and I know they are eating good. Mind you I don't always hide using pureed vegetables but I don't tell my kids they are in the meal. I may hide shredded vegetables in sauces or in whatever I am cooking,or I make my own vegetables juices for them to drink. I don't understand how that is going to "screw up " your kids. You know what, if my kids grow up and are mad at me for sneaking vegetables into their meals, so be it. These people are ridiculous. My parents lied to me when I was younger: Santa Claus, easter bunny, tooth fairy, "Mom how old were you when you first had sex?" and on, and on. Also this isn't a new fad my grandmother and my mother both did this for their kids. Let me tell you as I got older I started to like vegetables and actually I still do and eat them all the time. So people don't tell me that this will cause your kids to grow up and hate vegetables and never to learn how to eat properly. My brothers and sisters (all 6 of us) grew up this way and ALL eat healthy. Yes that means fruits and vegetables. So don't give an opinion unless you know what you are talking about.

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• August 25, 2008 by goblue52

  Yes, it's lying, but for a good cause. I can't believe people are wasting time questioning the motives of parents in this situation. I have 2 children and they both hate vegetables. So, if I can get them to eat vegetables without them knowing it, you bet I'll do it!!! As for creating an environment of mistrust...I don't plan on telling them. We're talking about vegetables here, people, something good for children (and adults). If someone wants to hide veggies that I hate in a recipe that I like, more power to them! And yes, I told them about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy and guess what?! Once they found it they were not real, they were not traumatized at all! They consider it a lovely memory of their childhood that they would never have wanted to miss out on. This is a ridiculous debate. My kids are well-grounded enough to know that parents only have their best interest at heart. You "politically-correct" people need to get a life!!!

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• September 9, 2008 by Wendy

  What matter is it to the kid what is in what they are eating? I don't tell my kid "Hey, I have been feeding you hydrogenated fat in your cookies." So why tell them that you have put veggies in the food? They don't care. All they know is that you have cooked the meal and they are eating it. I would think that a trust issue would arise if my kid found out I put razor blades in the food, not veggies. Let's quit being overly sensitive and get a bit of a grip - its veggies.

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  • July 10, 2010 by kathy

    yes & thank you!

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    • August 1, 2010 by Gianna

      hi there got any grapes

• October 16, 2008 by Betsy

  I support Jessica in this one. Bought her book for my daughter too! We have an epidemic in this country of obese/diabetic children. Training their taste buds to eat these veggies while young is SO MUCH more important than a little white lie. I'm sure my children forgave me regarding the Tooth fairy and Santa just as I'm sure my grandchildren will forgive these hidden veggies. Trust me, a well adjusted kid will be able to put this in perspective.

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  • September 2, 2010 by jazmin

    yes....yes....yes....YES...

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• December 26, 2008 by

  So why treat them that way? I'm not saying that this cookbook would not work, but getting the child to be active in his/her own health is, in my not so humble opinion, the better method. By all means, buy the cookbook, but have your child bake with you. I realize that with older children that might not work so well, but in that case, take them through the whole process of buying/growing the produce, telling them why it is good for you and washing and cooking them. Make them into ways that will be delicious for them, be that brownies or a mix of fruit and sweet veggies for a snack. Show them the wonder that healthy food can be and they will be more likely to eat it than if you just plop it down in front of them expecting them to eat it on blind faith and because mother said. I think that the show Lazytown (http://www.lazytown.com/) has the right idea, and has caused more children to eat their fruits and veggies than any other marketed product I can think of.

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